Today I am participating in Heather’s (Desperately Seeking Sanity Blog) Trading Spaces Bloggy Style. Several bloggers are switching with each other and sharing our thoughts with each other’s readers on (you guessed it) Love.
Below is the guest post shared by Tishia Lee. Please take a moment to see her definition of Love below and then jump over to her blog, http://www.adventuresofasinglewahm.com to see my post for the day, titled: Love is Personal. We would both love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below.
Trading Spaces, Bloggy Style
What is Love?
A child always seeking, reaching, trying to please her parents but always coming up short. Nothing she did was ever good enough especially for her dad. As she got older she became consumed with seeking her dads approval, seeking his love only to find that no matter what she did she couldn't make him love her how she wanted. She wanted to feel like a little princess, that she was the most important person on the face of the earth. She wanted to feel him wrap his arms around her and hug all her troubles and worries away. Instead she found it was easier to distance herself from a daddy she couldn't please because her grades were never good enough or her room wasn't clean enough. She found that making him love her wasn't going to happen. Sure he loved her in his own way but it always felt conditional and never like 'I love you just because you're my daughter'.
That girl mentioned above is me. I'm a grown woman in my 30's and the effects of growing up feeling unloved by my dad had some pretty harsh effects on me. In college I found that sleeping with a man was an easy way to feel loved, accepted and special...at least for a little while. Truth be told it always left me feeling more unloved and even 'emptier' in my heart than I did beforehand. And I soon found that men loved me conditionally just like my dad - as long as I was doing what they wanted they 'loved' me.
It didn't take long to build walls around my heart and learn that no one could ever love me unconditionally. Or that no one would ever want to love me like that. Obviously I wasn't worth being loved so deeply by someone. If my own dad couldn't love me the way a child deserves to be loved then why would anyone else? Imagine my surprise when in 2001 I was introduced to Jesus and taught that my Father in Heaven loved me unconditionally - faults and all. Sins and all. That no matter what I had done He loved me. That no matter what I do he loves me.
It's been 9 years since I became a Christian and while I still struggle with knowing that God loves me unconditionally I've seen my perception of love change drastically. When I think of the question what is love I giggle because I don't have the standard answer I used to have anymore (thank gosh!). I used to say it's feeling butterflies in my stomach, it's physical attraction, it's being intimate with someone. Sure those things can still be a part of how people perceive love but not for me anymore. Now a days I find myself answering that question with things that make me stop and think of love and one other thing - my son.
I think of how God loves me regardless of my faults, regardless of my sins. I think about how He knows the number of hairs on my head. I think about how He is so quick to forgive when I mess up. I think about how He doesn't expect anything in return other than me loving him back. And then I look at my son and think about how I love him and would do anything for him and that no matter what he does I'll always love him and suddenly I understand what love is and how God's love is even greater than what I feel for my son.
The moral of all this? To share my story and say that while my dad and I have a decent relationship today my heavenly father is the one that shows me unconditional love. My heavenly father is the one that wraps his arms around me and takes all my cares and worries away. My heavenly father is the one that I put my trust in because I know He will always provide for me and that He will always love me no matter what!
Tishia Lee is a 30 something single work at home mom to one child. Her and her son reside in lovely Northern Michigan. Be sure to check out her blog at http://www.adventuresofasinglewahm.com where she writes about her faith, dating, the trials and tribulations of being a single mom and more.