Single Mom, Fourteen... Again

For a few moments Saturday, I was fourteen again, or sixteen..... Anyways, I was back in the eighties standing in an arcade and playing this.  My fav video arcade game back then was Ms. Pacman.  When we stepped into the arcade at a wonderful family entertainment center, Bridgewater Plaza at Smith Mountain Lake, I was thrilled to find the huge box with what could have been my handprint on the joystick.  There on the glass, just like I remembered, was this image.  At games costing only 2 nickels each, I couldn't resist and played game after game after game.

Mr. M. and I decided to take his boys (my kiddos were gone with their dad) to the lake and check out a few spots and I remembered this place from when my kiddos were smaller.  We stopped here and it took me back in time, way back in time.  Not that I long to be fourteen again... not by far would I relive those teen years.  But to catch a glimpse of those free-spirited days of no worries, no bills, and just time on my hands was welcomed as I gripped the joystick... and played like it was nineteen-eighty-something... again.

Mr. M's fav game was Centipede. And don't you know that game was right next to mine.  See his reflection in the glass?  So there we stood like two teenagers, getting frustrated and flustered by the minute as we played game after game.... but it was fun.

And Mr. M. got on the high score list... Can you find him?

Find yourself... keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: arcades,video games,dating,children,activities,lake,Bridgewater Plaza,Smith Mountain Lake

 

While Driving With 1 Hand.....

I took this photo on the way to work this morning... yes while driving... but I did have one hand on the wheel and one eye on the road.... I promise!  It was a foggy morning and I couldn't resist snapping away at a few shots while driving through the neighborhoods. And to capture this.... worth the risk?

Here is one more from the set....

I was at least at a stop sign for this one!

Find yourself... keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: morning fog,photography,photographs,driving

Find Yourself...Keeping it Real

We went from this on Tuesday......... beautiful spring day with blue skies and temperatures close to 60....

To this on Wednesday....

Gray skies and rain, rain, rain along with temperatures that barely hit the low forties.  Even though it appears to be nightfall this is actually about 5:30pm, Wednesday.

Changing Skies

With the skies changing so drastically from one day to the next, I started thinking how our feelings can also change so rapidly and so drastically from one day to the next.  Just like the rain forming in clouds and pouring out on the city; circumstances around us can quickly form a cloud over our demeanor until it comes to the point of holding back no more and is released in manifested sadness.  When the final straw is laid the next word may become the beginning of our release; friends distracted from our usual closeness, or children saying a curt word or acting out can become the very point when you say "That's it!  I'm done."

Finding the Road to Balance Life's Journey

So many times I have gotten to that point over the years.  Being a parent is hard, being a single parent is harder.  Being a single parent while trying to nurture and build a new important relationship in your life is hardest.  Finding a balance between all of these demands on your time and energy is part of the journey.  Now I just have to bring myself back to that place somewhere in the middle of the road, where you do what you have to do but you still find a way to enjoy the journey.

 

My prayer:

Help me: Find that path, find that peace, find that sanity and find myself making the most of life while keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: rainy days,emotions,feelings,spring,changes,single parents,relationships,children,life's journey,peace

Talking In Your Sleep

  At 6:30am Monday morning I got out of bed and walked into Jas' room. 

 "Jas, How are you feeling?"  "Up to going to school?"

"School? No."

"Jas, Are you sure you don't feel any better?"

"Oh... school... yeah.... I'm going."

"So you are feeling better."

"We have a play... yeah... I'm going."

"A play?  Have I already paid for you to go?"

"Yeah"

"Ok, well you can lay there a little longer while I get ready and then I'll get you up."

I was surprised that he was feeling better after being so sick on Sunday, but  pleased he was willing to try to get back to school on Monday.  And he had this play to look forward to right?

After I finished getting ready and took Kass to school at 7:30, I walked back in the house and went into Jas' bedroom. 

"Get up Jas.  I'm back from taking Kass, you need to get ready so we can get you to school."

"But I'm not going.  I don't feel like going."

"Wait, you said you had a play and that you were going to school."

"Mom!... What play? ....We don't have plays!"

Running a fever, Jas ended up staying home that day as well as Tuesday trying to get over a virus that was going around.  But I thought about that conversation we had when he must have been talking in his sleep and had to share it.  He talks in his sleep from time to time.  And I love to engage him in conversations like that... you never know what he might come up with.  But that time he fooled me, because I didn't even know he was sleep-talking.  In fact, he may be having more conversations with me asleep than when he's awake!  No, not really, but they are more fun!

Find yourself... keeping it real.

photo credit: http://www.cmt.com/shared/media/images/amg_covers/200/dre100/e151/e15195ha6lq.jpg

Technorati Tags: sleeping,sleep-talking,talking in your sleep,conversations,children,school days

Storing Up Treasures, One Kind Act at a Time

During this time of economic "downturn" I want to find myself guilty of providing random acts of kindness for those around me, whether my coworkers, my neighbors, my dearest friends, my family, or my children; instead of dwelling on the gloom and doom that lingers in the news media.

This doesn't have to equate a lot of expense for these acts of kindness.  Many times it simply takes recognizing a need, and trying to fill it.  Your time is a valuable resource, but using your time to provide for others can result in a larger impact than even we can perceive.

For example, just this past weekend as I continue to "spring clean" in stages around the house, I accumulated another load to take to the Goodwill.  Those items are not only recycled (good for the environment) but also provide some additional inventory for this organization and for those who are employed by it.  I also offered to cut my sister's little girls hair.  We haven't managed to schedule a time to get together to do this, but she knows when it can be arranged, I will do that for all her girls, saving her the expense of getting it done elsewhere.  Sunday, Kass and I helped run the Girl Scout cookies booth at the mall, giving our time once again to a good cause for the Girl Scout troop. 

Now please understand, I don't list these activities to boast or ask for a pat on the back.  I think doing things like this should become second nature to us. But focusing on what good we can do in "our world" should become more important than focusing on the negatives that are exhausted in the media of late. 

I have also been on the receiving end of these random acts of kindness.  Remember this blog post where so many helped with my 1/2 bath remodel (still in progress)?  So I just want to continue to "give back" where I can, how about you?

Take a moment to list what act of kindness you can do, even the little things do matter.

Matthew 6:19-21. "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (NIV)

What is one thing you plan to do today to make a difference for another in your world?

Find yourself... keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: treasures,kindness,economy,economic downturn,doing good,helping others,find a need,donations,time

Photo Credit:  http://www.1-romantic-wedding.com/blog/pics/treasure-box.jpg

Disconnected or Distracted

Disconnected or Distracted

At the present, I have chosen for more than one reason not to have the Internet available at home.  My personal reasons include budgetary issues as well as dealing with how much time it can rob our family when we have limited hours in the evening to be together in the first place.   Now my kiddos still have access to the Internet, just the same, even though it's not within the four walls of our house.  My son has access at the library near his campus after school until I get off work each day.  My daughter comes to my office after school where she will occasionally spend her time on the web on sites like http://www.bratz.com or http://www.millsberry.com/... after she is finished her homework.

Where in the World Wide Web are They?

But many moms and dads alike do not have all the information they need when it comes to providing a safety-zone for their children online.  So if you have Internet and your kiddos are using it regularly, you should ask yourself the question, "Do you know where your kiddos are?"  ... on the world wide web that is....

Check out this website with some information on parenting controls while your kiddos are on the Internet: http://www.protectourkidsontheweb.com/ 

Surveys Revealed...

Here are a few facts I pulled from their information to share here:

Did you know…?

• …the Internet is mostly used by children to play online?
• …file-downloading is more common among boys than girls?
• …the main risks children associate with the Internet are viruses and hacking?
• …children tend to under-estimate the problem of pages with unwanted content (access to pornographic or violent pages)?
• …most children learn how to use the Internet on their own?
• …children between 9 and 10 connect an average of 3-4 times a week and many children between 12 and 14 use the Internet almost every day?
• …girls usually tend to use chats and instant messaging programs and send emails, while boys tend to play online and download files?
• …European children believe that what they learn at school regarding the Internet is very basic and that think they know more than their teachers?

Sources: PandaLabs, Panda Security, “Safer Internet for Children” report of the European Commission.

According to our local radio station (SunnyFM) additional survey findings include:

• 27% worry the most that children will give out personal information; and 17% rank viruses, worms and other malware as the most dangerous threat.
• 35% use parental controls to help protect their children from online threats.
• More than one-third of respondents say they monitor their children’s online activity all of the time; one-third monitor activity “sometimes” and one quarter never monitor their children’s online activities.
• Of the 58% of respondents who know their children chat online, 14% said they do not know who their child is talking to, and only 52% know what their child’s online username is.
• 7% say either they or their child have been a victim of an online attack

So don't let any of our kiddos be victims because of unawareness.  Stay on track and provide a safety-zone out there on the net.  Be "in the know" when it comes to their whereabouts and their personal perception of the web.

Share Parenting Control Tips

If you have some tips and tricks or special parenting control websites you would like to share... please share them in the comments below.

Find yourself... keeping it real.

Photo Credit:  http://partners.sympatico.msn.ca/content/feeds/videos/purevideo/entertainment_sv_20071206_Angry_German_Kid.jpg 

Technorati Tags: website safety,children on the web,parenting controls,monitoring internet usage,world wide web,surveys

Car Alarms and Plumbing 101 - new crash course

As I stood quietly speaking with the hardware store’s counter clerk my son comes racing down the steps into the plumbing department where I had found my way to get “the right part” to fit the new valves I purchased days earlier. I needed another part to fix the leaking hot and cold water source for the sink in the ½ bathroom renovation.

“Mom, your car alarm is going off!”

Interrupting my informative conversation about copper pipes, soldering, and how I needed a totally different valve than the ones I purchased, I turned toward the red-faced out of breath fourteen year old.

“Why is the car alarm going off?” I managed to ask calmly, or somewhat calmly as I roll my eyes at the counter clerk.

“I tried to unlock the door through the window that was down a little and when I opened the door, it started going off.”

I don’t say anything more. I just handed my fourteen year old the keys and hoped he could figure it out from there as I continued where I left off in the conversation with the counter clerk.

Plumbing 101

After a detailed explanation of why my recent purchase wasn’t going to work, not without a great deal more work than what I nor Mr. M. wanted to encounter with soldering copper pipes and what not; he told me about a different kind of valve with a washer inside that would fit the pipe and screw into the sink’s water line without any additional effort. Bingo! Little effort is just what the doctor ordered. So the plumbing department guy handed me a valve, then asked do you want a 90 degree valve? "Sure," I said as if I understood what that meant. “That way when it goes in to the pipe the connection for the water line is going in the direction of the sink,” he said. That made sense to me – and so he handed me two of the 90 degree valves which I paid for and told the lady I knew I would be back. (I always have to go back for something during these house projects.)

Car Alarms 101

Heading outside to go home with my purchase, my son explained he had someone help him get the alarm to stop and went into an overly complex explanation of how the alarm went off in the first place, so I could learn something he said. My brain was at overload with my plumbing 101 lesson inside the hardware store. I don’t think I caught any of the enlightening information he was sharing about the car alarm.  But the words, "I wanted a penny", "the car was locked", and "I thought I could get in through the window" were mixed in with the explanation.

After Mr. M. arrived at my house, I showed him my purchase and began to explain exactly why they convinced me I had to purchase these different valves. As I explained how the newly purchased valves worked, I noticed the piece that would clamp onto the copper pipe in the fitting wasn’t there. Taking a closer look Mr. M. noticed the two 90 degree valves I purchased were for iron, NOT COPPER. So when the clerk went back to get the 90 degree style of the same valves he had picked up ones for iron pipes (instead of copper)and didn’t realize it. Fifteen minutes till closing time, we head back to the store, and get the right parts. (I told them I’d be back.)

To Leak or Not to Leak

And it’s fixed. The parts worked just like the clerk said they would. Now I will just have to return the other valves I bought a few days ago and get my money back on them; but for now my sink is working and so far – NO LEAKS!

Sanity is on the verge of being questioned and nerve pills are on the shopping list, but leaks – I have no leaks… for now!

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit:  http://masoodmemon.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/water_drip-w.jpg

Technorati Tags: plumbing,house projects,dating,children,relationships,sanity,sinks,car alarms,fourteen year olds

He's the One

The ONE?

Here is my recollection of a scene that played out Monday night as Mr. M. and I picked up Kass from her girl scouts meeting.

Kass says ..."Mom, 'S' was crying when I got to Girl Scouts tonight.  Guess why, mom, guess." 

"I don't know, Kass.  Why was she crying?" 

"I wanted you to guess.  But 'N' broke up with her." 

"He did?"

"Yes, they had an argument.  She called him to tell him she was sorry for something she said and he told her he couldn't deal with it anymore.  He wanted to break up." 

"Well I am sure she was upset."

"Yes she was very upset.  See, she thought he was 'the one.'"

Ok, this is where I looked over to Mr. M. and halfway smiled and got this puzzled look on my face.  "The one!"  You see, 'S' that Kass was referring to is... 10 years old!  So my response to Kass at this point of the story was...

"The one?  What do you mean 'the one?'"

"You know, the one.  She thought he was the one for her now that would last for a long while."

"Oh, ok. Well I don't think you need to worry about boyfriends right now or anytime soon," as I thought to myself... yeah like until you are 30!

Because what was I supposed to say?

Find yourself... keeping it real.

Photo Credit:  http://blog.peoplenewspapers.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/girl-crying_l.jpg

Technorati Tags: young,boyfriends,girl scouts,girls,girlfriends,dating

From Mr. M.

Ok, as promised, here you can see the necklace he gave me for my birthday on Sunday.  The really cool thing about this is..... not that it's a Half Persian Loop made from rings that are 78% silver and 22% copper.  Although it's part of what I am learning about jewelry that is cool. But the really cool thing about this necklace..... is that Mr. M. made it for me, himself.  He enjoys making jewelry and it's his hobby. 

But what I am trying to figure out is.... with us spending soooo much time together lately, when did he find the time?

Find yourself... keeping it real.

Photo Credit:  Kris took the photo with my Kodak c743.

Technorati Tags: jewelry,silver,copper,rings,loops,half Persian,relationships,birthdays

a Work in Progress....

 

WORK WORK WORK

Well it has a long way to go..... but starting Thursday of last week, Mr. M. and I worked on taking out the old commode and the old sink from my half-bath to start a semi-remodeling job.  After taking them out we also decided to take down a couple walls and of course the floor in the process.  The first couple pics above are after they were removed, the unfinished look of the room.  Friday I picked up some lumber and a mirror and cabinet from my good friend Keith. He had these leftover from some of his own projects and offered them to me.  Nice.  I appreciated his generosity.  Saturday another good friend, Brooks arrived at 10:30 am and we began the day of boxing in the electrical units, putting up drywall, and putting in the new commode and pedestal sink.  It was quite eventful with three different trips to the hardware store, but it was also quite productive.

THANKS EVERYBODY

We do still have a ways to go to get this where I want it to be... but it's in process and I can't wait to show you the finished room.  Thanks to Mr. M., Brooks, and Keith for everything each of them did so far. 

Leaks in the forecast

Mr. M. and I will be working on the newly found leaky water valve leading to the sink soon; looks like the valves for hot and cold will have to be replaced so that is the next step in the process.  Trying to put in something new at my older home always leads to a leaky pipe or valve somewhere, right?  Remember the ice maker line when I got the new refrigerator?

Well we have our work cut out for us... for a while... and Mr. M. did ask remember? 

A Day for Play

Oh and the last few days have not been all work and no play.  We (Mr. M. and I) did manage to take the day Sunday (my birthday), the foggy, rainy day that it was and hang out with no work on the agenda.  We ended up driving to our spot and I took a few more photographs.  Later he placed my birthday gift around my neck.  I will take a pic of that and share it with you soon, I promise.

Find yourself... keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: bathroom remodel,house projects,star,mill mountain,birthdays,friendships

Don’t Pinch Me

“I had a great evening,” he said as we were saying our goodbyes that night. I smiled. I couldn’t believe Mr. M.’s idea of a good evening included the following:

 

• Tacos for dinner
• A trip to Home Depot near my house where they didn’t have the very items we needed even though we found them at a different Home Depot the day before. So we had to improvise which ended up taking an hour at the store.
• Fixing the rails down my front steps, in the dark, with the assistance of a fourteen year old, who, did I mention, has the attention span of a gnat...
• Listening to me reprimand each of my kiddos about an attitude or disobedience.
• Tearing my vacuum apart when it started making a loud grinding noise and helping me fix the problem.
• Hanging up a marker board in my daughter’s room, as we females tried to help him eyeball if it was level or not. (Move it down, no up, on the left side, ok right there, nope…)

Yes that all happened in one night.  I still find myself wondering if this is all a dream. Just don’t pinch me, in case it is.

Find yourself… keeping it real

Photo Credit:  http://img2.timeinc.net/health/images/healthy-diet/fat-pinch-belly-200.jpg

List The Way To My Heart

Mr. M. said to me “Can you make a list of the things that you need to do around your house? Then we can prioritize them.”

Does he know who he’s talking to? Can I make a list? Does the sun rise every morning?

I not only have a list started, I’m willing to alphabetize it, categorize it, and even synchronize it.

How did he know this would be the way to my heart?

Above is Mr. M. doing one of those odd jobs I had on the list of to-do's (and he agreed this one was a priority). Jas is working with him and it was a joy to watch them both working together.  I didn't even realize how much Mr. M.'s investment in me and my world was going to affect me.  His consistency with not only wanting to be a part of my world but also helping me with all the tasks I have to do in my world has built such an amazing foundation for our relationship.  He said, "I don't know how you do everything, when you have the house, two kids, and a full-time job."  I'm starting to wonder how I did keep up, before he came along. 

My kiddos get along great with him.

His interest and investment has also been building a relationship with my children. My children are my treasures, as you well know. And so far they get along great with Mr. M. which means more to me than I can express.  If he can teach my fourteen year old son a little something about tools in the process, all the better!

Find yourself…keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: jobs,to-do list,relationships,children,dating,dating single moms,tools

FINALLY!

This weekend I got some needed downtime, some me-time. As you recall from my last weekend, there wasn’t a moment’s rest; so rest was not only welcomed it was warranted. The kiddos were off with their dad and Mr. M. was going to spend some quality time with his boys. Saturday morning I read more on my book club book, Oceans Apart and cleaned house. I even got started on my spring cleaning. My sister came by that afternoon and between chatting and her dropping off some things she was trying to clean out of our mom’s stuff she also picked up her items from our aunt that had just passed away December of last year.

Saturday was productive and we ended up going over to the antique mall nearby. Yes, even though I was trying to clean out the clutter, I ended up with a couple purchases I couldn’t pass up. One is a secret because it is a birthday present for a friend of mine and the other matches my dining room perfectly and was such a cute retro set… I couldn’t resist!

Sunday when I woke up there were flurries coming down, just enough to tease us into thinking we would get snow. At least, I thought it was a tease. After our last disappointing snow day-not happening, I was not getting my hopes up.

I went to church that morning and enjoyed the sermon on "listening to God" and "hearing His guiding voice." I prayed back at my seat that he would guide me on my newly developing journey.

As I left church the snow continued to blow and stick to the grass a little. Could it be? Were we going to finally get our real snow, our first one on March1?

We did. I got my snow day on Monday after all! Here are a few photos Mr. M. and I took Sunday afternoon before it got worse on the parkway. We of course had to make a trek up to “our spot” at the star as Mr. M. now fondly refers to it.

Enjoy.

You have to LOVE a SNOW day!

Photo Credits:  This time, they're all mine!

Find yourself... keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: snow,snow day,photography,photos of snow,snow scene,pictures of snow,retro items,me-time,spring cleaning