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Jul 29, 2008

Move a Little Closer, Don’t be Shy!


All of the coolest available guys I’ve ever met live outside a sixty-mile radius.



What is it about meeting someone nearby? I am not the only one that has had this revelation. And it works the same for men searching for a compatible partner as well. I know because many great guys that I have met outside of the “geographically acceptable zone” are still in touch with me years after we have met… and they are still waiting to meet someone of interest that will not at the very least require a move on their part.

So here we sit, night after night, weekend after weekend, in our own little busy communities. We earnestly make every attempt to meet available singles, close to our own ages that can understand to some degree the world of single parenting. For others it’s true even when they are not single parents, just settled adults, hoping for a healthy mature relationship. There are some stories of success, where it finally happens, right?

I have tried the online dating and I have met friends of relatives trying to fix me up. For some, I know I am starting to sound like a broken record, but I think this is one point worth elaborating. Why does it have to be so difficult to meet a cool guy, someone you find an interest in, whether online or shopping for produce and have them say…”I do live around here.” Is it too much to ask?

Lets investigate this theory just a little more. Modern Single Mama’s blog elaborates on this theory with her own definition of the G.U.’s. Is it that geographically unavailable men are by nature more attractive? Would we be attracted to them if they were given notice at work that they had to move to your area because of a job change?

For me I have to say yes, at least for the ones I think of when I write this, I would still be attracted to them. Often I have been left hoping they could get a job change. But you see with the luck I have, I meet single guys who are professional divers or marine biologists (just to name two) and they have no choice but to work on the coast 4 to 5 hours away from me. These are true examples by the way. Then there are those examples of single dads that I have met, with obvious reasons why they can’t move.

So in this high-tech, virtual reality world we live in, what is our alternative to meeting geographically attractive men? Where are the single G.A.s?

I have been approached in retail stores before, but these guys weird me out. I try to keep an open mind but the whole time they are trying to strike up a conversation I am wondering what their virtual profile would say (as if that online profile is a sworn document or something). So am I the problem? Am I a product of the online dating abyss: the world where men and women alike think that there are so many choices, and that you are always one mouse-click away from “Mr. Right”. I hope I have learned from my experiences in this realm enough to know this is a fallacy and that online dating can become more of an addiction to the search than a means to an end.

So now comes the attempt to answer the very question, “Where are they?” No real answer yet; but I will keep you posted as I search the region and look for avenues for us single parents; or just plain singles in our thirties.

One organization found so far is Parents Without Partners. They meet one night a month for the Blue Ridge region. My plan is to go to their next meeting. What can it hurt?

What do you think?

1. Are singles more attracted to geographically unavailable men?

2. Do we tend to shy away from those who live nearby because of their potential for a serious relationship down the road?

3. Do you wonder what a person’s profile might say when you meet someone new in person?

4. Do you know of other organizations nation-wide that have area chapters for bringing singles together?


Heather @ Desperately Seeking Sanity said...

Another single mom blogger in Roanoke? I can't believe it! Ok, so now I know of 3 bloggers here.. we're growing!!! :D

Anna.m80parents said...

Hi! You're doing a great job of echoing the concerns and feelings of many single moms out there. Congratulations for making it onto AllTop!! Keep up the postings and we look forward to including more single moms in our wrapup of mom blogs. Anna @

single mommy said...

Girl..... A man... I can't even find other single moms to do playdates with around here!

julie said...

I think it's just another aspect of the "grass is always greener" theory.

You know, I haven't even considered dating outside of my geographical area... just because I didn't want to deal with any of the drama that comes with it. I'm not in a position to relocate and I wouldn't expect him to, either. That certainly puts some limits on the dating pool, but it sure makes it easier to get to know somebody when they're close.

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