In reality, my unhappiness wasn’t Phil’s fault or anyone else’s.
As women, we often look to our men to be the knights in shining armor who will make everything right.
We expect them to be the ones to validate us and make us feel worthy.
Trust me when I say, the men in our lives can’t do that.
More often than not, they are fighting the same insecurities and demons we are.
It would take me years to realize that I was the only one responsible for my happiness and that blaming others only shifted the focus away from where it needed to be – on me.
The mother of Shaquille O’Neal, Lucille O’Neal shares her life story in this book, Walk Like You Have Somewhere to Go. She struggles through a difficult childhood and shares about her life when she becomes pregnant as a teen and the ramifications when she starts her journey as a single mom. Her path may have been full of difficult moments but in her later years she gives credit to God for guiding her journey to a place where she finds answers to questions many of us share right along side her.
Later on page 177, she writes:
I never saw the possibility of changing my life while struggling to figure out how to feed a family of six with one chicken. But that is the true beauty of God’s plan for us. We may not know what His plans hold for us, but we must trust that they are bigger and better than anything we could ever imaging for ourselves. “With God all things are possible.” – Matt. 19:26 (NKJV)
To read these words from someone who now has everything available to her at her fingertips – is impressive. One of my favorite stories she shares is after Shaq has acquired his wealth and she has his “driver” in his limo take her to Kmart to buy furnishings for Shaq’s new house. But that one, you have to read for yourself.
Each single mom may have a different story about how we came to this role in life; whether through a divorce like me or like Lucille O’Neal who was thrown into adulthood quickly as a teenage mom. But each of our stories can become a better story if we know where to turn to find the answers. Lucille realized this.
Find yourself… keeping it real.