The Weekend was Full, Harmonious, and Peaceful?

Friday night, the kiddos came home.... and right off the bat, Kass asked if she could have one of her best friends stay the night.  E came over and the rest of the night we made a "dance video" that turned out a little too dark to post, a makeover by both of them on me (no you won't be seeing those pictures), and we ended up walking down to a "cruizin" they held on the main strip near our house with the girls and my son Jas.  To say the least it was a full night.

This was Jason's fav car that night that I attempted to catch on camera.

Saturday I slept in and then had to quickly shower and get ready because Mr. M. and I had made plans to have the kiddos all eat at my house for lunch and then we were taking everyone to see the new "Transformer's" movie for the 1:30 PM show time.  Even though I didn't get up till 10:30 AM I was somehow able to be ready and grilling the hamburgers by 11:30 AM that morning.  Kudos to me!

After the movie we ended up at Mr. M.'s house for an afternoon of bocce ball and table tennis.  We had a great time and the kiddos (all four of them) played great together... I loved seeing the whole gang having such a good time, just hanging out and it didn't even include Television or Video games!

Sunday afternoon, we ended up with more of the same but this time we had a couple of my kiddos' buddies from the neighborhood to join us and we went to a nearby park.  There after we all played more bocce ball, all the 'guys' played basketball and the girls ended up in the creek for most of the afternoon.  Here are a few shots:

A little action on the court... between Jas and Mr. M.'s oldest son.


Block it Mr. M.!   I loved catching them in the air.....

Below I caught them lined up.... for a cool photo.
 
Jas.... could you try that move one more time?  Did you learn that from another sport or dance class?  Just kidding.

The girls in the creek... along with Mr. M.'s youngest son... he would go back and forth from the ball game to the creek.  He wasn't sure which activity he wanted to do more.
At one point I wanted to capture a peaceful moment listening to the stream running on the rocks, so I took this video.  Can you hear the kiddos in the background?  So much for some peace and quiet, eh?

Find yourself... keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: parks,games,children,family fun,photography,videos

Sometimes Goodbye is a Second Chance

I have this friend....

Don't you love stories that start out that way?

But seriously, I do have a friend that is going through the initial proceedings of....divorce.  She has been separated for at least a year now, and she has not seen a "true" change on the part of her husband, so she decided to "turn the page" and "start the next chapter in her life," (if I may pull quotes from the recent Jon and Kate announcement).  My friend came to that same place in her life as Kate and wants to "move forward." 

So what's new about her situation?  You hear about this all the time, right? 

Well unique to my friend's case - but not so unique to me, is the fact that she is getting a divorce in a family who was raised to not BELIEVE in divorce.  So she has been dealing with all the ramifications of what her closest loved ones "think she should do" and how disappointed they are with her decision... instead of open arms of understanding and empathy for her having to take this course - this journey that she hadn't planned on when she walked down the aisle just a few short years ago.  Even though more than ever right now, whether you agree with her or not, she needs support and encouragement, not a sense of reprimand and disapproval.

So what can she do? 

My advice was take time out to consider her families thoughts, digest them, and then confront them.  I think they need to sit down and discuss it as a family giving them an opportunity to own up to their own feelings but then require they listen to her side of the story.  (Her family is defined as her mom, dad, sister and brother-in-law.  She has no children in this marriage.)  But she also has to give herself a chance to be emotional and share her heart, and not think of that as a sign of weakness.  I am hoping she will make an opportunity for this conversation to happen.  It will be a rough one, but I believe a necessary one in the cathartic process that needs to take place.

Any advice for this friend of mine as she deals with her family's disappointment in her big D?

Now I know I am keeping the details of how she came to this conclusion for her decision as well as the reasons behind their separation vague, but it is with reason.  She would want to remain anonymous... and right now the reasons aren't as relevant as the fact that she has taken a year to weigh out her options and consider the actions of her husband and this is the decision "she" made based upon what she has been through.  Only she knows what went on behind closed doors and what came to light in her situation as things were revealed in her marriage. So for that we have to trust her and her decision.  At least that is my opinion.

Just like the song says, "...sometimes goodbye IS a second chance," a second chance at living for her; and a second chance to prove "true change," for him.

Share your comments....

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Find yourself... keeping it real.

Photo Credit:  http://craigmod.com/print/madame_butterfly/

Technorati Tags: divorce,separation,relationships,families,suppport,encouragement

Preparing for Vacation on a Tight Budget

Today the kiddos come back home after being gone a week with their dad.  This week wasn't planned on the summer calendar but due to some other  reasons - their dad chose to have them this week instead of one of the planned weeks in August.  But it worked out fine.

And I have missed them!  I can't wait for them to get home tonight.  Hopefully they will feel like talking all about their week while they were gone and then I will wait to see if they notice the changes around the house with furniture that was moved.  Couple things I moved were the family computer and computer desk - they are no longer in my room, but are now in the dining room.  This was a good change.  One I know they will also appreciate; especially when Jas wants to show his friends a new game that only works on this newer computer - because he won't have to parade them through my room, (with all my personal stuff that is, at times, laying around in there).  So yes, it is a nice change, for lots of reasons.

We are planning our vacation the week of July 6.  Excitedly I have been getting a few things lately, preparing for the trip.  We also need to make lists of what we want to bring and then - scale it down; because we will be limited on space with six of us going.  Planning it and packing for it is part of the fun of vacation, don't you think? 

We are headed back down to Tennessee.  The kids love Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg... and we always have a great time.  Mr. M. and his boys have never been, so we will enjoy showing them around our fav spots in the area.

My personal checklist:

1. Dogs:  I have a friend to take care of the dogs while we are away. (check) 
2. Transportation:  I just had the autoshop check out the Infinity from top to bottom yesterday to write her off as ready for the trip. (check)
3. Accommodations:  Reservations are made at a wonderful resort with an indoor water park onsite. (check)
4. Luggage: Bought a fabric style luggage hatch to put on top of the rack on the vehicle.  Hoping that will hold plenty and be secure with the straps that come with it. (check)
5. Bills:   These are setup with online banking to automatically be paid (if due) while we are away. (check)
6. Emergencies: Plan to take our emergency first aid kit we made for our hiking trips and it's stocked with plenty of over-the-counter children's formula meds and adult meds as well as "off" spray and sunscreen. (check)  Plan to give our resort's phone number to family so they can reach us if necessary. (Still to do!)
7. Down Time Activities:  Games have been collected from friends, (THANKS SARAH) for any down time inside the condo.  (We also bought a new 1000 piece puzzle.) (check)
8. Toys:  Water toys are awaiting to be packed for the kiddos to use at the water park. (check)
9. Bathing Suits:  Several weeks ago I purchased Jas new swim trunks and my new swim suit.  (Kass will need a new one pretty quick, since she only has one that still fits.) (Still to do!)
10. Budget the Trip:  Mr. M. and I are planning to sit down one evening next week and work out a budget for all we want to do, so we can stick to it when we get there.  Also we will map out everything we want to do in Gatlinburg, since you park and walk  This way we can have a gameplan of what we want to see and where they are located - so we don't miss anything and know the best order to do them. (Still to do!  Make a note of this one, Mr. M.)
11. Pack:  Plans now are for me to pack on Friday, July 3, because I am off from work and so I can get everything together and then purge the unnecessary stuff at the same time. (Still to do!)

What's your plan for the summer? 

Any vacation time in the mix? 

Has this year been different because of economic conditions?

I always try to budget vacations, even when things aren't so tight... but this year we will plan down to the very penny of what we know we can afford so we can strictly stick to it while we are gone.

Any tips you can offer for saving money while vacationing? 

One thing we plan to do because we will have a kitchen and living area in the condo is we will prepare some meals and have stuff to make quick lunches where we are staying.  This will save us plenty because having six people dining out can add up quickly.  (Oh and don't get the wrong idea by us all staying in a condo.  Mr. M. and his boys will have a room of their own and I will also have a room just for me and the kids that are both separated from the living and kitchen area.... so... yeah.... no worries.... trust me.)  Splitting the cost of the condo also helped with our expenses.

Any items I missed on the checklist, that you try to do before leaving town?

Leave a comment or two below with your tips and thoughts.

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Find yourself... keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: vacation,budgets,family time,family fun,summer,economy

To All The Ones - Who've Never Been Before... Welcome!

I guess you haven't traveled in and out my door.... I am glad you came along.... I dedicate this....

Ok, I know, I know....enough of that... some of you won't even recognize my play on this old song... but either way...

Welcome to my blog, SOLO dot MOM!

Here I talk about my life as a single mom, dating, loving life, and taking care of my kiddos who mean the world to me and I truly consider to be my treasures... I hope you will browse through a few of my recent entries where my intent is to keep it real, through the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly.   You will find true stories of dating experiences over the past couple years, my current relationship with a man known as Mr. M., as well as moments of frustration as a single parent trying to do it all on my own... (with help from above, of course).  And yes, there are also some blog posts about my joys and successes... plus I even started doing some GIVEAWAYS!

Oh yeah, since I do love photography you will find I share some of my amateur photos with you occasionally as well.

RESOURCES you might find of interest are linked here. 

Some of my favorites blog posts are:

My Story, The Day My World Stood Still

The Joys of Dating

Secrets About Me

Love = Not Keeping Score

Mr. M. Took a Hike

A Day at the Zoo

Jas and the Dream Team

and a few more marked "favorites" on my index.

Well go ahead, sit back, and take a look around my blogspot, then read a few posts that might appear interesting to you....

And don't forget to follow me on twitter and subscribe by email or by rss feed/reader.

Thanks for stopping by.

Come again soon!

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Find yourself... keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: welcome,blogging,single moms dating,single parents

Find yourself... keeping it real.

Underage on MySpace

What are your thoughts of youngsters having MySpace pages?

My son "had" one.  I started him one over a year ago when he was thirteen, that I set up and planned to monitor.  He then had me to delete 'that one' because he made one on his own with a friend's help at the library.  Nice.

So every other month or so.... I would go on and look at his page.  (At least he befriended me, so I could view it.)  But to my surprise, during a recent visit... there were some "foul" words being used on some of his 'posters'/jokes he had on his page.  I didn't approve of certain things, so I asked him 'calmly' to take them off and I would be happy. 

(As most fourteen year old boys would) he got upset and said it was 'his space'.  I proceeded to explain to him that as his parent I have a right to monitor his "space" and that I could take action to delete the page if necessary with the 'MySpace' police. 

So I gave him another week. 

No change on his page. 

So with the help of MySpace, I had it deleted.

Was I too harsh?  Should I let him have "his space?"

I would love your feedback on this mean mom action.  I like to think I am the type of open minded parent that allows some liberties for the kids to enjoy... some privileges and some independence that they wouldn't have otherwise.  But then there are times like these when I have "put my foot" down because - I choose my battles and this was one of them. 

The page has been deleted by the very cooperative MySpace customer service for a few weeks now... and Jas didn't even notice until more than a month went by.  At least now I know it was of no real importance. Although when he realized what I did, he created a new page which I have set to my favorites so that I can monitor what is viewable... and so far he has kept it just as I would allow it, meaning I have no problem with it.  But I would still love to get your feedback on just how far you think parents should go when it comes to MySpace.  Because I am ready to have MySpace police step in again if need be.... as many times as necessary if he breaks the rules on what I would allow on the page.

Maybe the bigger issue here is the fact he would even want such things I disapprove of on the site to begin with.  Why he didn't want to remove the specific "funny" jokes from his earlier page is beyond me.  But I am hoping this is a stage.... and that it will be over soon.

TEENAGERS!

What do you think?

Find yourself... keeping it real.

Photo Credit:  Tom, CEO from Myspace: http://usatomorrownews.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/tom-myspace.jpg

Technorati Tags: teenage years,MySpace,internet,websites,boys,parenting teens

Last Week's Memorable Moment

Even though at one point last week I thought I was dying... I got over it and before I started feeling that bad I captured a few darling moments on the camera when I found this note at my office where Kass was hanging out with me for a few days.  She had made her own "mailbox" seen below and wanted to clarify to passersby by writing this note which she placed at the top of the stairs.

And here is her mailbox she made out of some empty boxes she found in our workroom.

Good thing the office was pretty empty that day.....

Nice imagination.

Find yourself... keeping it real.

The Joy of Wellness and Energy

I cannot express in words how good it feels to just feel better and 'like myself' again.  Not to bore you with all the details of the last four weeks, but if you have followed my blog you know after coming off the prednisone for the rash that I got sick with a bad sore throat.  After trying to get over that - I was still coughing and dragging, but appearing to get better when Jas came down with strep.  Afraid, if I didn't already have strep - I might get it from him, I asked my doc for an antibiotic, but he put me on something I had never tried (instead of the one I asked for because I knew my body could handle it.)

So while on the antibiotic I continued to get weaker, and became winded with every little task I tried to do... but kept pressing on.  As a mom - it's hard to find time to just 'stop.'

Thursday night last week, though, I felt so bad, so weak, and so out of breath, it scared me. Seriously, I was worried.  I was desperately asking my sister and other friends to pray for me.  I started thinking there might be something truly wrong with me.  And with this I had to take time out and missed a half day of work on Friday to try to muster enough energy to take a shower and get out of the house by lunch time to get in a few hours of work before going to the doctor.

Friday I went to the doctor and went through my story, explaining either something is seriously wrong with me or I am having a reaction to this antibiotic, which I had stopped taking as of that Thursday because I was concerned how it was making me feel.  They took blood to run some labs -basic labs and that's all that they could tell me.

Now after being off that antibiotic for three going on four days.... I feel so much better.... so much more like myself.... I am so grateful.  I didn't realize just how badly I felt till I started to feeling better over the last couple days.

But I am now back, energized and ready to tackle more house projects.

Mr. M. and I even moved furniture yesterday as I got the urge to change some rooms around and reorganize some more "stuff" I needed to go through.  So we were quite the busy little bees - and it felt great! Now that I am back to my old self and planning more projects... I am sure he may not be as pleased as I am that I have all this energy once again!

Find yourself... keeping it real.

Photo Credit: http://www.guaranteed-rankings.com/happy%20woman%203.jpg

The Day My World Stood Still

Several weeks back I was contacted by Jenay about writing "my story" as a single mom for her blog titled Single Parent Inspirations.  I tossed around the idea in my head after telling her yes, I would do it because I wanted to try to capture the essence without all the ugliness of how I became a single mom, while at the same time keeping it real.

Here is the post.....in it's entirety... but also take a minute to visit: Single Parent Inspirations.

That day, 6 years ago, I left the bondage of which I found myself a victim. I left the man whose love had turned into violent jealousy and possessiveness as I became his obsession. That day I became a single mom; even before the papers were signed for the final big D, I stepped out and took that leap… into singlemomhood. Ready or not, there I was.

Taking one step at a time during my journey that day I proceeded toward the magistrate to get my protective order. Going through the motions, but doing what I knew I finally had to do. Those steps turned into the journey that with each passing step, each passing day, led to my freedom. A freedom I know today, that makes me thank Jesus every time I remember what He released me from, and the peace He gave me as I struggled with the decision to leave a bad relationship, a bad marriage.

I consider myself to be a product of all my trials and tribulations as well as my successes. Stronger for the battles I have faced; patient for the times I waited on the Lord and endured; and wiser for the decisions I made, because some were not so wise. There were many times when life lessons came along that path, some I learned quickly, and others I am still learning over and over again, trying to understand. Realizing a simple life is a good life as we all should get back to basics and live within our means. Sacrificing to make that a reality, I sought to be debt free (other than a mortgage) and count that another success that wasn’t easy to achieve but doable with some determination and discipline.

My children are indeed my joy, my treasures, my reason I will never regret marrying their father. They do give me purpose and I want them to be faithful, driven, inspired individuals that remember their heritage but strive to change the world in their future.

Each passing day I try to take time to stop, look, and listen. To stop and realize the moment passing and the joy that can be found in it. To look and see how much my children especially are changing right in front of my eyes; and to listen to the laughter, the voices, the heartbeat of those around me…. so I don’t miss it. Holding them all in my heart so that I may someday pull those memories back out…caressing them as I relive them when I am older and my children are off in their newly created worlds, living life, and changing the world.

As a single mom… looking back from where I was… to where I am today… I am grateful for the blessings and grateful for the peace. Jesus helped me take those necessary steps that day, and continued to walk with me as I took one step at a time marking my new life… as a single mom. And this single mom is happy, enjoying life while raising two children, working a full-time job for a non-profit organization, dating again, and maintaining a house – making it a home. Sometimes it takes sacrifice… but it’s so worth it.

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Find yourself... keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: divorce,single parents,peace,new life,freedom

The Stresses of Raising a 14 Year Old

  

Stressed.

Word for the day, today... is stressed.  You know Jas is just getting over strep, right and that he will be starting Governor's school in the fall, right?

Meanwhile, (and yes he is feeling better) we get a letter from his upcoming Physics teacher from GS and he has a summer assignment!  A lengthy one.

No big deal, right?  He has all summer.

But he doesn't.... He stays almost the entire month of August with his dad. (Mind you he will not get anything productive/school related work done while there....since his dad is not exactly encouraging the whole GS thing anyway.)  And we go on vacation on July 6 for a week.  So he has exactly two weeks left in this month and three weeks after our vacation left in July.  So he needs to get busy, right?

Well, that's how I would logically consider the calendar.... but he (Jas) is having a hard time buckling down to do research and get this project behind him... because he just finished school!

We are emailing a few ideas back to the Physics teacher... and hoping we are at least getting him started on the right track.

Pray I don't pull my hair out.... or his hair out... in the process.

Oh the joys.... GS has already begun.... and it's not even September yet!

Don't you love how I can go from being totally elated to being totally stressed in one week!?

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Find yourself... keeping it real.

photo credit: http://gain11.com/Portals/0/Images/Woman%20Pulliing%20Hair%20Out.jpg

Technorati Tags: teenage years,single moms

Positively

I love a rainy day.  I love a rainy day.  I love a rainy day.

Nope it didn't work.....

It's positively the rainiest year ever here in our valley.  It's rained all week and the forecast calls for two days of sunshine Friday and Saturday... with more rain on the way right after that....

I'm so glad.

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Find yourself... keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: rainy days,photography

Awards, Grades, and A’s Oh My

I sat in the auditorium holding my camera in my lap and listening as they called out names of certificate recipients. Kass had received a couple of certificates so far during her awards assembly, one for math achievement and another one. Now her teacher was announcing the recipients of honor roll. “I have three that received ‘honor-roll,’” he said. The first name he announced was one of Kass’ best friends, but she was absent today. The next name I didn’t recognize as I listened for the third name, thinking it would be Kass…. But… it wasn’t. I was shocked. I started wracking my brain… when did she make a ‘c’?

Then he started again: “This next student made straight A’s not only for the year in her regular courses but made straight A’s all year in her extra course that only a few were selected to take: Spanish.” Then, he said her name.

I was so elated. I couldn’t help but react so I stood up on my feet and started taking pictures of her as she walked up the aisle to receive her award. I didn’t squeal or scream out… but under my breath I did mutter… “You go girl” and “That’s my girl!” I felt bad that I was being “silly” over the excitement of her achievement as I sat there with two other moms I knew well, wondering what they must have thought of my reaction. But I was enjoying the moment as pride for my daughter swelled within me.

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Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit:  Kass' Spanish Teacher took this photo of her.

Technorati Tags: single moms,school days,grades,proud moms

unbelievable

Jas has strep throat. And now I wonder if I do since he has the same symptoms I had 2 weeks ago and I continue with a cough and the feeling of being run-down.  So now I have started on an antibiotic and yesterday... when we missed his graduation ceremony because he felt so bad... the doctor started him on an antibiotic.

I had written another post last night to put up this AM but when I got the call from the MD this AM that Jas indeed had a positive result come back on the overnight lab test for Strep... I decided to post this quick blurp.  (Since my post last night references that the initial testing for strep was negative.)

Here's a little info on prevention just thought I would share from http://kidshealth.org/parent/infections/lung/strep_throat.html#

To prevent your sick child from spreading strep throat to others in your home, keep his or her eating utensils, dishes, and drinking glasses separate from those that everyone else is using. Wash them in hot, soapy water after each use. Also, make sure your child doesn't share food, drinks, napkins, handkerchiefs, or towels with other family members.
Make sure your child covers his or her mouth and nose during a sneeze or a cough to prevent passing infectious fluid droplets to someone else. Also, throw out your child's toothbrush after the antibiotic treatment has been started and he or she is no longer contagious, and make sure your child uses a new one.

Yeah and don't you know my fourteen year old is going to be this courteous about trying not to spread his germs.

But we are going to separate his dishes and change out his toothbrush. 

And please please pray Kass doesn't get it!

Find yourself... keeping it real.

And the Winner is....

From my blog on FREEBIES the other day... I have drawn a name for a winner to receive the basket of goodies.  This is my first giveaway... so I was so excited.  And the winner is....

Momma Sunshine!

I will be contacting her by email soon to let me know where to ship their prize.  Check out her website when you get a minute or two.

.........................

Now in the meantime... catching you up on my world.... we have been moving Mr. M.

Oh and don't get excited... he is NOT moving in with me.... come on now... you know me better than that!

But he is moving... but thankfully not faraway. I know you were probably worried because of my constant previously known dilemma of the good guys always living far away...

No, he is settled on staying right here in our current home town... megalopolis of sorts.... for the time being anyway. 

Find yourself... keeping it real.

the joys of dating

JOYS OF DATING

We are dating. (Mr. M. and I)

We both have tight budgets.

We both have two kiddos.

So our dates end up being "outings" with all the kids as we do stuff together or the few and far between time we might have for just the two of us - we end up watching a video or heading over to Target.  Woohoo!

LOSING THE ROMANCE

Are we losing the romantic edge by not being as creative with our dating?  Is the relationship in danger because we don't get much time for just the two of us with four kiddos between us?

People like Jon and Kate lately in the news and other couples in my own personal world that are falling apart make me wonder with the "extra" responsibility kiddos bring to a relationship and when you throw in the fact it is a "new" relationship...how do we keep it intact?   Can couples attempting to blend families (and Jon and Kate aren't even blending... they chose to have multiples) survive the "dating" process?  I need some regained faith in the line of love and commitment.  Doesn't anyone stay together anymore?

DAILY LIVING DATING

Things really won't change when it comes to our responsibilities with our children... not for a long time.  And our budgets won't get any looser within the near future.... so our dating has been and will probably continue to be "daily living dating". So now the challenge remains... to become and continue to be creative with our dating life.

Single moms out there - dating and tending to children... what are some creative ways you liven up your dating life on a tight budget and when kiddos are involved?

In the past Mr. M. and I have done this:

1. took a walk at a park neither of us had been to in the area.

2. rented a video for the "whole crew" to watch a new family oriented movie.

3. went to the zoo.

4. turned off the television and just talked when we had quiet time after the kiddos are in bed.

5. took the kiddos fishing and hiking.

Don't you think as single moms we turn the whole dating thing into a realm open to new definitions?

Let me know what you think... single moms and single dads.

Find yourself... keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: love life,romance,dating,single moms dating,children,relationships,family time,economy

She Had a Blast... Then... Sick Happened

Well I had lots of plans for the weekend.  I was going to let the kids spend some time with friends Friday night, Saturday Kass was going to take a friend to the Girls Jamboree (an event at the state campus where I work)... and following that I was having the whole crew back at my house for water games and hotdogs and strawberry cake.  The whole crew was to be Mr. M. and his boys, my kiddos, my sister and her husband and three girls. 

But here's what happened.

 

 

Yes she will kill me for this one.... her and her nachos.

We got through with Jamboree and Kass - as you can see - had a wonderful time.   Then when I took her friend home... and got back home myself... I was not only exhausted from the full day of fun but the tickle that started in my throat on Friday turned into a full-fledge soar throat that was throbbing and I ended up in the bed... achy, feverish and with no energy for a house full of guests.

After resting Saturday evening and all day Sunday... I am back on my feet.  I am also a little sad that I had to disappoint Mr. M. and my sister's family on Saturday... but what can you do, right?

Oh well, sometimes I try to plan toooooo much even for a busy bee like me.  But the weekend wasn't a total bomb. 

Just a quick reminder.... you have a couple more days before I draw a name on Freebies from comments.  So stop by there if you haven't yet.

Find yourself... keeping it real.