Each Day, Each Decision, Each Defining Moment

I'm so proud of my kiddos, my treasures.  They make me crazy at times. I don't need to go there, but they are also making me quite proud.

Jas is off to college and seems to be settling in.  He's been home only once and I like that he is getting a feel for being on his own and doing things on his own - even though I know he is hanging with his friends and even staying over in their dorm - instead of his own suite.... but that's a story for another day about his room mate.  At the very least he is developing a routine and getting into the groove of the work expected of him; and so far I haven't gotten any sobbing phone calls in the middle of the night - begging to come home for good. (knock on wood)

Kass has started high school and is really doing well.  We moved, which placed her in a different high school from her brother - actually the one she wanted to attend - and she loves it.  She is so grown up that it is even shocking sometimes to me.  We hang out in the evenings during the week, make dinner together and work on some chore at the house.  I love this time we get to bond, making memories, just the two of us.

Then there are my other kiddos that aren't here as often: Chad's three that we try to see as much as we can (like the camping trip last weekend with 4 of our 5 kiddos):

Tori is driving already!  She is also doing well this year and looking forward to getting her license sooner than I like to think about, lol.  She seems to be enjoying her second year of high school and the social life it brings.

Rach is finishing up her last year of middle school and has outdone herself with her latest accomplishment with violin.  She is first row 2nd chair - what a high honor!  We are very proud of the fact she is excelling and putting her energy into something she loves, her talent with music.  (And Rach- I hope i have your chair listing correct!)

And then there's Drew.  Little rambunctious Drew that loves his electronics and his books.  So smart he amazes us all as he sails above the rest of his classmates in most of his subjects.

I pray for them daily and my hope is that they will continue to remember and acknowledge that each day, each decision, each defining moment leads them to the bigger picture that results from the choices they make.  I want the best for them but more than that - more than even I can imagine for them - I want God's best for them.  I pray they will also strive for what God has for their futures - His best.

Find yourself, keeping it real...

Kat

One boyfriend, one curfew, one text message at a time

While the debate is on in the background, I wanted to sit down and finally f.i.n.a.l.l.y. write another blog.  I have so much to share with my readers, but I will spare you the boring and only share the highlights.

The kiddos

Jas and Kass, the kiddos… I now refer to them in public as “the bigguns.”  They are growing up so fast I can’t keep up; and I am with them every day. (Well almost every day. But I digress <= already!)

Kass has a boyfriend. Seriously you don’t want me to get started on that point.  Trust me when I say, I am just going to leave it at that. And yes, she now has the “worst mother ever” because of the guidelines I have instructed about me being “in-the-know” regarding their conversations and “text messages.” (Can I just skip this part of her life and do a fast forward?!) Sadly if I did – she would be out of college and married after that blink.  Let the roller coaster ride begin, then.

Jas went to his homecoming dance. (Yes, can you believe a formal dance!) And he dressed for it: I have pictures to prove it. He is talking more and more about college plans, taking PSAT tests and I am still reminding him he needs to start applying for those ever lovely scholarships.  Can you believe I will be getting his senior portraits done in just 8 months?! Yeah, I need to stop before I hyperventilate.

The House/Move

Not sure if and/or when we will be moving/selling the house.  That seems to be in an “on hold” mode right now.  But with recent home improvement projects and “other” improvements on the list, we are still enjoying the process of making this one just like we want it.  My kiddos love living here.

Goals

I have been working on creating my goals for the next 5 years and trying to simplify exactly what that means from finances to my children’s spiritual growth.  One thing I do realize more and more each day is this parenting thing is tough.  Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s easy (even with two parents partnering together in one house). It gets tougher as they mature into these ‘tweens’ and teens; and sometimes I have to step back and ask God, “Can I do this?” Then I am reminded, “I can do all things, through Christ…” even when I feel like pulling my hair out.

Interjection here… I am watching the debate and it’s almost comical as they deliberate about “apples and oranges” for this 9-9-9 plan on the taxes.  That is all.

But in the meantime…day by day…

As I prepare for those goals and discuss my kiddos’ (the bigguns’) futures with them, we continue pressing on each day-- one at a time: one hairdo, one curfew, one text message, one XBox match, one girl scout session, one church service, one grade, one boyfriend, at-a-time.

Technorati Tags: teens,tweens,family time,college,scholarships,parenting,personal development,Faith,persistence

Funniest Christmas Moment 2010

We had a lot of fun this Christmas from making snowflakes to getting snow Christmas Eve.  We blended our traditions this year as Mr. M. and I plan possible future Christmases together.

But one moment sticks out in my mind as the funniest.

Mr. M’s sister and her family came in town the day after Christmas.  My kiddos had already left for their dad’s house the night Mr. M and I exchanged presents with her family.  I brought the gifts for Jas and Kass home with me for them to open when they returned later that week.

When Jas and Kass opened their presents from his sister’s family we were at our house.  When Jas opened his present he pulls out a box kit of Rice Krispy Holiday Treats Maker.  He looks at me with a look of bewilderment.  I said, “Well maybe she thought you like rice krispy treats, so we could make some.”  He said, “Okay,” and put the box aside under the tree.

Later that day, the neighbor and Kass’ dear friend, E came over to see what they had gotten.  When Kass started telling her about the gift from Mr. M’s sister… she showed E what Jas had received and that we thought it was funny (since Jas is almost 16).  E said, “There’s tape on this box.  Did you try to open it?”

Well I hadn’t seen the tape and he hadn’t tried to open it.  Jas came back into the room and opened the “Treats” box to find a cool hoody from Foot Locker inside.  It fit him great – and he loves it.  What a surprise!

I got so tickled over us thinking he got the treat making kit that I couldn’t stop laughing later when I shared the story with Mr. M.  His response: “What a dork.”

What’s your favorite funny moment from Christmas 2010?

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: Rice Krispies Treats,Christmas,Funny,family time,single moms,blending family,traditions

The Butterfly Effect

Did you know the slightest ripple of action can alter the earth’s atmosphere on the other side of the globe? 

Sounds farfetched. 

But this book provides examples of actual events, small tokens of doing the right thing that have resulted in an outcome drastically different from what ‘it could have been’ had these individuals not stepped up to the plate and taken action that made a real difference.  Even if the difference was something that person couldn’t realize but we see it centuries later.

Powerful, meaningful and yet a quick read; I read it aloud to my son and kept his interest and I’m hoping it made a true impact.  He’s 15 and loved the dialogue of the battle of Gettysburg.

Every moment counts.  This book just reminds us why.

It’s title: Butterfly Effect by Andy Andrews and here is a portion of its description from the publisher (Thomas Nelson):

Speaker and New York Times best-selling author Andy Andrews shares a compelling and powerful story about a decision one man made over a hundred years ago, and the ripple effect it’s had on us individually, and nationwide, today. It’s a story that will inspire courage and wisdom in the decisions we make, as well as affect the way we treat others through our lifetime. Andrews speaks over 100 times a year, and The Butterfly Effect is his #1 most requested story.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

I received a pdf version of this book, with the option of sharing a review.

Love, it moves me

He said I love you and it touched the deepest part of me.

Having a teenager is full of challenges.  I talk about them often.  My frustrations and my moments. Not necessarily my moments of overwhelming joy, just my moments.

To his credit, my teenage son is a good kid.  He is.  He just has his “moments.”

A couple months ago when we were at the lake celebrating Memorial Day, he was misbehaving like most big brothers do and was bullying his sister in the water.  She was fine, but he kept doing it and getting a reaction from her of course.  I didn’t realize how persistently he had been doing it since I only witnessed one episode in the water.  Later in conversation with the girls (Kass and her friend E) I realized there was more to it.  “I couldn’t believe you only had him to sit out of the water for 10 minutes when he was doing that to Kass,”  E said to me in that conversation.  I had only made him come out the one time I saw him pushing her around and dunking her in the water.  E told me he had been doing that most of the day.

With this new information I wondered how I would help Jas see the way more clearly.  When I mentioned the concern to Mr. M he gave me a brilliant idea.  “Have him write a paper as his punishment.” Let the punishment fit the crime.  Knowing Jas doesn’t like writing papers for school, I knew this would be punishment enough and the topic combination would be none other than “how people drown” and “teenage bullying.” That should cover it.  I wanted him to realize for himself that “messing around” in the water dunking someone or holding them under temporarily to be funny, was no laughing matter and could lead to something serious if someone panicked. 

So he had to write the paper before spending any time with friends or getting his laptop returned.  Long story short, he wrote the paper.  We went back to the lake, July 4th weekend and the incident was not repeated; not even once.

I’m not going to sit here and tell you “Yay for me,” I’ve got this raising teenagers thing down to a science.  Because quite simply, I don’t. I’m still learning. Every day.

The kiddos have been gone spending some time with their dad for three weeks.  To say I miss them is the understatement of the year. Yes, even with their “moments” I miss them. I have talked with them every couple of days since they have been gone.  Today, when I was talking to Jas, which usually lasts all of 45 seconds with each phone conversation, I ended with, “I love you.”  Normally he won’t say it, especially in front of his dad.  So consider my surprise when he said “I love you, too.”

It has happened before, if you read this post from 2008.  Yeah, 2008.  It’s been said at other times sporadically since then, that I haven’t blogged.  But still you can appreciate that it doesn’t happen often.

When he said those four words, it immensely touched the deepest part of my being.  I cannot articulate it better than to say… it moved me.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: discipline,teenagers,love,family time,parenting

A Day at the Lake

Part of our weekend celebration for Independence Day included a day at Smith Mountain Lake.  We tried a different community park this time: it wasn’t crowded and was very relaxing.  As the kiddos played in the lake, this butterfly got Jas’ attention so I grabbed the camera and caught it in mid-flight. 

He enjoyed trying to catch it literally.

I enjoyed catching him and one of God’s beautiful creations on film.  (Correction they are both God’s beautiful creations, just don’t tell him I got all sappy, ok?)

Earlier that day we were getting everything together and ready to head out.  The list included beach towels for each of us, sunscreen, a mat, plus my big beach blanket.  And I was able to get all of that into my new personalized beach tote I received for a review post from www.simply-bags.com.  I absolutely love it.

When they contacted me about doing a review on my blog, I had to stop and think about it for all of twenty seconds before I hit reply with a resounding “Absolutely!”  Totes are my weakness, I will admit and this one is my new fave.  It is not only roomy but it also zips across the top to keep all my goodies from falling out while carrying it across the sand.  We had quite a bit in there for our trip as you can see.

Our day was as full as the beach tote.  The kids had a blast.  Here’s Kass and our neighbor, E, enjoying the water…

I didn’t get any good pics of the guys…but

 

…I captured this other beauty that landed on my knee and beside me on the blanket several times. 

And of course, Mr. M, himself…(quite the catch isn’t he?)

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo credits: Katherine Shinault

Technorati Tags: beach totes,personalized bags,www.simply-bags.com,family time,holidays,lakes,vacation,photography,butterflies,dragonflies

A Life Lesson from LOST

Another Mom and Son Moment

“But what if the man in black is NOT the devil?”

My son asked this question as he went on to discuss Tuesday night’s episode of Lost.  He thinks it’s all going to be revealed as the reverse of what we have been led to believe at the end of the series.  He thinks the man in black is really the good guy and that Jacob represented the devil and so on… and that getting off the island for non-Locke(man in black) is a GOOD thing.

I don’t agree.  I think it is still Jacob (good) vs. man in black (smoke) non-Locke and I told Jas I choose to believe that if they allow Locke to get off the island, that Hell will be released as indicated by the bottle of wine comparison in Tuesday’s episode. 

Like I told him, it’s all about choices.  The whole show.  (Well that and redemption.) My choice is to believe in Jacob.  Jas just thinks Jacob is deceiving us all.

The Life Lesson

But this brought me to a great Life Lesson for Jas.  In talking about the possibility of the deceit between these characters in the show, Lost, I asked Jas.  “Do you know how people – the ones trained – know how to detect counterfeit money?”

Jas said, “They study the different kinds.”

“Nope,” I said. “They study the real thing and know it so well, backwards and forwards and every detail about it; so that when someone tries to slip in a counterfeit that is really close to the real thing- but isn’t, they know it.”

Then I said, “You already know…Jesus is the real deal.”

“This show is a reminder that it’s important to know the real deal (Him)– and know what He stood for, know it so well, that when someone tries to tell you something about Him (or about going to heaven) that is ‘close’ but not the real deal, you’ll know it.”

Ok, was that a good ‘mom and son’ life lesson sharing together inspiring moment, or what?

He started talking about Lost again, but I think he got the point.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Technorati Tags: Lost series,ABC,LOST,Jesus,life lessons,personal development,parenting,deceit,counterfeit

Conversations of Conspiracy

Jas: Did you have your milk?

me: yes

Jas: Oh (as he is making his cereal)

me: You can use up the rest of the milk if you need to.

Jas: No, I don’t like the last part of the milk.

me: What?

Jas: It gets nasty at the bottom of the jug.

me: Why would you say that?  Nobody puts their mouth on the bottle.

Jas: The bottom.  It just does – and I always end up with the last part of the milk.  How is that?

me: We save it for you, Jas.  We see that it’s getting almost empty and say – I am going to save this for Jas.  Yep. That’s what we do.  (He found us out. It’s a conspiracy against him and the milk.)

***

And you know that is truth, because I have nothing more important or captivating going on in my world so I definitely have time to calculate when the milk is about to run out – and strategically save that last 8-10 ounces for him every time we go through a gallon.  Which is about twice a week. Yep.  And I was wondering why I haven’t had time for other things like:  counting the seeds in the jar of pickles or how many layers remain on the onions in the pantry.  Where are my priorities?  Now I know. 

The world can be a better place… the mystery has been solved for Jas and his milk debacle.

Find yourself…keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: milk,conversations,communication,conspiracy,sarcasm

Photo Credit: stockvault.net/freeimageslive

Abandon Ship or Toss Him Overboard!?

GE3F6BSE4UUD  (Technorati Claim Token)

Jump Overboard

How many times have you wanted to jump ship?  Have you ever said – “That’s it! Enough is enough!”?

No I don’t mean on your relationship with your significant other (even though that relationship is what I have been focusing on this month); I mean with your kiddos!

The Boiling Point

Many times I have found myself at that pressure point: boiling; as they have gotten on my last nerve when it comes to reminding, reprimanding, and refereeing a set of siblings.  Just yesterday I wanted to either strangle my teenager, toss him overboard, or drive off and not come back…. for a long time.

Now I would NEVER actually follow through on these crazy notions, mind you, but it’s no rarity that this happens while parenting, working fulltime and wearing all the other hats we do as parents… especially as a single parent.  So what is the answer?  How do we cope?

Life Wheel – Out the Window!

At that point when I found myself getting hotter and hotter and my voice was rising higher and higher I just wanted to take that life wheel of balance and chuck it out the window.  So keeping things in balance wasn’t helping in that moment.

Reflection

Of course, later that night when I reflected on the moment and my reaction, (my despairing and loud crazy woman kind of reaction) I was disappointed.  I regretted that I let the pressure get the best of me and push me past my “point.”  I prayed, “Change me, Lord.”  I want to react better to my kiddos when I’ve had it “up to here.”

It’s all about choices.

I don’t always make the best ones.

Good News

But the good news is, He still loves me.

And that’s the point.

My kids may disappoint me too – pushing me past my “point.” But I still love them  - and yes indeed, very much.  And realizing that God still loves me as well– even when I get bent out of shape at times… makes me feel better about my own “disappointing reactions.”

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit: PhotoXpress.com/MAXFX

Technorati Tags: relationships,parenting,love,choices,disappointing oneself,God's love,stress,pressure,reactions,raised voice

In Honor of My Oldest Child

Today is the BIG Project Forum at Jas’ Governor’s School.  Finally!  This day has been postponed twice because of recent snow storms.  But Jas definitely was favored with the crazy weather – because it gave him two additional weeks to complete the final details on his project.  This was because he stayed true to himself with being quite the procrastinator. 

The project looks great though and it is all setup at the facility and we are about to take him over for his interviews before the forum is open to the public.  Later awards are given out. 

In honor of his project day, I thought I would share one of Jas’ fave comedians, Brian Regan as he talks about a ‘typical’ science fair morning.  Well typical for us around our house… we love this:

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: science fair,project forum,Governor's School,procrastination

WOW, That’s a Low Price

Emotional Night of Retrospect

Last week Jas turned 15. Yes you read correctly; my oldest is fifteen years old.  I used to tell people I had him at the age of 12…(tongue in cheek) because it makes me feel “slightly” old to have a teenager for a son.  Since I am refusing to get old… I will just say slightly.   That was an emotional night for me.

I enjoyed taking the kiddos and Mr. M out for a birthday dinner celebration.  We had a super time together.  It wasn’t that.  I just started thinking after I went to bed that night about all those years ago when he was just a toddler, my little boy.  It made my heart ache.  Watching them grow up so fast really gets to me sometimes. 

In three years he will be going off to college and I am crying at the thought of him turning 15 – by then I will be a basket case.  Where is my counselor?  We need to prepare for this.

Entertainment in Kroger

Tonight after we went out for pizza, we all went to the grocery store.  I needed some things (and still ended up forgetting the batteries I needed for the smoke detectors). – Remind me to tell you about that story sometime.  One started going off at 2:30 am last night and I ended up taking down all three around my room before I found the culprit! And I do digress.  Where were we? Oh, so we were at the grocery store.  Any time I take both kiddos with me to any store I am reminded why I try to do this as a solo activity.  Can you relate?

Jas got stuck on the new Staples commercial and ended up reciting the line from it all over the store.  Not kidding.  And loudly so.  You haven’t seen it? Check my link below.  This is what he was doing all through Kroger.  But I do love him…

Oh and for the sake of the FTC, this is not a sponsored blog.  I just like shopping at Kroger and this is my son’s latest fave commercial.

Find yourself…keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: Kroger,Staples,emotions,birthdays,Single moms,teenagers,commercials

Video Credit: YouTube\stapleschannel

Teens and Drugs – Dare you ask?

Today over on www.TWITTERMOMS.com I participated with a posted discussion question:

Would you ask your teen whether he's using drugs?

My answer:

Definitely! You have to continually - on a daily basis - keep your teen engaged. Don't just ask the hard questions, keep communication open by asking and staying informed about their lives in general – E.V.E.R.Y.D.A.Y.  Yes, with hard questions, you might get the 'attitude'; but in the grand scheme of things - SO WHAT!

Keeping your teens away from drugs and smart about their choices – because they know they are accountable to you as a parent IS YOUR JOB.

Don't hesitate to talk to your teenager. I make it a point to let my son, Jas (14) know that he can tell me anything.... A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G. and that I will refrain from - reacting with shock or over-reacting in general. I want him to know he can talk to me - not only is it an option... I want him to feel inclined to talk to me.  I can’t stress this enough.

Find out what your teen is interested in... beside video games and iPods and talk to them about their interests... research and get brushed up on "did you know" kind of trivia about those topics that interest them.... try it!!!

Keep them engaged - no matter what it takes – then… the hard questions - won't be so.... hard to ask.

How do you feel about talking to your teens about drugs…. about anything for that matter?

Share your thoughts.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit: http://www.softchalk.com/lessonchallenge/lesson/Pharmacology/prescription_drugs.jpg

Technorati Tags: teenage years,teenagers,teens,drugs,drug use,parenting teens,communication,interests,relationships

Brand New School, Stages, and Cheerleaders, OH My

I sat in the brand spanking new auditorium/amphitheater amongst freshmen students and a few parents scattered here and there Thursday for the freshmen orientation.  Jas will be starting high school Tuesday, and he is a part of history as his is the first class to start in the brand new school that was just built and opened for the first time this school year.  It had been my high school back in the day… but now with all the classes, theaters, credit union branch, and cafeteria inside the new building it was a totally new world.

The drum line started the orientation with a presentation on stage that was quite impressive followed by cheerleaders… doing their thing – their bouncy, flouncy, jiggy with it, thing.  Yes I know I am officially a mom… and officially a mom of a son when I found myself wanting to run up on stage and share with one of those girls what a support bra was.  I found it difficult not to stare at her with the fitted white tee … while she bounced (literally) all over the stage.  Why would they put her on the front row when there were four rows of girls up there dancing and doing routines?  I mean they were all in fitted tees and skinny jeans, but she had the “bouncing” going o-v-e-r-board.

Ok, I digress….

Otherwise, the day went great.  Jas has most of his classes with the other three Governor School students that were accepted from his middle school.  That day I experienced it with him as his shadow… going to all the classes he will have at the high school before transporting over to G.S. for the rest of the day.  It was chaos and the new building is well laid out and absolutely awesome  but it’s about a fourth of a mile from the front lobby over to the freshmen wing… so we did a lot of walking.

I let my mind wander and I began to worry about all the things my fourteen year old will have to face with growing up, starting high school, and all the temptations that come with boys and their teenage years.  But I also reminded myself… I have done the best I could to get him to this point, I have tried to instill in him a foundation of faith and morals as well as respect for those over him.  And I have an open door of communication that he knows is there and we use it when we can with each other.  (I like to know what he’s thinking.)  Now I guess… the rest is up to him.  Yes I plan to still be there to encourage him and remind him of the very things I have taught him… but in many ways… I have to let go now…. a little more…. for this next stage of his life. 

But it’s so hard.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit: http://wwwdelivery.superstock.com/WI/223/1433/PreviewComp/SuperStock_1433R-947491.jpg

Technorati Tags: teenage years,cheerleaders,high school,parenting,governor's School,growing up years,stages of life

I Loathe Having These

After the kiddos spent several days last week cleaning out their rooms to make space for their new school stuff we just bought… they wanted to make some money by “selling” the junk gently used items. 

Let me just say… I hate yard sales… but I didn’t want to disappoint my little entrepreneurs.  They made signs and organized all their “stuff” getting ready for the big day.  Being so excited, I wanted to soften their expectations and told them not to be disappointed if they didn’t make huge profits from setting out their gently used items.

Now when I say I detest these little endeavors… I mean they make me feel about the same way as that dream nightmare when you end up back at school looking for a classroom you can’t find to have a test you are not even slightly prepared for and you finally find it – only to realize you are naked – because you also forgot to put on any clothes that morning.

But even with my little fetish about having them… I got up bright and early Saturday morning… and helped the kiddos set out all their junk stuff.  I even found a couple lamps and kitchen items to set out on display… for the whole neighborhood to see what we consider not good enough anymore for how we live inside our little dwelling we call home… 

Aaaah…. the lovely wait for customers began. 

The kid’s anticipation and excitement quickly turned to impatience as we had one, two, then three customers.  One decided to buy… but got a steal because I let the kiddos decided on prices for their stuff. 

Then we sat some more…. and waited…

and waited…

By 10:30 am the kiddos were so disappointed at the lack of customers and non-profits that they asked me if we could pack up early and take it to the goodwill.  They didn’t have to ask me twice!  I started helping them get it all back into boxes and loaded up in the SUV.

A trip to the goodwill…. and we were done.

I think that was the best yard sale I have ever had! 

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: yardsales,children,customers,goodwill

Photo Credit: http://www.northkingstown.org/Town_clerk/yardsale.gif

Jas

Jas

Here is my firstborn, my eldest son, my only son, my teenage source of stress at times, and the reason I think I am getting a bald spot on the back of my head.

I love him more than I can express, but he hates to have me take his picture... and you know how I am about my camera!

So it goes without saying.... I love this photo of him... hanging out at the pool while we stayed at the resort last week. (He didn't even know I was taking his pic here.)  He enjoyed being there... even though you can't see it on his face.

Oh and as promised, I will be giving you all the details by Friday of this week about the contest for the Free Wii Gaming System and more.  So don't forget to check back on Friday....

Oh and to all my relatives out there that read my blog... I don't mind if you enter the contest with your tips and advice but.....you... can't... win.  It's part of the rules that no relatives of mine can win the contest held on my blogsite.  Bummer, I know.  But hey - you get a prize too.... being related to me!  Just kidding....

Find yourself... keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: vacation,pool,sons,teenage years

Underage on MySpace

What are your thoughts of youngsters having MySpace pages?

My son "had" one.  I started him one over a year ago when he was thirteen, that I set up and planned to monitor.  He then had me to delete 'that one' because he made one on his own with a friend's help at the library.  Nice.

So every other month or so.... I would go on and look at his page.  (At least he befriended me, so I could view it.)  But to my surprise, during a recent visit... there were some "foul" words being used on some of his 'posters'/jokes he had on his page.  I didn't approve of certain things, so I asked him 'calmly' to take them off and I would be happy. 

(As most fourteen year old boys would) he got upset and said it was 'his space'.  I proceeded to explain to him that as his parent I have a right to monitor his "space" and that I could take action to delete the page if necessary with the 'MySpace' police. 

So I gave him another week. 

No change on his page. 

So with the help of MySpace, I had it deleted.

Was I too harsh?  Should I let him have "his space?"

I would love your feedback on this mean mom action.  I like to think I am the type of open minded parent that allows some liberties for the kids to enjoy... some privileges and some independence that they wouldn't have otherwise.  But then there are times like these when I have "put my foot" down because - I choose my battles and this was one of them. 

The page has been deleted by the very cooperative MySpace customer service for a few weeks now... and Jas didn't even notice until more than a month went by.  At least now I know it was of no real importance. Although when he realized what I did, he created a new page which I have set to my favorites so that I can monitor what is viewable... and so far he has kept it just as I would allow it, meaning I have no problem with it.  But I would still love to get your feedback on just how far you think parents should go when it comes to MySpace.  Because I am ready to have MySpace police step in again if need be.... as many times as necessary if he breaks the rules on what I would allow on the page.

Maybe the bigger issue here is the fact he would even want such things I disapprove of on the site to begin with.  Why he didn't want to remove the specific "funny" jokes from his earlier page is beyond me.  But I am hoping this is a stage.... and that it will be over soon.

TEENAGERS!

What do you think?

Find yourself... keeping it real.

Photo Credit:  Tom, CEO from Myspace: http://usatomorrownews.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/tom-myspace.jpg

Technorati Tags: teenage years,MySpace,internet,websites,boys,parenting teens

The Stresses of Raising a 14 Year Old

  

Stressed.

Word for the day, today... is stressed.  You know Jas is just getting over strep, right and that he will be starting Governor's school in the fall, right?

Meanwhile, (and yes he is feeling better) we get a letter from his upcoming Physics teacher from GS and he has a summer assignment!  A lengthy one.

No big deal, right?  He has all summer.

But he doesn't.... He stays almost the entire month of August with his dad. (Mind you he will not get anything productive/school related work done while there....since his dad is not exactly encouraging the whole GS thing anyway.)  And we go on vacation on July 6 for a week.  So he has exactly two weeks left in this month and three weeks after our vacation left in July.  So he needs to get busy, right?

Well, that's how I would logically consider the calendar.... but he (Jas) is having a hard time buckling down to do research and get this project behind him... because he just finished school!

We are emailing a few ideas back to the Physics teacher... and hoping we are at least getting him started on the right track.

Pray I don't pull my hair out.... or his hair out... in the process.

Oh the joys.... GS has already begun.... and it's not even September yet!

Don't you love how I can go from being totally elated to being totally stressed in one week!?

************************

Find yourself... keeping it real.

photo credit: http://gain11.com/Portals/0/Images/Woman%20Pulliing%20Hair%20Out.jpg

Technorati Tags: teenage years,single moms

unbelievable

Jas has strep throat. And now I wonder if I do since he has the same symptoms I had 2 weeks ago and I continue with a cough and the feeling of being run-down.  So now I have started on an antibiotic and yesterday... when we missed his graduation ceremony because he felt so bad... the doctor started him on an antibiotic.

I had written another post last night to put up this AM but when I got the call from the MD this AM that Jas indeed had a positive result come back on the overnight lab test for Strep... I decided to post this quick blurp.  (Since my post last night references that the initial testing for strep was negative.)

Here's a little info on prevention just thought I would share from http://kidshealth.org/parent/infections/lung/strep_throat.html#

To prevent your sick child from spreading strep throat to others in your home, keep his or her eating utensils, dishes, and drinking glasses separate from those that everyone else is using. Wash them in hot, soapy water after each use. Also, make sure your child doesn't share food, drinks, napkins, handkerchiefs, or towels with other family members.
Make sure your child covers his or her mouth and nose during a sneeze or a cough to prevent passing infectious fluid droplets to someone else. Also, throw out your child's toothbrush after the antibiotic treatment has been started and he or she is no longer contagious, and make sure your child uses a new one.

Yeah and don't you know my fourteen year old is going to be this courteous about trying not to spread his germs.

But we are going to separate his dishes and change out his toothbrush. 

And please please pray Kass doesn't get it!

Find yourself... keeping it real.

Day at the Zoo

Just a few pictures from our Memorial Day at the zoo in North Carolina.  In attendance:  Mr. M. and his two sons; my sister, Mary, her husband, Keith, their three girls, and his mom; me and my two kiddos.  Quite the gang... but we had a good time and gave the animals something to stare at.

Several of the kids in our gang... playing on the viewer at the giraffes area.

I just thought this was a cool pic... with the sky and the rocks and the water...

Here Kass is hatching...

Do they have a cage big enough for these monkeys!?

He is just a big kid at heart.... Jas... as we all rode the merry-go-round.

The End.....

Photo Credits... all mine.

Technorati Tags: photography,animals,zoo,trips,vacation

Find yourself... keeping it real.

Belated Happy Mother's Day

Yesterday was Mother's Day.  And no, I didn't forget.  But after going to church yesterday morning and having lunch with my family and my sister's family... I went home and did absolutely nothing... except chill on the couch, nap (in and out as the kiddos came in and out) and read.  It was a totally relaxing afternoon and evening.  So I also didn't get to post a blog for you yesterday....

Z ...   Z...   Z......

I hope you other moms out there reading my blog... got to do the same thing - relax.

But my Happy Mother's Day wish to all of you moms..... is a day late.

Kass made me a card and gave me some nail polish... we plan to do each other's nails soon....so I can share a pic or two and you can see the color she gave me.  Jas of course isn't the card giving kind... but he is a guy... ya know.

And since I didn't get all creative and write a poem or a special post for my mom... (that will be coming later, I hope); I wanted to share with you a poem for moms that Donald Miller shared on his recent blog, "The Lanyard" by Billy Collins.  Go on over to that link and check it out.

Hope your day was wonderful.  Mine sure was. 

So now relaxing is over and it's time for me to get back to it!

Find yourself... keeping it real. 

Technorati Tags: sleeping,relaxing,naps,children,Donald Miller,Mother's Day,cards