First natural hair care and now natural makeup

You remember my big claims for soap nuts.  If not you need to read about them.  I still use them in this natural hair care journey I am on.... but now, I am mixing them with Shikakai and Amla and I like that combination EVEN BETTER!

Going "no-poo" has been quite the journey.  And I will share more about the ups and downs and the trials and ERRORS in another post.

But now I have started to branch out into replacing more and more products that I use on a daily basis.  Especially those products that I apply to my face and body.  With that I am venturing out into some DIY recipes for foundation and makeup.  I like some that I am experimenting with but I didn't want to have to purchase the "extra" natural chemicals that I needed for the 'sunscreen' factor.

So that led me to the big new find:  Joppa Minerals.  I just found out about them and researched their ingredients and I am impressed.  And with all their COLORS, I decided to purchase some samples to get me started and try out a few.

I can't wait for them to come in.  I am totally psyched too because they are $10 dollars cheaper than the SAME size in the Bare Escentuals brand (which I have heard bad things about).  So with them being a safer more natural product AND TEN DOLLARS CHEAPER for a full size- How can I go wrong!?

As soon as I can try out my samples, I will post my reviews.

To visit JOPPA MINERALS Click Here.

Till next time, my DIY friends......

Sanding the hardwoods...before and afters

Finally, we have finished sanding, cleaning and filling a few knot-holes in the hardwoods.

Chad did most of the work, but I helped him. Our labor of love on the big old house, Rue 17.

Here are some before and afters to this phase of the process.... (Tomorrow he starts the poly coats!)

BEFORE sanding:

AFTER sanding:

Stay tuned.... to see the FINISHED FLOORS soon.....

Mini DIY Mom

Home Alone – the kiddos

If you are considering leaving your child(ren) home alone for small periods of time or during the afternoon while you are still at work, you may be wondering: what are the rules? Are there laws dictating at what age a child can be left at home alone?

According to About.com’s article linked below, few states mandate a specific age for allowing parents to leave their child at home.  However, National SAFEKIDS Campaign recommends no child be left at home alone under the age of 12.  At the age of 12 other factors also have be considered to determine if your child is ready for this new realm of responsibility and safety issues.  The article, “When Can I Begin to Leave My Children Home Alone?” provides some guidelines to consider before taking this ‘leap of faith.’

• Is your child mature enough?
• Leave a phone number where you can be reached.
• Call and check in regularly
• Establish a routine for your child to check in with you too.
• Discuss expectations and what will be allowed while the child or children are home alone.  Is television permitted? Should homework be completed? Is the computer off limits?
• Explain how to handle emergencies. 

As a single parent, after school care can be an expensive budget item.  When your child nears the age of responsible independence, it’s tempting to urge them to spend this time at home and save on after-school care programs.  But make sure your child is comfortable with this new plan.  Ensure she feels confident with her ability to manage things on her own in your absence for those couple hours after school. Be sure to cover all the bases before making it a permanent solution.

We have been working on this plan in our home for a few weeks now that the school year is in full swing.  I can’t believe how much my kiddos have grown up.  They are becoming responsible young people right before my eyes.

What are some added tips you can share about leaving your tweens and teens at home alone?  Share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: home alone,children,childcare

Photo Credit: fanpop.com

My first time

“You take all the time you need.”

I heard these words and then was left alone, in the darkened room with candles lit and soft zen-like music playing.  Water was rushing through the fountain on the table, yet calming and relaxing. 

Only a few minutes passed and I was ready. 

For my first time.

My first time (you wonder)? oh for…my massage. (You weren’t thinking THAT were you? I have been married and have two kids, ya know.)

This wasn’t just any massage but a therapeutic massage.  I didn’t know what to expect.  And to my surprise, it included hot stones. I was giddy.  Hot stones!  They were wonderful.

What a Christmas present… that I finally found time to use in July.

As a single mom, living on a budget and cutting out most forms of luxury now that I’ve added braces to the list of monthly payments, I don’t get to indulge in things like this… ever.  It just isn’t part of my “allowance.” 

The kids like to eat.

They tend to eat a lot.

Everyday in fact.

So I began thinking on my drive home, how I might manage to save some money to splurge ‘once in a while’ and repeat this experience.  What could I remove from the weekly spending so that I could save up for a few months at a time to have enough for this little bit of pampering?

Some might buy Starbucks coffee once a week or buy sodas at work, and if so, you could cut those out.  But I don’t.  Some might choose not to get their nails done one month or two and use that manicure money.  But I don’t get my nails done professionally either. 

So where could I cut back?

I decided I can pack my lunch more often and save those dollars till I have enough to splurge on another one of those…

amazing…

relaxing…

me-time massages.

Yeah they’re worth a few more peanut butter and jelly sandwich lunches.

At least in my book.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

(And believe it or not, this isn’t a sponsored post, but my genuine enjoyment of a first-time experience.  I want my regular readers to know that I owe you more for your time of stopping by than so many sponsored posts.  I will be writing more from my heart, so stick around; do come back to hear more about me finding myself, over and over again.)

Photo Credit: Author: alma_sacra (photoXpress.com)

Technorati Tags: budgets,spa,massage,therapeutic,saving money

Have you been seeing someone else?

Well have you? That’s what I expected to hear today when I made a phone call.

It was the phone call to my hair stylist.  I haven’t been to see her in probably over nine months.  I had to “refine” my budget when Kassity got her braces, and that was one thing I could eliminate from the monthly or bi-monthly expenses.  Yes, my plan was to have my hair professionally done (instead of using the little boxes off the shelf and my own trimming shears) back during my birthday month.  But all I can say is where does the time, go? Seriously, March came and went and I missed any opportunity to get my hair professionally done as well as many of the things I had planned to do – just for me.

But my hairstylist, Veronica, didn’t even flinch; she didn’t even skip a beat when she heard my voice.  She really knows how to keep a relationship, don’t you think?  And then I asked if she could ‘work me in’ because I was hoping she could do my color and cut this weekend.  Not only did she work me in, but I went the same day (today, Friday) after work and got everything done –no questions asked!

You know how hair stylists can be, but not this one.  Ah, all is well and I explained to her all about Kassity’s braces and that my tight budget was the reason I hadn’t been to see her in a while (all without being asked).

So that was my Mother’s Day pampering excursion for the weekend:  a new hairstyle.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: hair styles,haircuts,Mothers Day,pampering,me-time,budgets

Save Money: Wash clothes with no detergent?

It’s not January (budget crunch month) but when Mr. M shared this video clip with me from Money Talks, I  was intrigued and had to share it with my readers.  According to tests referenced by www.MoneytalksNews.com you can actually get mildly soiled clothes clean by simply agitating them in a modern washing machine.  And if you do need soap – they have a recipe/formula for making your own that literally costs 2 pennies a load! Yeah, that’s right two cents!

Another tip for saving money with laundry they don’t mention (that I personally put into practice) is don’t wash every piece of clothing after just one wear.  Now this only works if you bathe daily. (I know you do, right?)  But think about it – if the jeans you just wore are not soiled – wear them two or three times before throwing them in the laundry.  Other dress slacks and tops can be done the same way if they don’t have dirt on them and no odor. 

So try one or two of these tips and start saving money – this week on laundry.

Here’s a link to go watch the video: Just click here.

I know at the very least I am going to start cutting back on the amount of detergent I measure out per load and start saving today.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: laundry,saving money,finances,budgets,videos,cutting costs,money talks news

Photo Credit: photoXpress.com \ Charles Jacques

A date night? – I’m floored

The floors are in process and looking lovely already.

Here is a snapshot of the space even without the extra coats of varnish/lacquer:

 

Even though I locked myself in my room while the guys worked on those floors that were grimy and stained as seen in this post.  At the end of the day, Mr. M showed up and we got to finally go on a long overdue date night.  His boys are away with their mom for the week and my kiddos are spending the rest of spring break with their dad.

It was raining, but who cares?  Where did we end up,you ask?  If you follow me on twitter you already know.  With both of our budgets on the tighter than tight side we decided to take a tour of the local Taubman Museum of Art.  They have free admission on Thursdays from 5-8pm.

And if you want to see photos from our trip over there last night, then you have to press this link here and read more about the visit on examiner.com.  Go ahead, I have  several pictures to share on that article in the slideshow at the bottom!

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: Taubman Museum of Art,Art Museums,art,economy,budgets,date nights,examiner.com,hardwood floors,refinishing hardwood,home improvement

When it comes to BUDGETS, keep it simple – Part 2

Early on I told you, my readers, I was going to have monthly missions for 2010.  January was about finances.  In sharing with you about budgets last week, I split up an article I wrote a year ago on the topic.  Last week and this week those two articles (Part 1 and 2) were highlighted on a lovely blog entitled, Integrated Mother.  The founder, Michele Dortch, wanted to use the material and helped me polish it up a bit.  I was very excited to get the articles featured.  Below is part 2 “When it comes to Budgets, keep it simple”  but I hope you will jump over to Integrated Mother to see it there as well as participate in comments and discussion.

When it comes to budgets, keep it simple

Last week I described the financial mindset you must have before setting a budget. Now it’s time to set  the budget! When you think about it, budgeting is simple. You have a set income and what you spend each month shouldn’t exceed that amount. Simple!

But for many, it’s not that simple so I’ve broken down the elements of a budget here with some suggestions for how to allocate your money. For the sake of this illustration, we’ll assume your income is $1,000 per month. Here is how I suggest allocating your expenses:

Charity – 10%: In my personal budget, I take 10% off the top and give it to my church, my charity of choice and something I believe in.

Mortgage/rent – 25%: This is the normally suggested range for housing expenses.

Food – 20%: Include the amount for groceries and prepared foods.

Transportation/gas – 11%: This is money spent for gas, tolls, and car payments. You might need to eliminate a car payment and drive an older, used vehicle.

Child care – 10% This can be expensive, but may be less if you solicit friends or family to help in this area.

Insurance – 2-3%: This includes auto, home, life, and health insurance premiums. Try to combine plans for auto and home to get the best rate.

Health care expenses – 2%: With children you’ll have the occasional co-pay for doctor’s visits as well as the medications (ask for generic)

Utilities – 5%: These differ by the season and/or usage, but an average monthly electric bill and water combined would be about 5%.

Phone, cable, Internet – 6%: Consolidate where possible. Cable is a luxury for many households, as is the Internet. Determine if these are some things you can afford.

Debt payments – 0%: These include credit cards, student loans, leased furniture payments, or anything you have purchased on credit. Being debt free would allow you to leave zero in this section.

Total fixed expenses = 92% of your budget, or $920 in this example.

Use the left-over 8% of your income for the “extras” like clothing, self-care, vacation, entertainment, dining out, home repairs, and landscape maintenance. And be sure that you don’t under-estimate the upkeep for your own home, if you aren’t renting. Prepare for these expenses – trust me. Also, the “extra” 8% should be used to reduce your debt if you have any.

Speaking of debt, you can probably tell that I’m a strong advocate for living within your means and removing “debt required living” from your lifestyle. Train yourself to live within your means and avoid pulling out your credit card for a quick fix. The stress of getting in over your head isn’t worth it.

I suggest having only one credit card for emergency purposes, and then cut up all others. To safeguard against impulse buying, give that one credit card to a friend or secure it in a safe place (not your wallet!) to help you be accountable to your promise not to use it except in the case of an emergency!

Remember, this is a bare bones, basic budget outline. You’ll need to customize it to your unique situation. The important part is to keep your expenses under control. At the end of the day, impulse buying and frivolous spending gets you more things (that you have to figure out how to store). Do things matter most?

———- By Katherine Shinault

Editor’s note: Any financial advice presented on this blog is for your personal information only and cannot substitute professional financial advice. Always seek advice of a competent financial advisor with any questions you may have regarding a financial matter.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit: PhotoXpress\Petro Feketa

Technorati Tags: budgets,finances,credit card debt,debt-free living,personal development,life goals,lifestyle

BUDGET Woes? Try this – Part One

Budgets:  They aren’t fun, but they are a necessity.  As a single mom, I’m the sole breadwinner and I’ve found there are two choices that let me successfully support myself while raising my children: 

1. I can sit around in self-pity, moaning and groaning about what I don’t have and wishing away life as I run up credit card debt; or
2. I can embrace my current financial status, appreciate it and create a financial strategy that lets me live well and get out of debt.

I choose the latter, and I hope you will too because it’s really the first step to create and keep a good budget.

Embrace where you are.

– Your life is perfect. That may be strange to hear if you’re in a stressful financial position. But if you have a job, then be grateful. If you are unemployed continue working towards the goal of getting a job. Be willing to accept something – even if it is not your dream job right at first. Getting a job somewhere will be better than no job and no income. Always be grateful for where you are and what you have in life. Focus on the positive aspects of your current circumstances and remember the glass is half full. Count your blessings which include more than just your income.

Appreciate what you have and enjoy it!

– You have a roof over your head. You have food to eat and provide for your family. Instead of buying things, pull out the things you already own; put them to use and enjoy them. These might include books, music, instruments, games, etc. that are collecting dust in your closet. Make use of the things you already own instead of mulling over a wish list of the ‘other’ things you want.

Don’t compare yourself (or your possessions) with others.

– A writer once said of her younger growing up years that she didn’t know how poor she was till she befriended a rich girl. If we stop comparing ourselves to others and what they have, we might find we don’t even miss those extra things. Things are not as fulfilling as the media makes them out to be. If you own “this must have item” it still won’t bring you true happiness.

Keep life simple so you can save – every penny counts.

– Even the smallest of luxuries can be cut back to make way for other uses like getting out of debt or saving for a rainy day. Small luxuries include specialized coffee drinks, soft drinks with lunch (get ice water), or vending machine items for snacks. Making even the smallest sacrifices, will allow you to put money left over toward reducing your debt or increasing savings.

Once you embrace your current financial position, appreciate what you have and are content with the here and now, it will be easier to stick to a budget and make it work. You may also be surprised at how leading a simple financial life leads to enjoying a richer life overall.

Stay tuned for Part 2 – The Simple Monthly Budget

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: budgets,contentment,finances,credit card debt,gratitude

Helping Haiti… It’s Not About Our Economy

Well I am working from home today because my oldest is sick with a stomach virus.  I went in to the office for a while this morning to pick up some work and make sure some projects would still get out in my absence and now I am settled back at home working on our office’s new redesigned website as we push towards a go-live date of February 1.

This week has been busy and I still need to prepare those posts on my article about creating your budget.  Still planning to get to that this weekend.  In the meantime… I wanted to post a few words about what was going on in my world. 

Sometimes getting so focused on my own world I lose sight of all that is in the news and the media.  But Haiti definitely got my attention as my heart went out to those people dealing with devastation around them at an extreme degree.  My prayers go out for them and my thoughts are with them as we plan at our state office for a coordinated effort to raise funds for sending containers of supplies to those in need.  There are plenty of ways you can donate and help, just confirm the source of help before simply giving your money, however.  If you follow my twitter or read Seth Godin’s blog yesterday you saw where he referenced a cool way to contribute while getting a T-shirt in the process encouraging others to give.  And obviously anything you give to www.redcross.org is going to a good resource to help out Haitians. 

Now talking about finances and staying on a budget, you may wonder, “How can you ask people to give?”  Well it is definitely up to your own heart and budget what you can give.  But remember sacrificing something you would have bought with that five dollars or 20 dollars… to give to those who need it following a devastating catastrophe will make you know you did something for the right reasons.  (Even if my son said… with the economy the way it is, President Obama is going to give how much from the U.S.?)  But we do have to step up and take care of our fellow man in time of need, don’t we?

Well Jas is up and moving around… so I probably once again need to focus on things closer to home…as in right here at home.  But leave me a comment and let me know you stopped by. 

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: Haiti,twitter,Seth Godin,donations

The Crunch

Well it’s January and the cold is in full swing here in Virginia.  The snow is still on the ground and the temperatures have been in the teens and low twenties for weeks.  We are still crunching in the snow that won’t melt away.  It finally made it to the thirties yesterday but by Friday it is supposed to hit 50… I’m calling it a heat wave!

January’s Focus – Money Crunch

If you remember from my monthly missions, January’s focus as we crunch in  the snow is on the “crunch” of finances.  I have so much to talk about in this area.  My brother who is dealing with his own drama and issues at the moment wants me to help him get on a budget and my sister’s husband mentioned Sunday they too would appreciate some guidance in this area.  I was flattered.  So this will be a resource at least for family if no one else can glean from it.  But I hope more of my readers can use this information and put it to work for them.

The first thing for anyone to do who has found themselves in a financial bind – is to admit they need to get their money under control.  Taking this step in realizing the need for the budget is huge.  Because the initial phase of cutting back for anyone is a little painful, so recognizing the larger picture here will help you endure the “cuts”. 

Getting the Household Onboard

Secondly, you need to get everyone in your household on board with the newly defined lifestyle that will be determined by your budget.  If there is a warning issued – Hey this is coming down the pike and you may not get to buy everything you have been used to in the past – it will help prevent potential surprises.  This is true for your children (my kiddos know what it means to live on a budget, trust me) and it is also true for your spouse.  If you both don’t see eye-to-eye on keeping a tight rein on the checkbook… it could mean friction, so have that conversation from the start.  (One advantage to being a single mom… I control the checkbook by myself.)  But couples can define these boundaries together as well and make it work.

Now if this is all brand new to you – you might ask, “How do I set up a budget?”

It’s not hard.  The main thing is that you add up all your income and then add up all your expenses for a month, lets say, and compare the two amounts.  The main thing you have to realize is remembering all those expenditures, and other possibilities – so you are prepared.  I outline how to set up these two lists in detail and at length in an article I wrote about budgets in 2008.  My plan is to break that down in parts to share here on my blog.

Please come back later this week and read my other posts about finances… as I make the attempt to at least help my brother and sister and their families set up a budget. 

Where is Your Heart?

There is a quote by Billy Graham, “Give me five minutes with a person's checkbook, and I will tell you where their heart is.”  How true, how true.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit: http://www.vintageadbrowser.com/

Technorati Tags: finances,budgets,single moms,money,couples

2010 – THE LIST: Monthly Missions

In contemplating what my list would be like for 2010 I tried to remember my list from 2009.  How much had I accomplished?

I actually read more than the three books outside of book club and was even approached to do reviews for some.  I tackled the half bath but not the main bath as planned.  The painting in the kitchen ended up being only a touchup job and redoing the countertop… does that count?  And I didn’t keep up with playing board games with the kiddos every week; just once in a while.  But I did start writing my book and I ended up buying my son’s laptop when he started high school.

Over the last few days I finished a book I won from www.Mothersclick.com: Up For Renewal by Cathy Alter.  The book was funny and interesting with it’s tongue in cheek approach to life lessons and self improvement tactics through advice she found in the latest popular magazines.  It was truly humorous and an enjoyable read.  She has quite the whimsy voice in her writing and a witty way of sharing her developing love story. 

She made a pact for 12 months (each devoted to one focus of her self-improvement agenda) that she would rely on magazines to offer her advice in each of the focuses for her life and personal development.  The first month after she began she devoted to ‘diet’ and the rest ranged from bettering her relationships to bettering herself and her sex-life.*

I loved the way she talks about what leads up to her year summation of turning her life over to magazines, through witty and comical reactions that I could see myself doing in some instances.  Finally she summarizes she was not only subscribing her life to magazines but was also subscribing to change and working through the transitions it required for her to get out of a bad relationship and even a rotten job… Cute, cute story – that gets you thinking about changes you might want to work on in your own life.

So after reading the book, even though I was entertained by her humor and her approach to personal development, it also got me thinking… for my list this coming new year I want to focus on just 12 to-do items and have one assigned to each month of the year: my monthly missions.  Now I won’t be listing improving my sex-life (since I don’t have a sex life, by choice while I am still single) nor will I be consulting the latest popular magazines for advice in accomplishing these missions; instead I may seek advice from close friends/mentors, my pastor, or my counselor.  I will also focus on researching for info from blogging communities and other website resources.  (If it’s on the web it has to be true and good advice, right? Just kidding.) 

In fact breaking this down into monthly missions may help me keep up with the list and actually fulfill the goals each month further serving as a measuring rod for accomplishing what I want to set out for myself as attainable in 2010, what do you think?

So here is what I came up with:

Personal Improvements List for 2010

January – Improve my financial discipline by reevaluating my budget, expenses, and other means of possible income.

February – Improve my one year relationship with Mr. M.  Plans are to work on this through counseling and self-awareness techniques.

March – Improve my personal appearance through nutrition and other beauty regimens. (I chose this for this month because it’s my birthday month and … it’s a big one this year!)

April – Improve my spiritual walk.  I want to focus on establishing a more disciplined daily personal devotions time.  And I still plan to read the devotional book, Love Dare (this serves two purposes).

May – Improve my relationship with my kiddos by finding ways to make our time together more qualitative through playing games and interacting more in conversation.

June – Increase my knowledge in an area of my choosing.  I may take a summer class or a seminar.

July – Improve my physical fitness.  I already have some ideas of what I need to put together for a routine and may start this before July but this will be the focus month.

August – Improve one room in the house through home improvement projects.  Plans are still to tackle that main bathroom. 

September – Improve my writing and blogging skills as well as networking.

October – Improve my skills on the job and proficiency in the office through administration.

November – Improve entertaining friends and family by planning early for the holidays and up and coming birthdays that are around the corner.

December – Improve my time management. (This is the most hectic time of the year for me personally, it seems.)

That’s my list for 2010. 

What all do you have on your list for 2010?

Find yourself… keeping it real.

*Let me just share my disclaimer here in the fact that even though I enjoyed the book, I don’t condone her choices in the level of intimacy she talks about in the book with her relationships.  I simply have learned that when I disagree with specific things in a book, I can still take away from the experience with other things that are appreciated and filter the rest.  So overall – it was a good read.

Photo Credit: http://gorx9395.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/mission.jpg

Technorati Tags: relationships,magazines,book review,Up For Renewal,Cathy Alter,Real Simple,subscriptions,new years,resolutions,life goals,personal development,self-improvement,writing,blogging

New Smile, Anyone?

1-800-DENTIST® My Smile Bites! $30,000 Smile Makeover Contest

Are you embarrassed to smile? Would a new smile change your life?

You know recently I have been going on and on about the big expense of getting braces put on Kass’ teeth.  So we all know how expensive dental work can be, right?

Well, 1-800-DENTIST® is giving one lucky winner an opportunity to have a smile that they are proud to show off!

Shoot a 1-2 minute video telling them what you want to fix about your smile. Show them your teeth. Video submissions are through November 10^th at 12N PST. Include details about how your smile affects the way you feel. Include your personal stories.

They truly want to change someone’s life.

To upload your video press this link: http://www.1800dentist.com/my-smile-bites

For Contest Rules: http://www.1800dentist.com/contest-rules

America will help choose the top contestants and 1-800-DENTIST® will select the winner.

Voting is begins November 10 at 12:01PST through December 1, 12:00PST

Winner will be announced December 15, 2009

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: dentistry,dental work,braces,smiles,1800dentist.com,contests

Boys and their Toys – What’s a Girl to do?

Who Are These Men?

Men are just little boys in big bodies playing with bigger more expensive toys.

If there is anything I have learned about the opposite sex, is this:  You like to play.

Now let me start right off the bat with this disclaimer.  I love guys…. I do… and I have dated a few over the years since the divorce prior to my serious relationship with Mr. M. and got to know others I wasn’t dating, plus there is this guy I call my older brother.  And this is meant with all due respect for you ‘ahem’ men… sincerely:  But every one of you… love to play. 

I don’t mean play games in relationships with your GF’s emotions… although some of you do.  That will have to be another post for another day, lol.

Playing With Complex Toys

But I mean you love: playing video games, mastering the latest techno gadgets; making complex paper airplanes that can fly a mile or model battleships with live ammo to compete with out in the river; buying an old car and restoring it to mint condition; building things with power tools; or riding on long boards, downhill, with no brakes. (And if you don’t know what that last one is, check out searching down hill long boards on YouTube… interesting.)

Simply put, you love to keep your hands and minds entertained… from cell phones and all their accessories to dirt bikes in the back woods.

I like to play too, mind you…. but not to the extent you guys do…

Does that mean men having their toys – is a bad thing? 

No.  That’s the short answer. 

But the longer synopsis is:  No, but we need you to understand how to keep balance in your perspective and make that balance a focused choice, instead of empty words.  The games and the playing (whether it’s with cars or boats or computers) shouldn’t take priority over work, for example, nor family, nor other responsibilities (and that includes paying your SO some much needed attention).  Setting aside designated time for “play-time” should be discussed  by both parties in the relationship. 

Playmates

And ladies, we need to participate in that allotted time for playing… whether it’s competing with the latest video game, or trying our hand at building a new battleship destroyer.  Maybe you don’t like battleship making – as much as the guy in your life enjoys it… but you like spending time with your guy, right?  So instead of fighting it – try to become his playmate and enjoy the ride.

--Click HERE to continue reading this Post

Be Bold – It’s Your Money

Is It Necessary?

In today’s economy, I’ve gotten tighter and tougher.  Tighter in my budget and tougher in how I spend my money.  As a single mom, I try to use logically thought-out spending plans instead of impulse buying. I also keep an eye on my budget when debating possibly adding expenses to it.  As an example, try answering these questions:

 

1. Do you really need this added expense? (Need verses Want)
2. Is there a cheaper yet trustworthy alternative? (Cost comparison)
3. What will you truly benefit from doing this – and from doing it right now? (Immediate need?)
4. Can it wait a few months to initiate the expense?
5. If the answer is “I need it right now”: How will you plan to modify your current budget to make allowance for this?  What will be eliminated? (Be specific)

Within Your Means

If it’s a necessary expense, I configure the best way to manage it (within my means).  Then it’s a matter of putting the strategy into action:  Set up the payment plan and eliminate the other expense(s) found in number 5.

I know you are getting tired of hearing about the braces but I think it is a good example of those larger expenses that can pop up and become a required budget modifier.  With modifying my budget, I cut out a few things to prepare for the down payment (i.e. eating out and unnecessary purchases) as well as cut some things from my monthly expenses to prepare for the on-going monthly payment.  But I knew I would be more comfortable if I could pay for the remaining balance due over 36 months instead of the 24 or 30 month options they gave me.  This would make the payment smaller and was especially viable since they were not going to charge me interest over the payment period.

Be Bold - Negotiate

Never underestimate negotiations.  Here is the conversation as it occurred Tuesday at the orthodontist:

Front Desk Receptionist:  Ma’am, we need to do some paperwork.

me:  Ok

FDR: How did you plan to pay for this, 24 month plan or 30?

me:  Oh, I would like to pay over 36 months, but I didn’t get a printout for that option.

FDR: We don’t offer a 36 month payment plan. How much do you plan to pay for the deposit?

me: I am paying down $1000 today and then needed to pay the balance over a 36 month plan.

FDR: We don’t normally do that.

me: Ok… but I have a tight budget… so I am going to need to pay the balance over 36 months.

FDR: I don’t know. We don’t normally do 36 months.

me: Yes…I understand… but I need to do this over 36 months.

(Note: Both of us are still being very calm and kind through all of this going back and forth.)

FDR: Well I will check with Dr. Ortho to see what he says.

me: Ok, thanks. (smiling)

(I wait at the desk while she goes to the back.)

FDR: Dr. Ortho said he would be glad to set up your payments for 36 months.

me: Thank you so much.

FDR:  You do realize you may still be paying after she is using only a retainer?

me: Yes, and if I can pay it off sooner, my game-plan is to do that.  The 36 month setup is to simply assist with my monthly expectations for payments.

********

And success! 

I knew they could not argue with my willingness to have the procedure done for what they quoted me in price… just because I simply wanted to cushion my own monthly budget expenses.  My next offer if she came back insisting on 30 months, was going to be pay less down and keep that other part of the deposit to assist my monthly payout amounts or to take Kass and her records to another orthodontist. 

Worth It

In today’s economy you must be bold when it comes to paying for services with businesses.  They need your business and if they are reputable they will work with customers that are simply being ethical but intend to pay overall.  If you have a thought-out negotiation that benefits both the seller and you-the payer, then ask.  If they don’t want to listen? They aren’t worth your time – or your money!

What do you think? 

Was my banter (though kind and mild) worth the end result? 

Are you being bold with your money?

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit: http://www.aisquared.com/email/images/static/money.jpg

Technorati Tags: budgets,economy,spending,within your means,orthodontists,braces,monthly budget

Preparing for Vacation on a Tight Budget

Today the kiddos come back home after being gone a week with their dad.  This week wasn't planned on the summer calendar but due to some other  reasons - their dad chose to have them this week instead of one of the planned weeks in August.  But it worked out fine.

And I have missed them!  I can't wait for them to get home tonight.  Hopefully they will feel like talking all about their week while they were gone and then I will wait to see if they notice the changes around the house with furniture that was moved.  Couple things I moved were the family computer and computer desk - they are no longer in my room, but are now in the dining room.  This was a good change.  One I know they will also appreciate; especially when Jas wants to show his friends a new game that only works on this newer computer - because he won't have to parade them through my room, (with all my personal stuff that is, at times, laying around in there).  So yes, it is a nice change, for lots of reasons.

We are planning our vacation the week of July 6.  Excitedly I have been getting a few things lately, preparing for the trip.  We also need to make lists of what we want to bring and then - scale it down; because we will be limited on space with six of us going.  Planning it and packing for it is part of the fun of vacation, don't you think? 

We are headed back down to Tennessee.  The kids love Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg... and we always have a great time.  Mr. M. and his boys have never been, so we will enjoy showing them around our fav spots in the area.

My personal checklist:

1. Dogs:  I have a friend to take care of the dogs while we are away. (check) 
2. Transportation:  I just had the autoshop check out the Infinity from top to bottom yesterday to write her off as ready for the trip. (check)
3. Accommodations:  Reservations are made at a wonderful resort with an indoor water park onsite. (check)
4. Luggage: Bought a fabric style luggage hatch to put on top of the rack on the vehicle.  Hoping that will hold plenty and be secure with the straps that come with it. (check)
5. Bills:   These are setup with online banking to automatically be paid (if due) while we are away. (check)
6. Emergencies: Plan to take our emergency first aid kit we made for our hiking trips and it's stocked with plenty of over-the-counter children's formula meds and adult meds as well as "off" spray and sunscreen. (check)  Plan to give our resort's phone number to family so they can reach us if necessary. (Still to do!)
7. Down Time Activities:  Games have been collected from friends, (THANKS SARAH) for any down time inside the condo.  (We also bought a new 1000 piece puzzle.) (check)
8. Toys:  Water toys are awaiting to be packed for the kiddos to use at the water park. (check)
9. Bathing Suits:  Several weeks ago I purchased Jas new swim trunks and my new swim suit.  (Kass will need a new one pretty quick, since she only has one that still fits.) (Still to do!)
10. Budget the Trip:  Mr. M. and I are planning to sit down one evening next week and work out a budget for all we want to do, so we can stick to it when we get there.  Also we will map out everything we want to do in Gatlinburg, since you park and walk  This way we can have a gameplan of what we want to see and where they are located - so we don't miss anything and know the best order to do them. (Still to do!  Make a note of this one, Mr. M.)
11. Pack:  Plans now are for me to pack on Friday, July 3, because I am off from work and so I can get everything together and then purge the unnecessary stuff at the same time. (Still to do!)

What's your plan for the summer? 

Any vacation time in the mix? 

Has this year been different because of economic conditions?

I always try to budget vacations, even when things aren't so tight... but this year we will plan down to the very penny of what we know we can afford so we can strictly stick to it while we are gone.

Any tips you can offer for saving money while vacationing? 

One thing we plan to do because we will have a kitchen and living area in the condo is we will prepare some meals and have stuff to make quick lunches where we are staying.  This will save us plenty because having six people dining out can add up quickly.  (Oh and don't get the wrong idea by us all staying in a condo.  Mr. M. and his boys will have a room of their own and I will also have a room just for me and the kids that are both separated from the living and kitchen area.... so... yeah.... no worries.... trust me.)  Splitting the cost of the condo also helped with our expenses.

Any items I missed on the checklist, that you try to do before leaving town?

Leave a comment or two below with your tips and thoughts.

***********************************

Find yourself... keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: vacation,budgets,family time,family fun,summer,economy

the joys of dating

JOYS OF DATING

We are dating. (Mr. M. and I)

We both have tight budgets.

We both have two kiddos.

So our dates end up being "outings" with all the kids as we do stuff together or the few and far between time we might have for just the two of us - we end up watching a video or heading over to Target.  Woohoo!

LOSING THE ROMANCE

Are we losing the romantic edge by not being as creative with our dating?  Is the relationship in danger because we don't get much time for just the two of us with four kiddos between us?

People like Jon and Kate lately in the news and other couples in my own personal world that are falling apart make me wonder with the "extra" responsibility kiddos bring to a relationship and when you throw in the fact it is a "new" relationship...how do we keep it intact?   Can couples attempting to blend families (and Jon and Kate aren't even blending... they chose to have multiples) survive the "dating" process?  I need some regained faith in the line of love and commitment.  Doesn't anyone stay together anymore?

DAILY LIVING DATING

Things really won't change when it comes to our responsibilities with our children... not for a long time.  And our budgets won't get any looser within the near future.... so our dating has been and will probably continue to be "daily living dating". So now the challenge remains... to become and continue to be creative with our dating life.

Single moms out there - dating and tending to children... what are some creative ways you liven up your dating life on a tight budget and when kiddos are involved?

In the past Mr. M. and I have done this:

1. took a walk at a park neither of us had been to in the area.

2. rented a video for the "whole crew" to watch a new family oriented movie.

3. went to the zoo.

4. turned off the television and just talked when we had quiet time after the kiddos are in bed.

5. took the kiddos fishing and hiking.

Don't you think as single moms we turn the whole dating thing into a realm open to new definitions?

Let me know what you think... single moms and single dads.

Find yourself... keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: love life,romance,dating,single moms dating,children,relationships,family time,economy

My Right Hand Ring

Well I confess, I have had in the back of my mind that I wanted to someday own a "right hand ring."  You single ladies know what I am talking about.  Now that I don't have my wedding set to adorn my hand... I normally don't wear rings.  Occasionally I will wear one of my Gramma's rings that I have, but not very often.  Of course, I can't even begin to afford a "true" right hand ring on my budget and with my priorities in place.  And I definitely don't want to fall victim to thinking that I need something that superficial so badly.  Seriously!

But, I still thought... some day... I will purchase my very own "right hand ring." 

Saturday Mr. M. and I went to the rock and mineral show at one of our local civic centers.  He loves stuff like that and for my perusal....they had jewelry.  So the garnet stone caught my eye and I browsed at each vendor... and came upon this:

It's a red garnet (reddish burgundy) set in sterling silver and with the vendor's 50% off that day it was only $20!  So even on my shoestring budget, I took the plunge and bought it. ('Major' investment...I know... but what can I say... I do try to stick my budget.)  It may not be diamonds... and I would never be able to afford a "true" right hand ring... but I am already enjoying it so this one is going to do me just fine.

What little thing have you done to treat yourself lately?

Find yourself... keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: jewelry,right hand ring,rings,budgets

Love = Not keeping Score

Sleepless Nights

Lately I have had some sleepless nights.... and you know me, I love my sleep.  But as my new relationship continues there have been things that I started thinking about "more" than I should.  No he is not cheating on me, nor am I being wooed by someone else; I just started "thinking" about everything too much.  We are pretty similar in the way we handle our personal finances, for the most part at least. But sometimes - little things that he would do that I didn't agree with... played on my mind and was in danger of becoming an issue... for me.

After analyzing this and finally just sitting down and discussing it with Mr. M., I realized: in the grand scheme of things I was making a mountain out of a molehill and... attempting to keep score.

Keeping Score

Sad that I have to admit I was trying to keep score; but looking back that is what I was doing.  And that's not love.  Keeping score and making sure you are getting just as much as you are giving in a relationship.... is not love... it's a business transaction.

Perhaps working in administration all of my adult life and now having been single for over 5 years, has made me programmed to handle every part of my life as a "transaction" instead of as a loving, giving relationship.  This is a relationship that I have said for some time, I was ready for and wanted to try having again.  So I need to work on that.

Slow to Speak

How grateful I am that I allowed myself time to let God speak to my heart and do some mental processing to work through my frustrations and my concerns before confronting all of my thoughts with Mr. M.  Then when I had worked through it and was ready, I talked with him.... and you would be proud.  It was a very calm, considerate, and soft "this is what I am thinking, and where I am concerned..." kind of talk.  He sat and listened... and didn't react.  Or I should say he didn't "overreact" as I have been so accustomed to in past relationships.  He just let me share my heart and then just as softly, just as calmly addressed those concerns. It was more in the short-term than in the long-term; but I commend him for the way this conversation... the first of its type for us... played out.

How Serious?

That night and that conversation was significant to me.... and made me know even more... this is serious... and I enjoy being in a relationship with Mr. M.  Time will tell where we are headed.  But for now... I am happy taking this journey of dating... with him one day at a time.

Find yourself... keeping it real.

Photo Credit:  http://www.electronic-scoreboard.com/images/5214.jpg

Technorati Tags: love life,relationships,love,single moms dating,conflict