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Jul 30, 2009

dealing with disappointments

If you have went through the big D (and I don't mean Dallas), then you know how it can be a real court battle of fight after fight.  This is especially true when it comes to how much time you get to spend with the children.  Mr. M. had another custody hearing recently and the verdict was in favor of the mother, even though the children's law guardian encouraged  extra days with their father. 

When things don't go your way and you were hoping so hard and praying with all your might, you do - at times - feel like - giving up.  Giving up on the battle and giving up on your faith. 

Why doesn't God look down and just straighten all this out? 

He can, but many times I've witnessed He doesn't do it the way we want or in the timing we want.  It's not that God doesn't care or that we are just a bunch of ants running around and He is up there watching us in our own frivolous nature.  It's just that this is par for the course when it comes to divorce.  It can get ugly and it is full of disappointments. Unless the mother is a drug dealing addict drunk on the street corner every night, most judges are not going to pull kids away from time with their moms even if their dads are upright citizens and great mentors.  I'm not saying this is right - I'm just saying what I have witnessed with other friends dealing with custody battles and again here with Mr. M.

It goes without saying, there will be many times we will feel major disappointment. We will feel like God let us down.  But remember, God isn't doing this to us.  The situation of divorce, in this case, is the culprit... and the other parties (who have a free will) that are being difficult, not God.   In fact, God is the One who brings us peace and serenity, if we let Him. 

Let me just say I have witnessed personally some divine miracles.  So I know he can intervene.... from healing family situations to healing a disease.  My aunt's marriage was healed and one of my best friends growing up was healed of Muscular Dystrophy; so I believe in miracles.  But not every request is answered the same way.

So how do we deal?

How do we keep our faith intact when we seem to get knocked down or knocked out for the fight... when we don't want to bother getting back up?  We have to keep our faith. 

It's not easy; and sometimes we take one step at a time or just one moment at a time: knowing God is still there, even if we are mad at Him at the moment as a result of the situation.  You will feel the emotions that result from consequences.  Emotions don't mean we are no longer Christians - far from it.  We have to be realistic in our expectations when it comes to our faith.  Remember, we are still human and we do have feelings.  What we do with those feelings is our choice.  And that's where making the right choices come in.  How we choose to go from here in reaction to our disappointment and our emotion of anger... that will be where we steer the course for our faith.  Will we keep praying and believing?  Or will we turn our back on what we have known to be a stronghold, our help in troubling situations?

During these times, it would be nice to see the higher view of this bigger picture of life that is being painted, the one we just cannot see.  Then we might understand why things don't quite work out the way we hoped, or the way we planned.

Bad things happen to good people.  There's no rhyme or reason behind it.  God doesn't just "let" it happen.  It's a part of living in an imperfect world and the consequences of such imperfection.  This is not to suggest that prayer isn't powerful, or that we shouldn't pray.  But when things don't go completely our way, I hope we can refrain, even in the moments of anger and other emotions that run wild, from having bitterness set in and taking over.

God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good.

Find yourself...keeping it real.

Photo Credit: http://dogsounds.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/sad20face.jpg

1 comment:

Tammy said...

You hit the nail on the head with this. Sometimes it is so difficult to understand our circumstances, and that is when we have to just trust that God knows what He is doing and has out best interests at heart. I am going to send this to a friend who is going through a difficult time right now.

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