Do you remember the post about the doctor telling me it was time for ‘the talk’ with little Kass? Are you struggling with the topic of puberty and your elementary school age child?
Well I have eluded to the topic with her on occasion and made sure I had shared some of the basics. But of course, I didn’t feel totally prepared for the long-drawn-out version of “the talk.” At least not to the point where I wanted to open the floor for more in-depth questions and I don’t think she felt comfortable doing so anyway.
Then a few weeks back I was approached by Healthy Edudynamics about reviewing a book titled, 101 Questions Kids Really Ask… And The Answers They Need To Know. They sent me a free copy and I started reading the book. Let me first say I am impressed and appreciative of the approach to the material. So much so that I have an extra brand-new copy of 101 Questions Kids Really Ask… I want to give away to one of my readers along with a preview of “A Time to Talk,” a new DVD-based program that gives parents and teachers the necessary tools to begin early with age-appropriate, straight-forward, and accurate dialogue.
Some topics for conversation during such a “talk” about puberty can lead to discussing personal choices – choices a family has to make for themselves and provide as a guide for their children’s way of thinking. This book adapts to that concept by leading you to input more of your personal choices when it comes to discussing morals and boundaries instead of making those decisions for you in it’s content. To see what I mean, here is an example.
This excerpt is taken from the text of the book:
**What is sex?
There are many slang terms for all types of intercourse. When asked a question that includes a slang term, begin your answer with statement No. 1.
1. That is a slang term for ____________________.
2. Give the definition for the behavior in questions based on the above definitions. (These definitions are outlined in the book in the previous section)
TEACHABLE MOMENT – If children should ask technique or “how to” questions related to intercourse, a parent should acknowledge the question, perhaps try to find out what the child knows or has heard about the topic, and then answer or not answer based on the information the child states and using the personal values of the family. ** Excerpt taken from page 78, Section: Questions About Sensitive Issues.
As you see here, you are able to use the material and yet impart your own ideals as you share the information with your son or daughter. On the flip side even if you use this material with a small civic group or church group of young people, the content allows you to provide an answer, yet gear the children to what needs to be asked of their parents when they get home so they can elaborate about it. This gives the family the final say and more control over how their children should be taught in these more sensitive and personal areas.
It also discusses other questions kids have… like “What is French Kissing?” So it is not just about the sensitive issues… but also a tool for other related conversations about harassment and self esteem/body image issues.
Remember our children, no matter how sheltered, will be exposed to information. As they get older and closer to middle school age especially, they will ‘hear’ things and may know more than you think they do…already. Don’t you want them to see you (their mom or dad) as an easy-to-talk to resource? Keep that door open and gentle… not judging.
I think this book can be very helpful for parents and group leaders alike; plus it gives you a jumpstart to beginning such a conversation in a down-to-earth, “this is what other kiddos are thinking and asking” kind of way.
I plan to use this tool as a resource on this topic of puberty and “the talk” and you might want to check it out too.
You have a chance to receive a free copy right here.
If you would like to receive this extra free copy of the book and resource DVD about “The Talk” all you have to do is leave me a comment. One name will be chosen from the comments on this post over the next week, so leave your email address to be contacted or a profile connection with an email linked to it.
Seriously, if you are in the stage with one of your children where “the talk” is coming up soon, you have to check out this book, 101 Questions Kids Really Ask… (And I was surprised at how early that stage really is.)
Find yourself… keeping it real.