When I read this title on Seth Godin’s blog this week, it made me stop in my tracks. What do you mean, it’s not going to be ok? But read that title again, it says “everything”. He goes on to say more about 
this thought: how change is inevitable which brings more change and that some things will get better with change – but other things will get worse. That is the cycle of life. Yet we seek the reassurance, that it will all be ok. And at times we lie to each other and say, Yes, everything is going to be ok. “But everything is never ok.”
It is true isn’t it? Some families will fall apart and get divorced, while other singles are finding true love, some for the second or third time. Marriages that are thriving in their relationships might be dealing with financial problems. One friend will lose his job at the same time another finds a better one. At any one point in time “everything” will not be ok, not all at once. Even as a Christian I can say EVERYTHING is never completely ok. So instead of seeking reassurance of that perfection in life, it might make for a smoother ride if we can accept the fact, there will be some bad along with the good for each of us in our lives. Focusing on the good helps – and developing a strategy to deal with the bad also helps as we face this fact.
My brother is still working through his depression. He is getting better (thanks to all of you who have been praying for him) and is continuing therapy. Encouragement and support are definitely what he needs right now. But blindly telling him that the problems that were going on in his life before this depression hit, will somehow magically disappear is a falsehood and unrealistic. Instead I am encouraging him about getting better and stronger emotionally and mentally but also gently reminding him that there will still be the “stuff” he has to deal with on the other side of this. Right now he just needs to focus on getting better so he can deal with that stuff…later on… like the rest of us deal with our own stuff.
So when you are tempted to say to someone, “Everything is going to be ok.” Stop and think, but is it?
Find yourself… keeping it real.
2 comments:
Those words never irritated as much as when they were spoken to me after my 11 year old daughter passed away.
It felt like an audacious, hollow sentiment.
And you know what...it's years later and everything is not okay.
What a great post. I have a step son & a step daughter who are currently dealing with depression. My step son is over the mountain and doing better, but that isn't to say that he still doesn't have days of small mountains to climb. My step daughter is currently at the top of the mountain and feeling like she wants to jump and not climb down.
We learned months ago that this phrase should never be used when they talk to us.
What we do say for encouragement are things like "I have faith that you can get through this" or "It may not be okay for a long time, but I know you can learn to live with it not being okay"
Really enjoyed this post from you today.
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