I struggle with being so transparent… but here I share my life as a single mom and relationships are important to me. I try to learn from each one and try to treat everyone in my life better as a result.
Sitting on my couch last night I gave myself a pep talk / consolation for what might lie ahead. I hadn’t gotten a call in hours and so my mind began to imagine what he must be thinking. My thoughts started with “I can do this… I have done this before… it might take a few more weeks to get over it this time, but…” Since I hadn’t heard from him, I was having a one-sided conversation and thinking it might be over.
Mr. M. and I had a tiff. I won’t call it down right fight, but we had a misunderstanding.
I was looking forward to having a weekend with just the two of us because my kiddos were still vacationing with their father and Mr. M’s boys were on a week vacation with their mom. He normally had them every weekend. So this was a rare opportunity for us to have a weekend ‘kid-free'. Mr. M. had already told me he was going to let the main coach know that he wouldn’t be their to assist at Saturday’s soccer practice so that we could potentially have the whole weekend – should we decide to do a day trip on Saturday or something.
Perhaps you as readers here can understand my disappointment when I found out that since the boys are not actually going anywhere with their mother, the oldest will be at soccer practice on Saturday. And when he found out his son would be there… without any hesitation he told me he would be going to practice on Saturday too and was surprised at my reaction.
“We can still do something Saturday,” said Mr. M.
“But we won’t be able to get an early start for a day trip,” I responded. “I am just disappointed is all. But, I will get over it.”
What was I supposed to say? I felt he deserved to know where I stood and why I felt this way. I was looking forward to having ONE weekend with just the two of us and thought it was a big deal. But to him I guess I am overreacting but I really don’t know what he is thinking.
He was silent following my statement of disappointment…for several minutes.
Then he said he would call later that night.
I went to bed around 10:00 pm not hearing anything more. He called at 10:30, woke me up and said he just wanted to call before he went to bed. That was it. Nothing more was said about the issue.
Now I do understand he wants to see his boys as much as possible and I do appreciate his non-reactive temperament. But if I cannot feel at least some attempt at a resolution come through conversing on a topic when it arises, I feel we haven’t attempted to understand each other’s position. Because we haven’t tried to hear each other out. I spent one marriage sweeping too many things under the rug and have no plans to start that strategy again. Even little things that come up shouldn’t be ignored. I like to talk about them.
So we are still communicating. He called this morning to let me know he was at work… and that he would call later. But if he truly has nothing to “say” to me about things that disappoint me…. what is the point?
Seriously, should I let this go? Am I overreacting?
Find yourself… keeping it real.