Single Edition Approached Me For An Interview!

Today I am thrilled to give a shout-out to Single Edition for honoring me as one of their spotlight singles.  Please take a moment to read about my experience of being a single mom in the interview on their website, here (www.singleedition.com).

I was on vacation when a representative from Single Edition contacted me and asked about doing an interview.  In the midst of getting back we finalized the interview and now it is in this week's issue of their newsletter and on their website.  This is such an honor.  In just the past few months I have tried taking my blogging to the next level and truly becoming a part of the blogosphere; so this is quite humbling and I appreciate them giving me an opportunity to share my story as a single mom.

Well before it sounds like it's all going to my head, I am just going to cut this short and ask that if you get a few minutes, check it out;  and then come back here and leave me a comment or two.  I would love some feedback. 

Photo Credit: my photo submitted to Single Edition with their choice of quote.

Technorati Tags: single moms,dating,blogging,interviews,Single

Up-to date on The Date

Many have been asking me... "What about your first real date  with 'K'?"  Well, 'K' and I have went out a few times since the first "meet-up" on that Wednesday night when he tried to find me an apple pie for dessert.  The first official 'date' was on the Saturday night after that Wednesday and I finally got my apple pie.  'K' cooked me dinner that night and of course had apple pie for dessert.  Not only did I have it for dinner, but he gave me a separate apple strudel pie to have at my house for my kids to enjoy later.  Wasn't that thoughtful?

We have met-up or went out a couple more times since then and each time he has been quite the gentleman and always brings something to my door for my kids and myself to enjoy at a later time.  This past Saturday night it was Hershey bars.  We have had many talks and through these conversations, the synopsis so far has been that we are  not looking for anything serious at this time.  Being busy with work and raising our kids leaves little time for a relationship and he has emphasized the fact that getting married is something he has set in his mind for ten years down the road.

So clearly, we still want to hang out together at times and continue to get to know each other; but friends is where it stands.  There is an interest on both sides, but  I believe I speak for both of us when I say we agree taking it very slow is what we both want. 

For those of you hanging on the edge of your seat, waiting to hear "the rest of the story," I hope the reality of my lovely dating saga doesn't bore you because  I think it remains interesting as I continue waiting to see what unfolds next. 

I don't mind having guy friends and someday there will be "the best friend and companion" I could ever possibly ask for that will develop - and whether that will be from a current or from a future friend, no one knows at this time.  That is part of the mystery of life.... the mystery of my dating life that is.

So now it's your turn.  Leave your comments below:

What's your most recent dating experience you can share?

Do you think taking it slow is equivalent to 'boring' when it comes to dating, or does the suspense of what may happen next make it just as interesting? 

What is your opinion of online dating?  Is there potential for a real relationship when meeting someone this way?

Photo Credit:  http://images-cdn01.associatedcontent.com/image/A9525/95251/300_95251.jpg

Technorati Tags: single moms,dating,relationships,friendships,apple pie,marriage,life,gentlemen,online dating

No Fear in Finance

Here’s a little of what I don’t know….

I don’t know the future of our country’s economy.

I don’t know what the ramifications will be when they speak of the equivalent of $3500 from every individual in the United States including men, women, and children (as small as infants) being used to pay for a bailout that has been a long time of bad decisions coming to a culmination.

I don’t know as a single parent, how taxes will be affected to cover this short-term crisis.

I don’t know what it’s like to live through a depression.

I don’t know if Jas will mow the lawn when he gets home from school.

But I do know….

I do know I must be anxious for nothing.

I do know I have food in my cabinet and gas in my car for today.

I do know I have a job to go to as of right now.

I do know my children have clothes to wear and schools to attend.

I do know that I have a home to live in that’s warm and cozy when it’s cool outside.

I do know now more than ever that I depend on God taking care of all these things I don’t know about tomorrow.

I do know Jas will not get paid if he doesn’t finish mowing the lawn.

But I also know we must do our part of making better decisions each moment of today and learn from our bad decisions of the past. I know I am stating the obvious here, but I believe we should all pay our debts and live within our means, even if that requires sacrifice. As a single mom, I know how to cut corners and live on a tight budget. I think it’s fair that I request this “living within your means” of all American citizens alike.

There is an old hymn… maybe you have heard it… one line of the song rings out in my mind tonight:

I don't know about tomorrow,

I just live from day to day.

I don't borrow from its sunshine,

For its skies may turn to gray.

Many things about tomorrow,

I don't seem to understand;

But I know who holds tomorrow,

And I know who holds my hand.

Excerpt from the song, “I Know Who Holds Tomorrow”

I am not ignoring the crisis before us. I am not hiding my head in the sand. But I have a great deal to be grateful for; so I would rather count my blessings at this time of chaos and uncertainty instead of wringing my hands and blowing into a paper bag. Even though I have had my own issues with anxiety, I am sincere when I tell you have no fear. Try to focus on the positive. What good will fear do any of us anyway?

Photo Credit:  http://smallbiztechnology.com/media/money-coins.jpg

Technorati Tags: single moms,singles,finances,economy,anxiety,faith,gratitudes,life,money

National Singles Week - Sept 21 - 27

To all my readers that are single moms, single dads, or singles period out there in the blogosphere this is the week to celebrate our singlehood!  Now I am not suggesting that we don't appreciate dual parent homes and their importance in our world, but I am embracing my position as a single parent and I know many in my stage of life that are doing the same.   So take some time out for yourselves, some much needed "me-time" this week.  Or get together with other singles and celebrate the life we have right now.   There are 12 million of us single parents in the USA according to the National Unmarried and Single Americans Website.  So you can't say you don't have anyone to hang out with!

Technorati Tags: singles,blogosphere,singlehood,single moms,unmarried,me-time,life,parents

ER-Logs and Young Self Images

Blog is a word we now use to describe keeping a journal of entries on the "web" and that word derived from weblog, its origination.  So if a journal entry is made on paper - we could say that is an erlog, right?  Well for the sake of this blog, erlog is what I am going with.  Kass brought home her Friday folder this past weekend.  She had a journal entry on paper or a paperlog in that folder.  I loved it and thought I would share it here.  Her erlog is below:

 

Don't you love how she references what others think of her and then follows it up with "I am also cool." Here it's as if she says 'and this is what I think of myself.'  I loved this and I want to constantly encourage and uplift hers as well as other young girls' and teen girls' self esteem.  Too many things influence girls and minimizes their self image and their ego.  They are convinced they have to be model thin, model pretty and wear model brand clothes.

So somehow in an attempt to counteract that I hope you will make it a point today to tell a young girl or teen that she is beautiful. Oh, and don't forget to tell her she really is "cool" too.  Because if she is like Kass, she will already realize that, but a little reconfirmation can never hurt.

Now it's your turn: 

Do you think our media focuses on young women and constantly reiterates they aren't quite good enough?

In doing some quick research online I found this article from kids.lovetoknow.com.  They answer these kinds of questions and point you to research on answers to things like:   "What Studies Show: Links Between Media and Self Esteem in Girls."  In this same article they also outline "Ways to Develop, Improve, and Maintain Self Esteem in Girls."  Just because it's on the Internet doesn't make it "doctrine" but I think it's worth taking a minute to understand ways we can improve our young girls and their self images growing up.

Photo Credit:  Kassity's Paperlog from 4th grade.

Technorati Tags: single moms,children,school,self-esteem

Less is More Weekend

Wow, I am tired as I type this and reflect on this past weekend. It was a good weekend, but a busy one. I had packed way too much into one weekend, and realized this as I headed into it on Friday afternoon. Kass was going to have a friend sleepover Friday night and then we were to be at two different outings on Saturday: one at her school and another where my brother and sister-in-law would be showing his car in a car show. Following the days events on Saturday I had promised Jason he could have a friend to sleepover Saturday night. Sunday, I was scheduled to teach the children at church and then the church had our 40^th anniversary picnic later in the afternoon. I was already getting tired just thinking about that non-stop schedule when I left work on Friday.

But then completely out of my control different plans began to change. I picked up Chinese food on the way home and had Kass’ friend with us already. We went home and ate dinner and then her friend started feeling homesick… so she asked if Kass could just stay at her house instead. I allowed Kass to go home with her and so that was one sleepover canceled. Jason had friends over for a little while. Then one of them invited him to stay at their house. Ok, now not only did I not have to help entertain one of her friends… but I also had the house to myself after 8 o’clock.

Saturday morning I was able to sleep-in and get ready at my own pace before I went to pick up Kass and her friends to take them to the fun day at her school. It didn’t start till 11 that morning, so I had plenty of time. Famous last words… because then, my frustration began: as I was about to walk out the door, Jas returned and said that his plans to go the tournament with his friend were falling apart. No longer did they have a ride to get there… and would I take them? What?! I was about to leave to pick up Kass and her friends and I had just enough time to get them there by 11 am when it started. Jas knew that I had made these plans and he was more than welcome to go with us to fun day… but he wanted to go to this tournament with his buddies and had made plans that his friend’s mom would take him. Now here I was with my step-by-step agenda all in place for the day, and Jas needed transportation.

So I made the quick decision to try to get them there on the way. I had him get in the car and we stopped by his buddy’s house to see if he could still go, now that they had a ride. His buddy couldn’t go. Jas decided he would call another friend, so we headed toward the tournament. That other friend wasn’t home.

See, this is why I tell him you have to make these plans in advance. But he did think his first friends’ mom was all set to take the boys. At least I guess they had discussed that with her in advance when they told me their plans… now I am not so sure….with everyone bailing out. (Yes, this is where I learned that I should have confirmed the tournament ride with the boy’s mom… ok, I realize that now.) I get closer to the tournament and the ATM where I needed to stop anyway before our planned outing. As we get closer – Jas decides he doesn’t want to go and be there without some of his friends. So you guessed it. After stopping at the ATM, I have to go “out of my way” to take him all the way back home. He didn’t want to go to the outing at his sister’s school, that was too juvenile. (He was right.) But by this time, Kass is calling me, wondering where I am, and I haven’t yet dropped off her brother! Finally after much frustration, and unnecessary gas… I get the girls to the event at their school. Even though we were late, it worked out well. We got lunch when we arrived and they got to play games and have a great time. I was stressed over nothing… once again. After such a great time here, we just skipped the car show when we realized it was to be over by 3:00 PM.

The rest of the weekend was about as planned although the other sleepover Saturday night got canceled as well. So I ended up with a much quieter house all weekend than what I expected. After a busy and stressful workweek, it was what I needed. God knew that and worked it out that way, even though I was just crazy enough before the weekend to keep adding more and more into the plans.

I did have some moments of sheer frustration, (more than one, I hate to admit, but I am not going to bore you with the bike incident at the picnic on Sunday). Regardless, I am grateful that it ended up with less to do as opposed to the more I was trying to make for myself to do. I mean what was I thinking, anyway? Overly ambitious, or overly zealous are not exactly what I need to strive for as a single mom. Just making it through the day, or the weekend is a reward for me. Less is more I always say; now I just need to remember it when planning up my weekends!

Photo Credit:  http://farm1.static.flickr.com/114/311658424_38f05339f3.jpg

Technorati Tags: Gratitude,single moms,children,frustration

Time for the TALK

Kass had her annual checkup Tuesday.  Part of my Tuesday marathon was getting her to the doctor by 3:00 PM (since I pick her up at school at 2:30 PM).  And because she hadn't been to see a doctor in 2008, I of course was handed a 3-4 page medical history form to complete - even though she's been seen by these doctors since birth.  But sure, they need this information again this year, what am I thinking?  Makes perfect sense.  Because the age she started walking is possibly going to change if I think about it long enough and her allergies just might change from year to year as well as other medical history, I guess. 

Anyway I digress.  After waiting forty-five minutes for her 3:00 scheduled physical exam, we go back to the exam room and wait another 10 to 15 minutes before the nurse even comes in to get her height and weight.  She proceeds to tell me that Kass is getting taller AND  that she will have to get a shot today.  WOOOPS I lied.  I had told Kass she wouldn't be getting any shots -  I didn't think any were due, she had some last year.  Plus it calms her down prior to arrival if she thinks she can rule out that possibility in her mind.

Kass gave me the look and when the lovely nurse full of all this wonderful news leaves the room, Kass begins to complain.  But she remains calm.... until the doctor walks in.  It went downhill from there. Kass breaks into tears as the doctor says, "Stare at the butterfly," so he can check her eyes.  I mention she is worried about the shot.  He follows up with, "You know I don't give the shot, right, you do know that.  So as long as I'm in here - you don't have to worry about the shots."  She calmed down "a little." 

Then he checked her over and proceeded to tell me, "Mom it's time for 'the talk.'  I spoke up without thinking "So soon?"  Yeah, she will becoming a "big girl" in the next couple years, or less, he says as he is handing me a pamphlet on the HPV vaccine.  HPV vaccine! She is nine! Did I miss something here?  So he proceeded to talk about things that I knew would raise questions for Kass and I told him I would talk to her.  (What was I suppose to tell him, that I was going to leave her clueless till she's 20?)  Although, since I have already told her she will be thirty before she dates, that might work.  Don't you think thirty is a good age to date?

Have 'the talk' with her at nine.  Well with that I am going to ask all my fellow moms out there in the blogosphere...

Any tips or recommended web-sites for sharing the educated information about girls "changing bodies"?  Any books on adolescent girls becoming a "big girl" as the doctor kept referring to it?

(He also used the term "menses"  OK is it just me or am I the only one that has never heard it referred to as "menses?")

Now, I do think she is already ahead of the game.  Tonight on the way home, we are alone in the car and she says, "So the doctor thinks I will start before I'm eleven?"  "He thinks you might," I reply.  "Well 'C' hasn't started and she's 13.  I can't believe that she hasn't," Kass continues.  So now I wonder (since I am not yet fully prepared and educated enough to comfortably share this new world of information to my baby) what does my nine year-old equate with "started"?  I haven't told her, the school hasn't told me they have told her, so I guess friends talk to her.  She does have older friends. 

Yeah, I guess it's time for 'mom' to tell her baby.... about the facts of life.  Just not sure I am in a big fat hurry to do this... but according to her doctor, now is the time.

PHOTO Credit:  http://colouroflife.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/baby.jpg

Technorati Tags: single moms,children,medical

Single Parents, We Will Survive

Music.  It touches the heart and touches the soul.  I spoke about a current theme song that I have claimed, which is 'Can't Hurry Love' in a previous blog (linked here).  But I also claim the recent John Mayer song, "Say" as my current theme song as well because of my latest obsession with blogging and writing.  (Find the lyrics here.)  It fits.

This morning though, what has become my life long theme song came on the radio while I was driving into work.  So I went down memory lane for a moment.  When I was 8, 9, 10 or so I got into music, or should I say started getting into more popular music.  My brother was five years older than me and he had an influence on what I listened to.  If he listened, I listened.  He gave me some old vinyl 45's.  (Yeah this shows I'm thirty something... some of you don't know what a vinyl 45 is.) One of those forty-fives I played over and over and over again way back then.  I just loved the song.  There was something about it.  But who knew it would become an ever returning theme song over the years. 

Here's the lyrics... do you remember this one?  Who knew way back then when I was eight or so that this song would be so relevant in my life today. Funny, how life works that way.  

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and so you're back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me
Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as I know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive
It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart
and I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
Now I hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person
still in love with you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to be free
now I'm saving all my loving
for someone who's loving me

There's probably a lot of single parents who can relate to this song.  I have met several. 

As a matter of fact we have created (or at least some very good, new found, single parent friends, like this one and this one have created ) a space, a group, just for us on FACEBOOK called Single Parents Connection.  If you are a single parent or a single or a friend of a single parent... come on over and check it out.  You won't be sorry.  There's some great links to some truly relevant blogs and a list of single parent bloggers on there as they have tried to compile the best of the best list... (Oh yeah and they must like me because they included me!  I was quite honored.) They also have some great discussions posted just waiting on your input!

Technorati Tags: single moms,music,blogging,Facebook,life

Photo Credit: http://www.besportier.com/archives/gap-sweater-vest-fall-2007-john-mayer-1.JPG

Single Encounters of the Dating Kind

I met “K” last Wednesday night. If you don't know who "K" is, read this blog and find out more. It was to be our “meet up” (not our first date) according to “K.” This would let some of the pressure off from our first date if we met on a casual basis first, he thought. We decided we would meet and get ice cream and talk; getting the “preliminaries” out of the way. So Wednesday came, I had both kids going to friends’ houses to stay after school making my evening free and ready for our “meet up.”

After work, I ran by my house, let the dogs out and “freshened” up.

What I didn’t get to do:

- Wash the infinity

- Repaint my toenails

- Take another shower

- Completely change out of my work clothes into something more casual

- Change to a smaller purse

What I did get to do:

- Let the dogs run around for 30 minutes

- Brush my teeth

- Comb my hair

- Freshen my makeup

So as you can see, it was supposed to be a casual meeting, but “meet up” or first date, either way I knew I wanted to make a good first impression. Time just didn’t allow for me to get it all done. So I left the house hoping for the best.

Well we met at an ice cream shop I chose nearby. When I pulled up the place was closed. No big deal. Being parents, we both understand you have to be flexible at a moment’s notice. He asked me to join him in his vehicle and we would drive somewhere else together. I started rambling when I got in, and I’m not even sure now what I was saying as I share this in reflection; but I usually do ramble when I am nervous. Only minutes passed however, and I started feeling less nervous and more comfortable like during our conversations we’ve had over the past three weeks. I was craving apple pie and so now he became the "man on a mission." We were setting out to find a restaurant with apple pie a la mode. Our first stop didn’t have it, nor the second, nor the third. He was so kind and patient as he insisted to go in place after place after place asking the host/hostess if they served apple pie on their desert menu. (Surprisingly, it’s not as common a dish as I had thought! Isn’t this America… home of the apple pie?)

Finally after several stops, the next restaurant we came to on recommendation from a host at Ruby Tuesday (Thanks by the way) was Olive Garden. So I made a quick decision and asked for a table, before “K” could ask about deserts. But they didn’t have apple pie either! I loved his patience and his persistence, (and I will never forget that) but we needed to settle on a place and just get something. He looked at me funny for a minute, as if to say, are you sure you don’t want apple pie?  Understanding his questioned look, I explained we should just stay here and I would find something else instead.

We each made a choice from the menu and talked. I was truly at ease and had a wonderful time. After we left I had a little more time before I had to pick up the kids, so we went to the mall. I fought the urge to truly shop and so we just browsed and chatted more.   I found myself smiling and laughing the whole evening.  That was a good sign.

Our official first date was this past Saturday night….. (check back to hear about "the first real date" as my “K” encounter continues).

Photo Credit: http://www.lookdeeper.com/files/user2/apple_pie.jpg

Technorati Tags: single moms,dating,relationships

Highlights of the Week

This has been a busy week. This week has felt like two weeks packed into one, but over the last few days I have reflected on a few moments that were priceless. So I wanted to share a few highlights…

1. I had to call my son, Jas, Wednesday afternoon to check to see if he was definitely going to stay over his buddy “C’s” house after school as we had discussed that morning. He was with several friends while we had this conversation. In the midst of his confirmation he was going to “C’s” house, he paused, as another friend must have questioned his ability to stay over on a school night with a friend. His reply “Oh yeah. My mom is awesome like that.” Ok, golden moment, do you not agree?
2. Sunday night on the way home from the state meeting, Kass says she has to go to the restroom and wants us to get home quick. I explain it will be quicker to take the interstate and she says it will be quicker through the neighborhoods. In response I tell her – look at the clock on the stereo. We can be home in 12 minutes if I take interstate. Eleven minutes later we are pulling up in the driveway. She says, “Mom, how come you are always right?!” I just smiled.
3. We started a more structured “family time” as a part of our schedule each night. At 8:30 PM we stop everything, come together and share some scriptures, talk about them, and have a family prayer. We’ve always prayed together at bedtime, but we are making it more of a time of discussion and comparing different versions of the Bible. Both Jas and Kass are sincerely participating. And their participation has been a true highlight of my week. But in the grand scheme of things, the plan is for this to accomplish a number of things:
   • To maintain constant open communication with my kids.
   • To instill in them an understandable value system, not just high expectations that are unreachable; but instead realistic expectations with an explanation of why we strive for excellence even though there may be times of missing that mark. Living a “cut above” is doable.
   • To watch them grow into role model citizens as a result of having shared family time discussing morals and ideals.

So you see this has been a busy week, but even more so a productive week when it comes to appreciating these “golden moments” with family.

What about you?

Can you stop and think of three golden moments over the past week? Share them here.

If you look, you will find them. I just have to keep reminding myself to stop, look for them, and listen carefully, especially to my children. They just might surprise me!

Oh, this reminds me of one of our recently discussed verses during family time, Ps. 46:10, which in the NIV says, “Be still and know that I am God.”* But Eugene Peterson’s interpretation of that same verse in “The Message” interestingly says it this way: “Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything.”

Hmmmm, above politics…. Yeah, I’m not even going there right now, but my next question is:

Have you “stepped out of traffic” this week?

*Disclaimer, even though my golden moments were about my children and listening to them, I do not think of my children as God. I do, however, believe that they are a gift from God. But I hereby want to rectify any possible implication that stopping and listening to my children and appreciating these moments as stated herein is the same as stopping and listening to God. (Although, I know God has spoken to me through my children at times. So perhaps there is no need for this rambling run-on disclaimer after all! :)

Technorati Tags: Children,gratitudes,family time,morals

Photo Credit:  http://goflorida.about.com/library/graphics/sunset3.jpg

Soggy Socks & Water Parks

They say a picture is worth a thousand words.   And this one is as well, but I still felt inclined to give you a lead in.

The resort where we stayed in TN had an indoor water park.  Very cool, as you see here:

 

And here:

No doubt, the kids had a blast here on vacation.  But one night, while the kids played on the water slides, in the pools, and in the fountain, this group came in -mostly adults.   They all put their stuff down on one of the tables and slipped off their shirts and shoes to walk over to the hot tub to get in.  

Well.... all but one guy.  One of the couples in the group looked old enough to be this guy's parents, but for the most part he looked ok and he was probably in his twenties.  So if he had something wrong with him I am not making fun... only sharing the moment.  Anyway, when all the rest took off their shirts and shoes he took of his shirt and proceeded to walk over in swim trunks, SOCKS AND SHOES and got IN the hot tub!  Not kidding.... so here's a pic I took later has he moved from one of the pools back to the hot tub.  I caught this shot while Kass modeled to allow me my opportunity. 

Can you make him out on the right? 

... and here is a close up, socks, shoes and all!:

Hey, you have to admit.... that is funny!

Photo Credits:  ME!

Technorati Tags: single moms,children,vacation

Love takes Time.... HOW MUCH TIME?

 

In a previous blog while on vacation  I mentioned there was a new guy in my life, we'll call him "K".  I haven't said much about him, I know, and with reason.  A song came on the radio while we were traveling one day... I adopted it as my current theme song..... "Can't hurry Love" Sung by Diana Ross:

 

I need love, love
To ease my mind
I need to find, find someone to call mine
But mama said
You cant hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
Its a game of give and take
You cant hurry love
No, you just have to wait
You got to trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes
But how many heartaches
Must I stand before I find a love

.........The lyrics continue here.

I think this song rings true right now for me and so I am taking my time. Trust me.  Time is my friend.

We are about to meet for the first time in person, so we have only been talking by email, text, and by phone up to this point.  We met through an online dating site, of course. (I mean where do you think a single mom with a full time job and two kids is going to meet guys?  I don't have the luck of meeting a great guy at Barnes and Noble, like Ms Single MAMA. :)  Or perhaps I am not trying hard enough when I am out and about at the bookstore, library or produce market.)

A Little That I Know About Him

He is a single dad.

He is a Christian.

He is local!

He has a great phone voice.

He is sincere in conversation and considerate.

He listens.

We have a lot in common:

He is a computer tech.

He is intelligent. (Yeah, ok I guess I think of myself as being somewhat intelligent :)

He doesn't like coffee.... which is rare and the closest thing to a coffee drink I will ever buy is a latte'

He enjoys games (board games and card games... come on... you knew what I was talking about!)

He enjoys being single but is open to a potential relationship with the right person.

He loves his children and they are top priority to him.

So Where Do We Go From Here?

Well, at this point I can say I am looking forward to meeting him this week.  I always look forward to our conversations and he puts me at ease on the phone.  Time will tell.  (Oh and since I bring in my past experiences, I have already asked him to prove his age... He knew the year he was born right away unlike some others) ... so kudos go to him already!   :)

Please comment by clicking here.

Technorati Tags: single moms,dating,relationships,single parents,single dads

Photo Credits:  http://www.southern-importers.com/images/160_528_Heart_Clock_2_.jpg, http://images-cdn01.associatedcontent.com/image/A9525/95251/300_95251.jpg

Disheartened for Depot Dad

I have made some wonderful friends in the blogosphere.  This communal tribe of sorts that we have created has no real boundaries but we envelope each other's worlds and provide support to one another via this virtual blogdom.  The Internet allows for some freedom and liberty to be transparently yourself uninhibited at times, because you get to sit behind a monitor to share your thoughts, your dreams, your drama and your trouble.  But as you share these things you can't help but get close to others sharing their hurts and their hearts.

One of my new found heroes in the single parenting blogosphere, Jim (or Depot Dad to some) has been diagnosed with a nasty, disheartening "c" word.  He has melanoma, stage III.  He has a long year of treatments ahead, and a battle that he must endure.  Having survived many trials,  I know he can conquer this one as well. 

I am praying for him.  I am supporting him with shared positive thoughts.  I have cried tears for him.  Even though we only chat via blog posts, emails, and occasionally by phone, I feel a sense of pain on his behalf, a sadness in this time of shock.  It has made me take a closer look at my own vulnerable humanity.  We are all susceptible to sickness and disease.  Jim is only a few years older than me, so the "c" word has no respect for age.  It also has no respect for financial status nor success.  It just shows up at your door sometimes, always uninvited and unwelcome.  So on his behalf I will be reaching for the One who truly knows no boundaries, who knows no limitations, the One who provides strength when our strength is all gone.  Christ is the answer, if we will ask Him. 

Jim, I am praying His Spirit will be walking with you through this as another member of that newly created cancer support team.  I know He can be your comfort each day and during each trying treatment over this next year.  My prayer is that God will direct the orchestra of doctors to develop the best treatment scenario possible for your case. With you all the way over there in California, I can't be there to touch your hand, but perhaps He can touch your heart as I reach out for you and pray for this peace to come.

So as you start your day, say a prayer for Jim as he faces more of these  and more of these in the coming weeks.  And take a minute to leave him a word of encouragement on his blog.

Photo Credit: http://flickr.com/photos/49968232@N00/376662134

Technorati Tags: cancer,single parents,friendships

To Keep or Not To Keep, That is the Question

I came in and lay across the bed. The skin on my feet was stinging as if the straps across the tops of my stilettos worn all day were still squeezing it, but I had taken off my shoes. I needed a few minutes to just stop before making dinner, a few minutes to think and to rest.

When Jas had gotten in the car earlier where I picked him up, he said “Guess what happened at the laundry mat today.” “What happened?” I replied. He hangs out at the library after school lets out each afternoon and there is a laundry mat across the street where he will go with his buddies to get sodas once in a while.

“C was going to buy us sodas and he had a five dollar bill, so we went to the laundry mat to get change. At first the machine wouldn’t take the bill, so C kept trying it again and again. Finally the machine took the bill.” And then he continued to tell me the story. They hit the jackpot! Jas said the machine kept pouring out quarters, not just the twenty quarters they were due for the five dollar bill; but Jas ended up with about 65, another of the boys ended up with over fifty, C got fifty quarters and they were still coming. Jas figures between all of the boys they totaled 200 quarters, ($50 worth). He went on to explain they tried to find the owner of the laundry mat (I am sure he could see by the look on my face I wasn’t happy with him keeping the quarters). He said they couldn’t find anyone that worked there, only customers doing laundry. So their consensus was that since the machine malfunctioned and since they couldn’t find the owner, the quarters were theirs to keep.

I didn’t go back to the laundry mat; I chose to believe his story and told him I was going to leave it up to him what he does with the money.

As I lay there, I kept thinking, “Should I have done differently?” I like to think I have instilled high morals in him since the early years of his childhood and that they have taken root. Am I now a bad mother if I don’t insist he try harder tomorrow to find an owner or employee over there?

I think he plans to keep the quarters.

But here’s where I need some comments or advice from my fellow moms and other friends in the blogosphere…. Help a girl out, will ya?

What would you do?

 

Technorati Tags: children,single moms,morals,WWYD

It's Only Been Two Days... What?

It’s been only two full days of school and I am the one fed up with school already! My kids love their classes, I think. On the first day, Kass told me that fourth grade was going to be easy. Jas just said – “I signed up for soccer.” I think that means he likes it. He has also told me which nutritious bars and snack items I put in his lunch that his friends like, so that he can “trade” them off at school for “other” stuff. Good to know, thanks.  Nice.

The first night of course the homework was for parents as I found myself filling out thirty plus forms with identical information, name, address, phone, who to contact if, over and over and over again. I think it was almost 10pm when I finished. The second night we had to go back to Target to get “more” school supplies that were not on the original supplies list for my son….. Oh don’t get me started.

So by the time I got in bed on the second night of school, I was worn out. My children are faring well and enjoying being there, I am sure.  I am the one having to get used to this routine of early mornings and non-stop days where I end the evening with my head spinning and wondering what all did I “not” get done today.  It will get better.  It always does.

But, if you want to know “How’s ‘Back to school week' going?”

Ask me next week.

Trust me.

 

 

Technorati Tags: School days,single moms,children,mornings

Over 1100 Miles Later, We're BACK....

I am so proud... I drove over one thousand, one hundred miles since last Monday morning!  A true record for me.  Perhaps I can even go so far as to say a benchmark in my solomomdom, because one of the hurdles I had to get over being a single parent was traveling alone with the kids.  I had never done it prior to the separation and it was awkward at first.  Now having done it for years and especially with this last week's mileage under my belt, I think I consider myself a pro.  I don't love to drive - but I do love road trips so we took two on our last week's vacation. One to Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg, TN during the first part of the week and then we drove down to Virginia Beach to camp out for the last part of the week and Labor day weekend. 

Now I have missed you guys and my blog... but 10 days away from your world is definitely highly recommended by me.  Some time away from the computer/Internet, phones, and television is worth it and I even put my watch away during the last few days of my trip while we camped at Virginia Beach!  I have sooooo much to share, some funny anecdotes and much more later this week.  But for today, I am playing catchup in a lot of ways so I wanted to post a few pictures to give you some idea of our week long journey.   

Here are a couple from Wonder Works in Pigeon Forge.  This is an interactive museum.  My kids love this place and so do I - but plan to spend hours when you go- because that's how long you will want to be there..with so much to do.

 

And here they are at the top of the oldest light house on the East Coast.  This one is no longer used and sits on the Army base at Virginia Beach.  You can see the modern day replacement in the background out the window.

 

 

 

 

And here is the ocean from my spot... sitting on the sand... loving every moment in the sun... watching the waves roll in.... aaaah nice.

 

 

 

 

 

Technorati Tags: vacation,single moms,travel,children