Each Day, Each Decision, Each Defining Moment

I'm so proud of my kiddos, my treasures.  They make me crazy at times. I don't need to go there, but they are also making me quite proud.

Jas is off to college and seems to be settling in.  He's been home only once and I like that he is getting a feel for being on his own and doing things on his own - even though I know he is hanging with his friends and even staying over in their dorm - instead of his own suite.... but that's a story for another day about his room mate.  At the very least he is developing a routine and getting into the groove of the work expected of him; and so far I haven't gotten any sobbing phone calls in the middle of the night - begging to come home for good. (knock on wood)

Kass has started high school and is really doing well.  We moved, which placed her in a different high school from her brother - actually the one she wanted to attend - and she loves it.  She is so grown up that it is even shocking sometimes to me.  We hang out in the evenings during the week, make dinner together and work on some chore at the house.  I love this time we get to bond, making memories, just the two of us.

Then there are my other kiddos that aren't here as often: Chad's three that we try to see as much as we can (like the camping trip last weekend with 4 of our 5 kiddos):

Tori is driving already!  She is also doing well this year and looking forward to getting her license sooner than I like to think about, lol.  She seems to be enjoying her second year of high school and the social life it brings.

Rach is finishing up her last year of middle school and has outdone herself with her latest accomplishment with violin.  She is first row 2nd chair - what a high honor!  We are very proud of the fact she is excelling and putting her energy into something she loves, her talent with music.  (And Rach- I hope i have your chair listing correct!)

And then there's Drew.  Little rambunctious Drew that loves his electronics and his books.  So smart he amazes us all as he sails above the rest of his classmates in most of his subjects.

I pray for them daily and my hope is that they will continue to remember and acknowledge that each day, each decision, each defining moment leads them to the bigger picture that results from the choices they make.  I want the best for them but more than that - more than even I can imagine for them - I want God's best for them.  I pray they will also strive for what God has for their futures - His best.

Find yourself, keeping it real...

Kat

Organized for back-to-school? What?

Photo: tipjunky.com

Organized for back to school?

Yes, I have a freshman starting at Virginia Tech in about three weeks and I have a freshman starting at her new high school in about 2 weeks.

But I can't even get unpacked and get our lives organized enough to find my comb and the extra body wash I bought months ago. Who can think about gearing up to get organized for back to school?

Maybe this will be the push I need to put it into high gear so that we can finalize the unpacking and getting the house setup.  Jas will be moving "again" and Kass will be wanting new school clothes... so I guess we better get to work!

The house is in "reno" mode with constant progress being made nonetheless.  The floors turned out great - thanks to my charming and... he has moved on to the stairwell wallpaper/walls.  All six layers of it to get down to the plaster.  But underneath that mass of filthy unbelievable wallpaper we are seeing walls and we know that soon we can apply primer and then our choice of color!

I am excited about the progress and I am excited about what God has already done for us - blessing after blessing in this house of our dreams.  However, with so many things that need to be done on the house, I am finding myself frequently in a true "overwhelming" state of mind.  And with the kids going in two different directions with new schools and new seasons starting for their lives - it has been a diversion. Perhaps it's a good diversion, just perhaps.

But I have reminded myself often: "When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I." Psalm 61:2b

...And I am comforted by His grace, His presence, His faithfulness, and His peace... every time... every.single.overwhelming.time.

My DOTMOM Eyes

 

I am trying out a new site to post about my day-to-day joys along this journey as a single mom, a position/status that will be changing in the near future.

Don't worry, I will still be posting at this site (SOLO dot MOM) but also hope you will check out the new tumbler - at http://dotmom.tumblr.com titled: "My DOTMOM Eyes" and check out the latest happenings in my world.

Let me know what you think....

Share a comment below or share a comment at the new site: My DOT MOM Eyes.

Find yourself... keeping it real.
SOLO dot MOM

One boyfriend, one curfew, one text message at a time

While the debate is on in the background, I wanted to sit down and finally f.i.n.a.l.l.y. write another blog.  I have so much to share with my readers, but I will spare you the boring and only share the highlights.

The kiddos

Jas and Kass, the kiddos… I now refer to them in public as “the bigguns.”  They are growing up so fast I can’t keep up; and I am with them every day. (Well almost every day. But I digress <= already!)

Kass has a boyfriend. Seriously you don’t want me to get started on that point.  Trust me when I say, I am just going to leave it at that. And yes, she now has the “worst mother ever” because of the guidelines I have instructed about me being “in-the-know” regarding their conversations and “text messages.” (Can I just skip this part of her life and do a fast forward?!) Sadly if I did – she would be out of college and married after that blink.  Let the roller coaster ride begin, then.

Jas went to his homecoming dance. (Yes, can you believe a formal dance!) And he dressed for it: I have pictures to prove it. He is talking more and more about college plans, taking PSAT tests and I am still reminding him he needs to start applying for those ever lovely scholarships.  Can you believe I will be getting his senior portraits done in just 8 months?! Yeah, I need to stop before I hyperventilate.

The House/Move

Not sure if and/or when we will be moving/selling the house.  That seems to be in an “on hold” mode right now.  But with recent home improvement projects and “other” improvements on the list, we are still enjoying the process of making this one just like we want it.  My kiddos love living here.

Goals

I have been working on creating my goals for the next 5 years and trying to simplify exactly what that means from finances to my children’s spiritual growth.  One thing I do realize more and more each day is this parenting thing is tough.  Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s easy (even with two parents partnering together in one house). It gets tougher as they mature into these ‘tweens’ and teens; and sometimes I have to step back and ask God, “Can I do this?” Then I am reminded, “I can do all things, through Christ…” even when I feel like pulling my hair out.

Interjection here… I am watching the debate and it’s almost comical as they deliberate about “apples and oranges” for this 9-9-9 plan on the taxes.  That is all.

But in the meantime…day by day…

As I prepare for those goals and discuss my kiddos’ (the bigguns’) futures with them, we continue pressing on each day-- one at a time: one hairdo, one curfew, one text message, one XBox match, one girl scout session, one church service, one grade, one boyfriend, at-a-time.

Technorati Tags: teens,tweens,family time,college,scholarships,parenting,personal development,Faith,persistence

The Magic of Disney World

To take you away from the recent gloom and doom in the news from the stock market decline to London’s riots and Philadelphia’s youth vandalizing (What’s up with that, right?), let me share with you some sense of escape for a few minutes about a magical place…

We have now returned from our “magical” vacation.  This is the one I have wanted to take the kiddos on since they were young and finally was successful doing so.  Even though they fought like cats and dogs  - yes they don’t get along right now at the tender ages of being a tween and teen on the brink of adulthood. But between their disagreements on rides, and where to eat and… and… and… we had a great time. Sincerely, we did.

They also flew for the first time and we were impressed with Allegiant Air, with their prices and their services, so I will give them a shout out here. Kass was the unlucky one in our group randomly chosen for the extra security check: But she did great and didn’t freak out! Can you believe it?

Jas now says he is meant to travel.  He loved flying and even considered the possibility of making Florida his home someday… well maybe.  And to his own surprise, he found some rides that he enjoyed amongst the many parks we visited during the trip, between Disney’s Epcot, Magic Kingdom and Animal Kingdom and especially at Universal Islands of Adventure.

Kass tried a roller coaster  at Magic Kingdom and enjoyed it!  She even had her hands up on the 50 foot drop! However, when we ventured out and did the Expedition Everest Coaster in Animal Kingdom---even I thought it was intense; and now she says she will not get on another coaster again.  Oh well.

Mr. M and his boys joined us on the trip.  (No worries, they had a separate hotel room, people.) The four kiddos actually got along pretty well, except for the few times they seemed to gang up on and pick on Kass… with three boys and one tween girl, what do you expect, right?  But for the most part they did great together.

Here are a few pics from the trip for your enjoyment:

       

 

There are plenty more where those came from.  I will keep you posted of when I load the album designated just for Disney….

Love, it moves me

He said I love you and it touched the deepest part of me.

Having a teenager is full of challenges.  I talk about them often.  My frustrations and my moments. Not necessarily my moments of overwhelming joy, just my moments.

To his credit, my teenage son is a good kid.  He is.  He just has his “moments.”

A couple months ago when we were at the lake celebrating Memorial Day, he was misbehaving like most big brothers do and was bullying his sister in the water.  She was fine, but he kept doing it and getting a reaction from her of course.  I didn’t realize how persistently he had been doing it since I only witnessed one episode in the water.  Later in conversation with the girls (Kass and her friend E) I realized there was more to it.  “I couldn’t believe you only had him to sit out of the water for 10 minutes when he was doing that to Kass,”  E said to me in that conversation.  I had only made him come out the one time I saw him pushing her around and dunking her in the water.  E told me he had been doing that most of the day.

With this new information I wondered how I would help Jas see the way more clearly.  When I mentioned the concern to Mr. M he gave me a brilliant idea.  “Have him write a paper as his punishment.” Let the punishment fit the crime.  Knowing Jas doesn’t like writing papers for school, I knew this would be punishment enough and the topic combination would be none other than “how people drown” and “teenage bullying.” That should cover it.  I wanted him to realize for himself that “messing around” in the water dunking someone or holding them under temporarily to be funny, was no laughing matter and could lead to something serious if someone panicked. 

So he had to write the paper before spending any time with friends or getting his laptop returned.  Long story short, he wrote the paper.  We went back to the lake, July 4th weekend and the incident was not repeated; not even once.

I’m not going to sit here and tell you “Yay for me,” I’ve got this raising teenagers thing down to a science.  Because quite simply, I don’t. I’m still learning. Every day.

The kiddos have been gone spending some time with their dad for three weeks.  To say I miss them is the understatement of the year. Yes, even with their “moments” I miss them. I have talked with them every couple of days since they have been gone.  Today, when I was talking to Jas, which usually lasts all of 45 seconds with each phone conversation, I ended with, “I love you.”  Normally he won’t say it, especially in front of his dad.  So consider my surprise when he said “I love you, too.”

It has happened before, if you read this post from 2008.  Yeah, 2008.  It’s been said at other times sporadically since then, that I haven’t blogged.  But still you can appreciate that it doesn’t happen often.

When he said those four words, it immensely touched the deepest part of my being.  I cannot articulate it better than to say… it moved me.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: discipline,teenagers,love,family time,parenting

He’s getting older…and wants to drive

Jas has been bringing up the driving thing lately.  Not that I wasn’t expecting it. He turned 15 several months ago and is just weeks away from being old enough for his learner’s.

But this is the part of his growing up I have been dreading.  You know, since he was two and started riding a big-wheel I have hated the thought of him driving.

It’s not even so much about the expenses involved like buying a car, a car insurance policy, or paying for gas.  Although, I have included these items in our conversations so he understands the reality of that next step. Perhaps he should get quotes for insurance on teenage drivers to fully realize the magnitude of driving.

But my bigger concern is simply the hugeness of this step into independence.  He will be officially growing up when he has a driver’s license and a car.  Plus I know what is inevitable.  Once he is driving, it won’t be, “I wonder if he is going to have an accident,” but “when.”

Not that I want to sound morbid or negative, (I know I am sounding morbid and negative) but I am just preparing for the reality of my baby driving out there on those busy streets where all the crazies are.

Maybe instead of wanting to drive he could come to me and say he wants to start a business in California.  Then we could just all move to California with him, discuss getting insurance for business in California and put my mind at ease about this whole driving thing.  Seriously, I would much rather be getting rates for business insurance.

Yeah, I know… dreaming. (Now who’s crazy?)  Instead of looking into business insurance information, I need to start looking into a good deal for a used vehicle, the best deal for teenage drivers insurance, and sending up many prayers for travel mercies.

What are your fears about your baby growing up into adulthood?

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit: Katherine Shinault

Disclaimer:  This post was brought to you by your friends at localinsurance.com.