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Sep 2, 2009

STEP dot MOM??

It just dawned on me.... If I ever tie the knot with Mr. M. (and no, we are not image even engaged so don't let your minds wander here...) I would be a s.t.e.p.m.o.t.h.e.r!  Now please trust me, I am really not slow; but I never gave it a lot of thought before writing this.

Right now it's just his kids, my kids, and the fact that we have already discussed there will never be any "our" kids (if we ever do tie the knot in the future btw) when we mention "kiddos" in conversations.  But it just hit me.... hmmm, if we ever did , I then become a step mom. 


How do you try to be a good stepmom (and not the wicked one)? 

Is it a preconceived notion that his kiddos will have about any potential step mom and will this perhaps be too difficult to change? 

Can I earn the love and respect from this man's children? 

How long does that take? 

Can it happen while we are still 'just dating'? 

I don't want to ever try to replace their mom... not even for a minute; nor do I want them to feel they must treat me like a mom when they hang with me and their dad.... but what role can I be compared to? Their aunt?  Ok their cool aunt... I can handle that!

Wow, now that I have thought about this, my questions just continue to pour out and leak all over the place.  Am I able to add one more hat to my collection?  This is all new to me, you know?

What overwhelming notions...

How do you recommend a "stepmother" (or potential stepmother) gain the much needed respect from the significant other's kiddos?

I think I have the new name for my blog at that time though.... whenever if ever that would be:


What do you think?

Find yourself... keeping it real.

Photo Credits: http://www.availableimages.com/images/previews/Stepmom%20%281998%29.jpg and http://www.biology.duke.edu/cunningham/figures/tremaine1.jpg


Laura said...

This is something that kinda scares me - ALOT! Not only being a step mom but being "mom" to many many children :)

I have no experience with it as I have never dated a guy with kids so it has never become a maybe reality for me yet

Legal Editor Mom said...

I have a stepson who I get along with famoulsy. Our relationship was good from the very beginning simply because I was myself around him, didn't try too hard to win him over, and, I hate to say it, but his mom was not around to make it difficult for us. You'll be fortunate if your ex's mom is secure and isn't threatened by you. I've seen many moms who are insecure and don't appreciate the stepmom in the picture at all. That makes it hard for everyone, most of all the kids! So if/when it happens, good luck!

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