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Aug 15, 2008

Dating Again, Part2: How Many Lies Does it Take to Get to the Center of .....?

No it's not a typo.... and I'm not talking about a tootsie roll pop. Wish I was.

How many lies does it take to get to the center of the truth?

In my latest blogs I have been asking the questions about some concerns I had about my dating again, remember me?

But what has occurred over the last few days has become very interesting as this dating "scenario" continued to play out.

Where do I start....? I just began dating this guy, we’ll call “S” a little over a week ago. We went out twice and already had plans for a third and even a fourth date. I have mentioned him on my blog page when I was so glad I painted my toenails for him. Well after being inspired by another single mom and her finding out that her recent potential dating companion was listed on the national registered sex offenders list, I started investigating a little more information online because something wasn't adding up with "S."

Sparing you the whole story I will just say the good news is, "S" is not on the registered sex offenders list.  The bad news is, I found his high school info and realized he lied to me about his age - by about 6 or 8 years. Furthermore, when I confronted him - he still denied it, repeatedly - to the point that when he knew what I had found online he claimed it was someone else and insisted that he graduated in 87.  So then I asked - "Then what year were you born?" He answered 1972. So that means he graduated at the age of 15! Well that's when he just got off the phone because he realized he's terrible at lying and not so good at math either.

When he knew it was over, the next day, I texted him that it wasn't the age that mattered to me but  it was his dishonesty. Going back and forth he stated that he wonders if I could ever trust him again. It would take a great deal for me to trust him... but do I even give him that second chance?


Ms. Single Mama said...

Are you kidding me?

It seems in the single mom blogosphere that everyone is running into jerks lately - what gives?

Steering clear of the dating pool for a while because it must be something in the air. That sucks - I'm SORRY, hate hearing about stuff like this.

And yes, if he would have just been honest - it would have been fine.

a~ghost~in~paradise said...

I'd give him another chance, but I'd be up-front about how you feel about him lying. (And buy him a calculator. Just in case.)

Good luck.

Jim Everson said...

NO WAY! Like Ms Single Mama says, I know that there is a stormy Jerk Front moving through the single mom blogosphere right now. Just put on your rain coat and go about your business. A warming trend can't be far behind. There are honest guys out there and you deserve no less.

Heather @ Desperately Seeking Sanity said...

why would someone lie about his age? I can't wait to hear all about this at lunch tomorrow!

And yes, good news that he WAS NOT on the sex offender registry...:D

Trish said...

I can't believe this guy did that...I would have a really hard time trusting him again...a second chance would be good....but breaking trust right off the bat with something as non-trival as age - that would be a no-go for me. Sorry you had to deal with that.

dadshouse said...

Please don't get down on all guys just because one of them was bad. That's toxic thinking.

I've found a lot of people fudge their age online. Not just men, but women too. I hate it. I no longer online date.

You're right to be wary about this particular guy if he kept up the lie even after you caught him on it. But don't fall into the thinking of some of your readers who say the sky is falling and that all men dating single moms are jerks - we're not!

Katherine said...

Dadshouse, I won't write them all off as jerks just yet! :) I have had my share of them along the way though... noted in previous blogs of sort, and more online travesties in blog form are being edited for viewing soon. But even with that said, no I have met enough really great guys and single dads to know that there are still those with some character left... just wish one of them would move to Roanoke, LOL ;)

Single Mom Seeking said...

Clearly, this resonates with so many of us... I've had it happen to me, too. Good for you for standing up for honesty.

I agree that it's not a man-woman thing. People of both genders lie. Thankfully, there are some honest ones out there.

Rosemary said...

Great work.

Dating said...

I can't wait to hear all about this at lunch tomorrow!

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