The Proposal

We were supposed to be writing down our 2 year and our 5 year plans.  Mr. M didn’t want to give me his first, nor did I.  So we agreed.  Write them down and we would hand them to each other at the same time.

When you sit down with your significant other and talk about the future, it can be a happy time or a stressful time.  I wanted our discussions to be happy.  Plus I wanted to know what he was thinking now that we have been seeing each other over 18 months and counting.  I felt like we were getting to “idle” mode and I didn’t know what that meant.  I only dated my X for a collective six months before we were engaged. (Yeah long story there.)  So this long ongoing relationship was a record and we enjoy what we have, but I like to plan… you know me and my lists.

This is so different from when I was dating as a single mom.  I vividly remember those days; and you have read about them, many of them.  Back during that time I searched the web for other single moms dating.  We embraced each other over the vast network of interlocking technology and cabling and became “like sisters,” vicariously living through each other when one of us met someone new or when we were battling the online dating saga.  There were Ms. Single Mama, Single Mom Still Seeking, Desperately Seeking Sanity, and Modern Single Mom.  I say were because we have all moved on now to a new season of our relationships.  Modern Single Mom and Desperately Seeking are now married and blessed, while the other two are planning the big day, engaged. 

And me?

Well, a few nights ago I was holding a piece of paper folded with Mr. M’s 2-year and 5-year goals on it, focusing on our relationship and where it was heading from his perspective.  He was holding mine.  Quickly we opened them for our ‘reveal.’

I squealed.

Here’s what his said:

2 year plan – I want to see what you wrote first.

5 year plan – I want to continue to always be right.

Nice.

I had been had.

Mine of course broke down marriage, buying a house, getting my PMP certification, and preparing for my kids college days.

It all turned out ok, he finally filled out the real thing and listed marriage etc. but I told him I am still expecting an official proposal.  He smiled and said, “But you already asked me.”

Yeah, it doesn’t work that way.  He knows I am still waiting.

I will let you know when the big question gets popped.  Maybe next year, or the next… but I will be waiting.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

The party you were trying to reach was DISCONNECTED

I just got back from vacation and now I am in the process of getting my connection to the world back on the hook. 

The kiddos and I went to Pigeon Forge, TN.  Great place.  We go every summer.  Literally.  And with this trip I didn’t even tote the laptop with me.  I had the cell phone turned off most of the time we were there as well.  It was nice to just get away, to have fun, and completely disconnect from the rest of the world.  So I didn’t twitter, I didn’t check facebook and my emails piled up to about 700 messages in my personal gmail account alone.  I haven’t even looked at the office emails yet.  That will come Tuesday.

But for today I wanted to check back in, write a short blog, and see what I missed.  This is to let my friends and recent followers know that I am not ignoring your friend requests on facebook or your following alerts on Twitter.  No, it’s not that at all; I just didn’t see them until today.  I have only looked at or deleted 200 emails so far and with almost 500 more personal emails to sort through, some of your requests I haven’t even seen yet.

Mr. M and his boys came down and met us while we were gone so we kept the kiddos busy with fun stuff to do everyday and playing in the water park every night at the resort where we stayed.  There are lots of photographs I want to share and there’s definitely more to say about the week of events.

But in the short version: Yes, we had a blast.  I wish I could say I missed twitter, the blog, and facebook, oh my.  But taking a week away, completely away, was definitely worth it. 

In case you haven’t done so for awhile… you need to pull the plug, get off the hook, and give it a try.

Find yourself…keeping it real.

Photo Credit: PhotoXpress.com (Juan David Ferrando)

Life is Full as My Heart Swells

As it should be, life is full.  Right now my emotions are drained and my life feels scattered with so many changes going on in my world.  It’s nothing new, the only constant in life is change. But in the midst of all the change I do feel an unexplainable peace.

It’s been a long time since I just sat and wrote.  Wrote about everything on my heart, everything in my mind.  I have written some thoughts recently about my son, about a beautiful butterfly; but not about me so much.

I know I have been avoiding the realization of some special people moving out of my life.  People that over the last six years became like family, literally. They have been promoted in the organization I work for and for them that means moving out of state. And for me it means lots of new things, a new boss and new directors to get to know and work with.

As we clean up, clean out and organize file rooms and closet space, it’s all been good.  But the busyness hasn’t removed the emotional affects, only diverted it for a while.  Friday I finally faced the reality and let the tears flow, and then I couldn’t get them to stop (Just ask Mr. M).  But it’s Tuesday and I am better and looking forward to meeting the new boss in person tomorrow. 

It’s time for our new adventure to begin. It’s the next chapter and I’m anxious to turn this page and see where it’s headed.

Ready or not, Wednesday is coming!

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit:  photoXpress.com\ author: grekoff

My new favorite

I took about a dozen photographs of this gorgeous butterfly last weekend.  I had a hard time choosing a favorite.  There were a few great shots IMHO.  But this one is my current fave.

Later this week when I was reading a book I am currently using for personal devotions, I read this passage and it made me think of this beauty as well as reflect for a few moments:

…If we look closely at the workings of creation, we find that God nearly always works through process.  Think of it.  First there is a seed, then a sprout, then a blossom, and finally fruit.  God does not begin with a butterfly, but with a larva that becomes a chrysalis and finally a creature with wings.  Neither does God speak a star into existence, but sends dust floating into space, then interstellar gas that slowly heats up, and eons later a star is formed.  Perhaps most mysterious of all is the unfolding process of ovum, fetus, baby, child, adolescent, adult.  The universe is designed to move stage by stage, from incompletion to completion.  Now why should we suppose that God has designed the heart any differently than the rest of creation?… (pp. 69-70, Firstlight, The Early Inspirational Writings of Sue Monk Kidd)

The heart goes through stages just like the butterfly.  It is a process, it takes time.  I’m currently trying to be more aware of the stage of my heart.

Where is your heart? What stage or level in the process of becoming… more compassionate, more aware, more tender?

Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit:  Katherine Shinault, SOLO dot MOM (http://kitkat4real.blogspot.com)

Technorati Tags: relationships,personal development,photography,photos,nature,butterflies,butterfly,metamorphosis,devotions,God's love,God's creation