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Jun 18, 2009

The Day My World Stood Still

Several weeks back I was contacted by Jenay about writing "my story" as a single mom for her blog titled .  I tossed around the idea in my head after telling her yes, I would do it because I wanted to try to capture the essence without all the ugliness of how I became a single mom, while at the same time keeping it real.

Here is the post.....in it's entirety... but also take a minute to visit:

That day, 6 years ago, I left the bondage of which I found myself a victim. I left the man whose love had turned into violent jealousy and possessiveness as I became his obsession. That day I became a single mom; even before the papers were signed for the final big D, I stepped out and took that leap… into singlemomhood. Ready or not, there I was.

Taking one step at a time during my journey that day I proceeded toward the magistrate to get my protective order. Going through the motions, but doing what I knew I finally had to do. Those steps turned into the journey that with each passing step, each passing day, led to my freedom. A freedom I know today, that makes me thank Jesus every time I remember what He released me from, and the peace He gave me as I struggled with the decision to leave a bad relationship, a bad marriage.

I consider myself to be a product of all my trials and tribulations as well as my successes. Stronger for the battles I have faced; patient for the times I waited on the Lord and endured; and wiser for the decisions I made, because some were not so wise. There were many times when life lessons came along that path, some I learned quickly, and others I am still learning over and over again, trying to understand. Realizing a simple life is a good life as we all should get back to basics and live within our means. Sacrificing to make that a reality, I sought to be debt free (other than a mortgage) and count that another success that wasn’t easy to achieve but doable with some determination and discipline.

My children are indeed my joy, my treasures, my reason I will never regret marrying their father. They do give me purpose and I want them to be faithful, driven, inspired individuals that remember their heritage but strive to change the world in their future.

Each passing day I try to take time to stop, look, and listen. To stop and realize the moment passing and the joy that can be found in it. To look and see how much my children especially are changing right in front of my eyes; and to listen to the laughter, the voices, the heartbeat of those around me…. s
o I don’t miss it. Holding them all in my heart so that I may someday pull those memories back out…caressing them as I relive them when I am older and my children are off in their newly created worlds, living life, and changing the world.

As a single mom… looking back from where I was… to where I am today… I am grateful for the blessings and grateful for the peace. Jesus helped me take those necessary steps that day, and continued to walk with me as I took one step at a time marking my new life… as a single mom. And this single mom is happy, enjoying life while raising two children, working a full-time job for a non-profit organization, dating again, and maintaining a house – making it a home. Sometimes it takes sacrifice… but it’s so worth it.

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Find yourself... keeping it real.

2 comments:

Single Mom Seeking said...

Bravo on writing such a brave, raw piece about your journey. Thanks for the inspiration.

desertmom said...

Your candid way of expressing yourself is inspiring. I really appreciate your desire to share your story with us.

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