The Final Summit

After reading The Final Summit, I was intrigued.  Not only were facts from history included that I had never heard revealed but I also enjoyed the concept of having so many great men (and women) in the same room passionately solving the greatest problem of humanity.

Andy Andrews puts life into perspective and brings history to life similar to his recent book, The Butterfly Effect.  In my younger years, I never enjoyed reading history books or history classes; but this book, full of facts and quotes, would have brought even me out of a fog of boredom when reading the relevance of each historical character and their contribution to our current day’s prosperity.

My favorite historical reference was the life of Eric Erickson.  What boldness and humbleness it must have taken, ironically combined, for someone to live with each moment being a new risk like he did, along with his wife.  All this Eric did for the sake of saving his homeland; and ultimately his sacrifice affected the success of the biggest war in history.His life story is spelled out in the book from Andrews’ own research. 

I give the book high marks and recommend it.  The overall purpose of the book as well the intriguing research make this worthy of your time. 

When you find nothing but desperate hopelessness around you, when all seems to be adding up to constant opposition, what should you do?  Read the book and find out.

 

 

Technorati Tags: The Final Summit,Andy Andrews,Life lessons,history,personal development

And…About Easter

It’s Easter weekend.  Good Friday (Dark Friday) is today and I am off from work in honor of the holiday. 

What does this weekend mean to you?

Easter is a special time and fun for the children, hiding eggs, coloring them, going through baskets of goodies, and getting new outfits.  I might even wear a new sweater on Sunday. You know how that old tradition goes.  It used to be ladies wore their new hat, a new dress, and short white gloves on Easter.  Gone are those days.  Now as a single mom, I do well to get the kiddos a few clothes for spring, and me a new top and skirt.  Even though the budget is tight for clothes, I do try to stay up with the latest fashions for all of us, somewhat.  I do believe we should be presentable, and dressed for occasions.  I am not a slob nor do let the kiddos neglect their wardrobe (for the most part).  If you see my son, you may say he is the exception.  But there is more to Easter than ladies fashion, children getting new outfits and coloring eggs.

Good Friday was the day Christ died on the cross, a huge event in reflection of my personal faith.  He did that for us, for our sins, that we might take the opportunity to believe in His sacrifice while we are living and go to heaven when we die. But the day of celebration of my faith is Sunday, when we reflect upon His resurrection from the dead, leaving the tomb behind and walking with the disciples one more time before going up to Heaven, “to prepare a place…” for us.

I don’t talk a great deal about my faith on my blog.  You see it here and there in glimpses throughout my experiences.  But I did want to encourage everyone to take a moment to reflect, for themselves, what Easter truly means to you and your family .  You can make a decision this weekend, right now for that matter, to allow Him to make a difference in your life.

That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. (Romans 10:9-10)

Is Easter special in your family?

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: Easter,Salvation,Christ,Heaven,resurrection,cross,Christian,faith,Good Friday,ladies fashion

Burn by Ted Dekker & Erin Healy: Review

I received this book, titled BURN by Ted Dekker and Erin Healy to read for a review from the publicist, Amy Currie.  The cover was so enticing, if I had seen it on the shelf knowing other works by New York Times Best-Selling Author, Ted Dekker, I would have picked it up anyway.

I started reading and even though it took me awhile to warm up to the characters and to get settled in on what was happening; once I was into just a couple chapters, I was hooked.  As with other books I have read by Dekker, he keeps you going back and forth between different characters and their sagas… and you find yourself wanting to jump ahead to see what was going to happen next to the one you were just reading about.  But I didn’t.  I followed the path he and Healy wanted to take us down to let this story unfold. 

The story is intriguing and does make you think.  The main character has to make some choices early on in the story – which dictates the way her world turns following those decisions.  However, unlike us (in the real world) this character gets to also see how her world woulda coulda been different had she reacted differently.  This is only one piece of the story that is gripping as you get enthralled and want to see how it all will end up and which story will become “her own". 

Don’t think it’s one of those where you get to choose an alternate ending; that’s not how the authors portray this.  But instead you will just have to read it to know how you get to see the altering egos at play.

It’s a good book.  Engrossing and hard to put down is how I would describe it as I got swept into their world and the mysterious scenarios that began to be revealed.   So if you want a thought-provoking, mysterious thriller with anticipation at every turned page, you don’t have to go looking any farther.  Burn by Ted Dekker and Erin Healy – check it out.

Here is a portion of a recent press release on the book:

Burn uniquely combines the heart-pounding suspense, supernatural elements and the trademark plot twists Dekker fans have come to know and love with Healy’s strong feminine voice and affinity for nuanced emotional connections.

“This genre of fiction is often dominated by male authors and male protagonists,” says Healy, award-winning editor and owner of WordWright Editorial Services. “I think women who like supernatural thrillers but are looking for a more feminine narrative voice, and strong female characters will connect with Burn.”

In Burn, Janeal Mikkado’s world is turned upside down when powerful criminal Salazar Sanso promises her a new life if she helps him recover a vast sum of money from her father, a leader in their gypsy kumpania. When the plan goes awry and the camp is attacked and burned by Sanso’s men, Janeal finds herself faced with two choices: save her best friend who is about to be consumed by a fire or disappear with the million dollars stolen from her father. Her decision will alter the course of her life forever.

The past Janeal thought had burned away eventually rises from the ashes. The sudden reappearance of the best friend and boyfriend she left for dead, along with the malevolent Sanzo, threatens the high-powered life she has made for herself away from the gypsy camp. There’s a debt to be paid for the money she found: she must make a new life-or-death choice—but this time, escape is not an option.

Dekker is the New York Times bestselling author of more than 20 books, which have sold a combined 3.6 million copies worldwide. He began his career writing spiritual thrillers, and has since crossed over into mainstream fiction with recent titles such as Adam, Thr3e, Skin, Obsessed and BoneMan's Daughters. His novels Thr3e and House became feature films, and more of his books are in development with Lionsgate Entertainment. Visit www.teddekker.com for more information.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: Ted Dekker,Erin Healy,Burn,mystery,thriller,supernatural,suspense,reading,review,book review,choices

A Life Lesson from LOST

Another Mom and Son Moment

“But what if the man in black is NOT the devil?”

My son asked this question as he went on to discuss Tuesday night’s episode of Lost.  He thinks it’s all going to be revealed as the reverse of what we have been led to believe at the end of the series.  He thinks the man in black is really the good guy and that Jacob represented the devil and so on… and that getting off the island for non-Locke(man in black) is a GOOD thing.

I don’t agree.  I think it is still Jacob (good) vs. man in black (smoke) non-Locke and I told Jas I choose to believe that if they allow Locke to get off the island, that Hell will be released as indicated by the bottle of wine comparison in Tuesday’s episode. 

Like I told him, it’s all about choices.  The whole show.  (Well that and redemption.) My choice is to believe in Jacob.  Jas just thinks Jacob is deceiving us all.

The Life Lesson

But this brought me to a great Life Lesson for Jas.  In talking about the possibility of the deceit between these characters in the show, Lost, I asked Jas.  “Do you know how people – the ones trained – know how to detect counterfeit money?”

Jas said, “They study the different kinds.”

“Nope,” I said. “They study the real thing and know it so well, backwards and forwards and every detail about it; so that when someone tries to slip in a counterfeit that is really close to the real thing- but isn’t, they know it.”

Then I said, “You already know…Jesus is the real deal.”

“This show is a reminder that it’s important to know the real deal (Him)– and know what He stood for, know it so well, that when someone tries to tell you something about Him (or about going to heaven) that is ‘close’ but not the real deal, you’ll know it.”

Ok, was that a good ‘mom and son’ life lesson sharing together inspiring moment, or what?

He started talking about Lost again, but I think he got the point.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Technorati Tags: Lost series,ABC,LOST,Jesus,life lessons,personal development,parenting,deceit,counterfeit

…And About “The Talk”

The Talk

Do you remember the post about the doctor telling me it was time for ‘the talk’ with little Kass?  Are you struggling with  the topic of puberty and your elementary school age child?

Well I have eluded to the topic with her on occasion and made sure I had shared some of the basics.  But of course, I didn’t feel totally prepared for the long-drawn-out version of “the talk.”  At least not to the point where I wanted to open the floor for more in-depth questions and I don’t think she felt comfortable doing so anyway.

Book Giveaway!

Then a few weeks back I was approached by Healthy Edudynamics about reviewing a book titled, 101 Questions Kids Really Ask… And The Answers They Need To Know.  They sent me a free copy and I started reading the book.  Let me first say I am impressed and appreciative of the approach to the material.  So much so that I have an extra brand-new copy of 101 Questions Kids Really Ask… I want to give away to one of my readers along with a preview of “A Time to Talk,” a new DVD-based program that gives parents and teachers the necessary tools to begin early with age-appropriate, straight-forward, and accurate dialogue.

Some topics for conversation during such a “talk” about puberty can lead to discussing personal choices – choices a family has to make for themselves and provide as a guide for their children’s way of thinking.  This book adapts to that concept by leading you to input more of your personal choices when it comes to discussing morals and boundaries instead of making those decisions for you in it’s content.  To see what I mean, here is an example. 

This excerpt is taken from the text of the book:

**What is sex?

There are many slang terms for all types of intercourse.  When asked a question that includes a slang term, begin your answer with statement No. 1.

1. That is a slang term for ____________________.

2. Give the definition for the behavior in questions based on the above definitions. (These definitions are outlined in the book in the previous section)

TEACHABLE MOMENT – If children should ask technique or “how to” questions related to intercourse, a parent should acknowledge the question, perhaps try to find out what the child knows or has heard about the topic, and then answer or not answer based on the information the child states and using the personal values of the family. ** Excerpt taken from page 78, Section: Questions About Sensitive Issues.

As you see here, you are able to use the material and yet impart your own ideals as you share the information with your son or daughter.  On the flip side even if you use this material with a small civic group or church group of young people, the content allows you to provide an answer, yet gear the children to what needs to be asked of their parents when they get home so they can elaborate about it.  This gives the family the final say and more control over how their children should be taught in these more sensitive and personal areas.

It also discusses other questions kids have… like “What is French Kissing?”  So it is not just about the sensitive issues… but also a tool for other related conversations about harassment and self esteem/body image issues.

Remember our children, no matter how sheltered, will be exposed to information.  As they get older and closer to middle school age especially, they will ‘hear’ things and may know more than you think they do…already.  Don’t you want them to see you (their mom or dad) as an easy-to-talk to resource?  Keep that door open and gentle… not judging.

Helpful Resource

I think this book can be very helpful for parents and group leaders alike; plus it gives you a jumpstart to beginning such a conversation in a down-to-earth, “this is what other kiddos are thinking and asking” kind of way. 

I plan to use this tool as a resource on this topic of puberty and “the talk” and you might want to check it out too. 

You have a chance to receive a free copy right here.

If you would like to receive this extra free copy of the book and resource DVD about “The Talk” all you have to do is leave me a comment.  One name will be chosen from the comments on this post over the next week, so leave your email address to be contacted or a profile connection with an email linked to it.

Seriously, if you are in the stage with one of your children where “the talk” is coming up soon, you have to check out this book, 101 Questions Kids Really Ask… (And I was surprised at how early that stage really is.)

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: sex education,puberty,children,free book,facts of life,healthy

Tying up loose ends

If you have been reading my blogs, you know recently I have had some open ended questions on things going on in my world. (And if you would like to regularly keep up, please subscribe here.) Some questions you may still have: Jas’ quarters, what did we finally do? Kass doctor’s visit, how does she define “started?” Dating again… where has that headed?

Quarters

Jas ended up keeping the quarters. (If you don't know about him hitting the jackpot, read my blog linked here.) He used them at the same laundry mat to play video games and buy sodas. (So he was reinvesting in the source at least.) A couple days after the incident, I went into the laundry mat and checked around. Just like he had said, I also couldn’t find an employee, manager, or any obvious info on the change machine. So I just chalked that one up as a “blessing” for Jason. Some commenters suggested he give the money to charity… but he’s 13, a boy, and doesn’t yet have any interest in “charity.” Sad that I have to admit that, but it is true. And I have to also say, I choose my battles when it comes to forcing him to do things.

The Talk

Kass and I have only begun the process of the “talk.” (If you don't know about her doctor's visit that informed me it was time for this, read my blog linked here.) We had some time alone one evening and I brought up the doctor’s visit. I asked what did she think it meant when people talked about girls “starting”? She said she didn’t know. So I went into a little more detail about how girls’ bodies begin to change as they get older and told her not to be alarmed when that happened to her. It was just a beginning for us. But at least I have opened the door and will be purchasing a book as recommended by a very good friend of mine, How You Are Changing by Jane Graver to aid in the conversation as that process continues.

Dating Again

This isn’t going anywhere at the moment. I still talk with K, but we haven’t gone out in weeks. I can’t officially say I’m on another “man break” but it looks that way at the moment. Interestingly though, just like MsSingleMama stated in a recent blog, it feels great not to be absorbed in keeping up with a relationship right now. No, it doesn’t mean I’m a man hater nor that I’m giving up permanently on relationships; I just appreciate the fact that when these times come along, I don’t find myself getting obsessed with the idea that I have to be in a relationship. I can be content with who I am, being single, and enjoying my life instead of wishing for what I don’t have. I’ve said this before. This is nothing new. But, in case you are getting worried, I must say I do look forward to someday meeting someone or pursuing a current friendship by taking it to the next level. I just don’t think about it all the time. It only crosses my mind once or twice a day instead of once or twice an hour.

That special relationship will come along one day, though… just wait and see!

Now it’s your turn:

Did I get you caught up with my world, or did I miss something?

What are some things that are still evolving in your world? Have you been putting off an important conversation or a confrontation? Are you in a current relationship that appears to be at a standstill?

Spill it and let me live vicariously through your relationship for a moment.

Find yourself keeping it real.

Photo Credit: http://www.learnstreetmagic.net/images/learnstreetmagic06_image015.jpg

Technorati Tags: facts of life,single moms,dating,relationships,girls changing bodies,laundry mat,quarters

No Pain, No Gain… WHAT?

“Mostly, I remember this: His brass knuckles flashing in the afternoon light; how cold they felt with the first few blows and how quickly they warmed with my blood. Getting thrown against the wall, a nail where a framed picture may have hung once jabbing at my back. Sohrab screaming. Tabla, harmonium, a dil-roba. Getting hurled against the wall. The knuckles shattering my jaw. Choking on my own teeth, swallowing them, thinking about all the countless hours I’d spent flossing and brushing. Getting hurled against the wall. Lying on the floor, blood from my split upper lip staining the mauve carpet, pain ripping through my belly, and wondering when I’d be able to breathe again. The sound of my ribs snapping like the tree branches Hassan and I used to break to swordfight like Sinbad in those old movies. Sohrab screaming. The side of my face slamming against the corner of the television stand. That snapping sound again, this time just under my left eye. Music. Sohrab screaming. Fingers grasping my head back, the twinkle of stainless steel. Here they come. That snapping sound yet again, now my nose. Biting down in pain, noticing how my teeth didn’t align like they used to. Getting kicked. Sohrab screaming.”

This is a passage of redemption for the main character taken from the book I recently finished reading by Khaled Hosseini titled, The Kite Runner. He finally received the peace he longed for after getting this massive beating. We read this for my book club and discussed it last night. The book is amazing on so many levels. The main underlying theme is loyalty, friendship, relationships, and forgiveness. I recommend it if you haven’t read it.

There have been times in my life when I felt like I was being beat up, even though it wasn’t this physical beating to a pulp, but emotionally I have felt bruised, kicked, and stomach punched. It’s funny (I guess that is the right word) how with your emotions, physical feelings can exude from your body and you actually feel as though physical blows have been thrown at you: your heart hurts, your stomach is nauseated, your head hurts, your eyes blur and tear up. Sometimes it’s during these emotional and mental “beatings” that we grow, that we learn another of life’s lessons, and that we build character.

The choices that we make during those times are important. How we react in that moment can affect the final outcome, not only for ourselves but for others as well. We know that our decisions, no matter how trivial they may seem also continue in a chain reaction down the line and can affect many others even beyond our own world, beyond our realm of consideration. So how do we make wise decisions during those times? What is our foundation to return to when we want to know right from wrong?

Yes, I do believe the Bible is the foundation of truth and knowledge of right from wrong. But ultimately our perception of that truth for everyone is a little different. I think we return to what we have been taught from a child up. We learn from our parents or caregivers, we learn from our closest siblings and friends. I know I consider all the golden nuggets of instruction my mom would give me over my younger years. I still recall them to this day, not to use them as my excuse for what I do or how I choose; but to hold strong to them and say my mom was such a wonderful woman with great wealth that I want to live like she would want me to live. She wasn’t one of great wealth monetarily, by no definition of the word, but oh so rich in wisdom and her many life lessons as a single mom. I want to live my life to say, “See mom, you taught me, that I can do this, if I know where I place my trust.”

So here is my prayer for today.

“God help me to make wise decisions. Even when I feel like I am getting ‘beat up’ emotionally, help me to look to you and instead of reacting or lashing out in my pain (like I am so tempted to do, wanting to retaliate and hurt that person), help me to consider taking the blow and allowing you to use it to ‘chisel off’ another piece of me as you continue to ‘make me’ into what You want me to be.”

I mean in retrospect, I did ask for it, remember?

Now it’s your turn:

Have you felt beat up lately?

Has there been a specific experience in your life where emotionally you literally could feel the physical effects from what was being thrown at you, as if you were being “stomach punched?” How did you react?

Technorati Tags: beating,stomach punch,growth,maturing,truth,single mom,life

Photo Credit:http://www.memphisflyer.com/binary/bc58f16a/stomach%20punch2%20jpg.jpg

Highlights of the Week

This has been a busy week. This week has felt like two weeks packed into one, but over the last few days I have reflected on a few moments that were priceless. So I wanted to share a few highlights…

1. I had to call my son, Jas, Wednesday afternoon to check to see if he was definitely going to stay over his buddy “C’s” house after school as we had discussed that morning. He was with several friends while we had this conversation. In the midst of his confirmation he was going to “C’s” house, he paused, as another friend must have questioned his ability to stay over on a school night with a friend. His reply “Oh yeah. My mom is awesome like that.” Ok, golden moment, do you not agree?
2. Sunday night on the way home from the state meeting, Kass says she has to go to the restroom and wants us to get home quick. I explain it will be quicker to take the interstate and she says it will be quicker through the neighborhoods. In response I tell her – look at the clock on the stereo. We can be home in 12 minutes if I take interstate. Eleven minutes later we are pulling up in the driveway. She says, “Mom, how come you are always right?!” I just smiled.
3. We started a more structured “family time” as a part of our schedule each night. At 8:30 PM we stop everything, come together and share some scriptures, talk about them, and have a family prayer. We’ve always prayed together at bedtime, but we are making it more of a time of discussion and comparing different versions of the Bible. Both Jas and Kass are sincerely participating. And their participation has been a true highlight of my week. But in the grand scheme of things, the plan is for this to accomplish a number of things:
   • To maintain constant open communication with my kids.
   • To instill in them an understandable value system, not just high expectations that are unreachable; but instead realistic expectations with an explanation of why we strive for excellence even though there may be times of missing that mark. Living a “cut above” is doable.
   • To watch them grow into role model citizens as a result of having shared family time discussing morals and ideals.

So you see this has been a busy week, but even more so a productive week when it comes to appreciating these “golden moments” with family.

What about you?

Can you stop and think of three golden moments over the past week? Share them here.

If you look, you will find them. I just have to keep reminding myself to stop, look for them, and listen carefully, especially to my children. They just might surprise me!

Oh, this reminds me of one of our recently discussed verses during family time, Ps. 46:10, which in the NIV says, “Be still and know that I am God.”* But Eugene Peterson’s interpretation of that same verse in “The Message” interestingly says it this way: “Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything.”

Hmmmm, above politics…. Yeah, I’m not even going there right now, but my next question is:

Have you “stepped out of traffic” this week?

*Disclaimer, even though my golden moments were about my children and listening to them, I do not think of my children as God. I do, however, believe that they are a gift from God. But I hereby want to rectify any possible implication that stopping and listening to my children and appreciating these moments as stated herein is the same as stopping and listening to God. (Although, I know God has spoken to me through my children at times. So perhaps there is no need for this rambling run-on disclaimer after all! :)

Technorati Tags: Children,gratitudes,family time,morals

Photo Credit:  http://goflorida.about.com/library/graphics/sunset3.jpg

To Keep or Not To Keep, That is the Question

I came in and lay across the bed. The skin on my feet was stinging as if the straps across the tops of my stilettos worn all day were still squeezing it, but I had taken off my shoes. I needed a few minutes to just stop before making dinner, a few minutes to think and to rest.

When Jas had gotten in the car earlier where I picked him up, he said “Guess what happened at the laundry mat today.” “What happened?” I replied. He hangs out at the library after school lets out each afternoon and there is a laundry mat across the street where he will go with his buddies to get sodas once in a while.

“C was going to buy us sodas and he had a five dollar bill, so we went to the laundry mat to get change. At first the machine wouldn’t take the bill, so C kept trying it again and again. Finally the machine took the bill.” And then he continued to tell me the story. They hit the jackpot! Jas said the machine kept pouring out quarters, not just the twenty quarters they were due for the five dollar bill; but Jas ended up with about 65, another of the boys ended up with over fifty, C got fifty quarters and they were still coming. Jas figures between all of the boys they totaled 200 quarters, ($50 worth). He went on to explain they tried to find the owner of the laundry mat (I am sure he could see by the look on my face I wasn’t happy with him keeping the quarters). He said they couldn’t find anyone that worked there, only customers doing laundry. So their consensus was that since the machine malfunctioned and since they couldn’t find the owner, the quarters were theirs to keep.

I didn’t go back to the laundry mat; I chose to believe his story and told him I was going to leave it up to him what he does with the money.

As I lay there, I kept thinking, “Should I have done differently?” I like to think I have instilled high morals in him since the early years of his childhood and that they have taken root. Am I now a bad mother if I don’t insist he try harder tomorrow to find an owner or employee over there?

I think he plans to keep the quarters.

But here’s where I need some comments or advice from my fellow moms and other friends in the blogosphere…. Help a girl out, will ya?

What would you do?

 

Technorati Tags: children,single moms,morals,WWYD