Each Day, Each Decision, Each Defining Moment

I'm so proud of my kiddos, my treasures.  They make me crazy at times. I don't need to go there, but they are also making me quite proud.

Jas is off to college and seems to be settling in.  He's been home only once and I like that he is getting a feel for being on his own and doing things on his own - even though I know he is hanging with his friends and even staying over in their dorm - instead of his own suite.... but that's a story for another day about his room mate.  At the very least he is developing a routine and getting into the groove of the work expected of him; and so far I haven't gotten any sobbing phone calls in the middle of the night - begging to come home for good. (knock on wood)

Kass has started high school and is really doing well.  We moved, which placed her in a different high school from her brother - actually the one she wanted to attend - and she loves it.  She is so grown up that it is even shocking sometimes to me.  We hang out in the evenings during the week, make dinner together and work on some chore at the house.  I love this time we get to bond, making memories, just the two of us.

Then there are my other kiddos that aren't here as often: Chad's three that we try to see as much as we can (like the camping trip last weekend with 4 of our 5 kiddos):

Tori is driving already!  She is also doing well this year and looking forward to getting her license sooner than I like to think about, lol.  She seems to be enjoying her second year of high school and the social life it brings.

Rach is finishing up her last year of middle school and has outdone herself with her latest accomplishment with violin.  She is first row 2nd chair - what a high honor!  We are very proud of the fact she is excelling and putting her energy into something she loves, her talent with music.  (And Rach- I hope i have your chair listing correct!)

And then there's Drew.  Little rambunctious Drew that loves his electronics and his books.  So smart he amazes us all as he sails above the rest of his classmates in most of his subjects.

I pray for them daily and my hope is that they will continue to remember and acknowledge that each day, each decision, each defining moment leads them to the bigger picture that results from the choices they make.  I want the best for them but more than that - more than even I can imagine for them - I want God's best for them.  I pray they will also strive for what God has for their futures - His best.

Find yourself, keeping it real...

Kat

Organized for back-to-school? What?

Photo: tipjunky.com

Organized for back to school?

Yes, I have a freshman starting at Virginia Tech in about three weeks and I have a freshman starting at her new high school in about 2 weeks.

But I can't even get unpacked and get our lives organized enough to find my comb and the extra body wash I bought months ago. Who can think about gearing up to get organized for back to school?

Maybe this will be the push I need to put it into high gear so that we can finalize the unpacking and getting the house setup.  Jas will be moving "again" and Kass will be wanting new school clothes... so I guess we better get to work!

The house is in "reno" mode with constant progress being made nonetheless.  The floors turned out great - thanks to my charming and... he has moved on to the stairwell wallpaper/walls.  All six layers of it to get down to the plaster.  But underneath that mass of filthy unbelievable wallpaper we are seeing walls and we know that soon we can apply primer and then our choice of color!

I am excited about the progress and I am excited about what God has already done for us - blessing after blessing in this house of our dreams.  However, with so many things that need to be done on the house, I am finding myself frequently in a true "overwhelming" state of mind.  And with the kids going in two different directions with new schools and new seasons starting for their lives - it has been a diversion. Perhaps it's a good diversion, just perhaps.

But I have reminded myself often: "When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I." Psalm 61:2b

...And I am comforted by His grace, His presence, His faithfulness, and His peace... every time... every.single.overwhelming.time.

My DOTMOM Eyes

 

I am trying out a new site to post about my day-to-day joys along this journey as a single mom, a position/status that will be changing in the near future.

Don't worry, I will still be posting at this site (SOLO dot MOM) but also hope you will check out the new tumbler - at http://dotmom.tumblr.com titled: "My DOTMOM Eyes" and check out the latest happenings in my world.

Let me know what you think....

Share a comment below or share a comment at the new site: My DOT MOM Eyes.

Find yourself... keeping it real.
SOLO dot MOM

One boyfriend, one curfew, one text message at a time

While the debate is on in the background, I wanted to sit down and finally f.i.n.a.l.l.y. write another blog.  I have so much to share with my readers, but I will spare you the boring and only share the highlights.

The kiddos

Jas and Kass, the kiddos… I now refer to them in public as “the bigguns.”  They are growing up so fast I can’t keep up; and I am with them every day. (Well almost every day. But I digress <= already!)

Kass has a boyfriend. Seriously you don’t want me to get started on that point.  Trust me when I say, I am just going to leave it at that. And yes, she now has the “worst mother ever” because of the guidelines I have instructed about me being “in-the-know” regarding their conversations and “text messages.” (Can I just skip this part of her life and do a fast forward?!) Sadly if I did – she would be out of college and married after that blink.  Let the roller coaster ride begin, then.

Jas went to his homecoming dance. (Yes, can you believe a formal dance!) And he dressed for it: I have pictures to prove it. He is talking more and more about college plans, taking PSAT tests and I am still reminding him he needs to start applying for those ever lovely scholarships.  Can you believe I will be getting his senior portraits done in just 8 months?! Yeah, I need to stop before I hyperventilate.

The House/Move

Not sure if and/or when we will be moving/selling the house.  That seems to be in an “on hold” mode right now.  But with recent home improvement projects and “other” improvements on the list, we are still enjoying the process of making this one just like we want it.  My kiddos love living here.

Goals

I have been working on creating my goals for the next 5 years and trying to simplify exactly what that means from finances to my children’s spiritual growth.  One thing I do realize more and more each day is this parenting thing is tough.  Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s easy (even with two parents partnering together in one house). It gets tougher as they mature into these ‘tweens’ and teens; and sometimes I have to step back and ask God, “Can I do this?” Then I am reminded, “I can do all things, through Christ…” even when I feel like pulling my hair out.

Interjection here… I am watching the debate and it’s almost comical as they deliberate about “apples and oranges” for this 9-9-9 plan on the taxes.  That is all.

But in the meantime…day by day…

As I prepare for those goals and discuss my kiddos’ (the bigguns’) futures with them, we continue pressing on each day-- one at a time: one hairdo, one curfew, one text message, one XBox match, one girl scout session, one church service, one grade, one boyfriend, at-a-time.

Technorati Tags: teens,tweens,family time,college,scholarships,parenting,personal development,Faith,persistence

The Final Summit

After reading The Final Summit, I was intrigued.  Not only were facts from history included that I had never heard revealed but I also enjoyed the concept of having so many great men (and women) in the same room passionately solving the greatest problem of humanity.

Andy Andrews puts life into perspective and brings history to life similar to his recent book, The Butterfly Effect.  In my younger years, I never enjoyed reading history books or history classes; but this book, full of facts and quotes, would have brought even me out of a fog of boredom when reading the relevance of each historical character and their contribution to our current day’s prosperity.

My favorite historical reference was the life of Eric Erickson.  What boldness and humbleness it must have taken, ironically combined, for someone to live with each moment being a new risk like he did, along with his wife.  All this Eric did for the sake of saving his homeland; and ultimately his sacrifice affected the success of the biggest war in history.His life story is spelled out in the book from Andrews’ own research. 

I give the book high marks and recommend it.  The overall purpose of the book as well the intriguing research make this worthy of your time. 

When you find nothing but desperate hopelessness around you, when all seems to be adding up to constant opposition, what should you do?  Read the book and find out.

 

 

Technorati Tags: The Final Summit,Andy Andrews,Life lessons,history,personal development

Making the Most of Easter and Other Holidays Alone

Spring has sprung and Easter arrived to celebrate new life, and for Christians – the new life you received  when you accepted the very Easter story. His story in history is what gives us joy unspeakable. 

I celebrated the day without the kiddos (it was their dad’s weekend, you know). Following a morning of worship celebration at church, I went with friends to a dynamic 2 hour drama of the Resurrection of Christ in Radford that night. The day was full and the focus was obvious. 

It is tough when you have to celebrate some of the holidays without your children being there. I know.  I get it. But making the most of your holiday, even when you are alone, is where you have to focus your time, your energy, and your planning. 

It can be so easy to let yourself get caught up in the gloomy, oh-my-life-stinks mode.  But how much more enjoyable it could be if you would just refute that mode and with intentionality make the choice to fill your day with friends and things you enjoy.

1. Plan a special time to celebrate with the children on a different day than the holiday falls, if they will be “visiting” on the holiday itself.
2. Make the tradition and fun be about the holiday season – not just the specific day.  Spread out the celebrating so it falls on more than one day during the season.
3. In advance, contact friends and make plans for the day when the children will be away.  Plan a meal with friends or family, an outing, or plan to join them in their family time.
4. Make a list of things you don’t get to do when busy with the children.  Have it available to pull out when you feel the “blahs” of your me-time. Here’s my list for me-time I put together three years ago.

These are just a few simple ideas to keep yourself from focusing on the negative when you have time on your hands without the children, especially during a holiday.

It’s normal to think about them, wishing they were near.  But just think, when they are off to college and doing their own thing on holidays throughout the year, you will be this much more prepared for it.

For some of us, those college days are closer than we like to think about.

Technorati Tags: Easter story,Easter Holiday,holidays,me-time management,single mom,single mother,unspeakable joy,Christ,Christians,Resurrection,holidays without children,lonely,Easter,planning,lists,family time

Photo Credit: Katherine Shinault

Soul Surfer while I wait…

While I sit waiting on Kassity to finish with her Orthodontist appointment… and waiting, at least they have Wi-Fi available. 

Surfing the web and going through my emails, I found the release on this upcoming movie this weekend.  Soul Surfer: This is one I do want to see.  Have you seen the previews?  A girl who suffers from an accident that results in amputation, finds her true purpose and passion in life while supported by her family and her faith.

The storyline is excellent and I look forward to sharing this one with the kiddos (well at least Kass).

Here are some fan’s testimonials below and some clips from the film.

Enjoy!

 

 

Technorati Tags: Soul Surfer,tweens,family time,family movies,family entertainment,faith,personal development,Life Lessons

Single Parents Everywhere…and Others

Single parents must catch Terry Hitchcock’s story, told in MY RUN, in theatres 3.31. He proves that we are all heroes.  But it’s for more than single parents…

When I watched this trailer it moved me.  Not just because of women I have known that have battled breast cancer, and not just because a dear woman of 48 years passed away this week from her own battle with cancer, and not just because we all have our own struggles in life, but because of a combination of these things:  I want to do my part of being “someone’s hero.”

Here’s some info from the press release:

We’re all running a marathon one way or another. Whether it is staying afloat as a single, working parent, battling a disease or trying to conquer a fear, it all involves a fight. Join us for an unforgettable inspirational story about a 57-year-old man who ran 75 consecutive marathons in 75 consecutive days. The award-winning and critically acclaimed documentary MY RUN is coming to movie theaters nationwide for an exclusive one night premiere event on Thursday, March 31st at 7:00pm (Local Time).
Terry Hitchcock battles the grief of losing his wife to breast cancer by setting out on a journey to bring awareness and a voice to the struggles faced by single parent families and their children. Narrated by Academy Award winner Billy Bob Thornton, this powerful and uplifting documentary exemplifies a commitment to something greater than yourself and achieving something deemed impossible.
Following the feature, audiences will take a deeper look into the story through interviews with the star Terry Hitchcock and his son, support team member Chris Hitchcock.
A portion of proceeds from the MY RUN Premiere event will benefit the Livestrong Foundation.

Watch the trailer below:

 

Technorati Tags: single parents,breast cancer awareness,single moms,single dads,movies,My Run,Terry Hitchcock

In The Moment

Remember this famous quote:

Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work, but I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I'm swamped.

The Princess Bride

I’m so busy anymore I don’t know what to blog, or when. I love this quote from this classic movie. My own statement about blogging would be close:

Blog, you know how much I love sharing with you and the world wide web, but I’ve got my office’s 100th anniversary to plan, my kids to take to the doctor (four times a month lately), a boyfriend to cater to, my house to get on the market, and I need to find a way to pay for all of it; I’m swamped. (j/k Mr. M!)

I took off the month of January, for the most part, from my blog, to get focused. I participated in a 21 day fast that I would love to share more about soon. But in that time – I did get focused and found my priorities again. 

My priorities are my faith and my children at the top. (Even though my children at times try my patience, thereby my faith… but I digress.) My relationship with Mr. M follows in that sequence and we are looking toward our future. But I didn’t find any extra time lying around to squeeze all the “stuff” into.Sometimes I have so many plates spinning between my children, their “stuff;” my home, its ‘stuff;’ Mr. M, his ‘stuff;’ my job, and its stuff that I lose my focus on what’s important. Life is spinning crazy by all of us.

So with that thought I want to say:

Take time to be in the moment where you are right now. Appreciate all the little things in your world and pay attention to whatever it is you might be doing – while you are doing it. Whether it’s doing the laundry or making jewelry with your daughter – give it your full attention and be in that moment. Once it is gone – it’s gone and is only a memory of what we make it.

Find yourself…keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: life lessons,relationships,gratitude,appreciation,time management,parenting

My List for ME-TIME

With the kids gone I have had the time to get caught up, of sorts. At least I have gotten caught up on my sleep, caught up on my blog, caught up on my laundry, (for the most part) and caught up on some pending household projects. The only thing I have not gotten caught up on yet is reading my book for book club; but I have just chosen to do everything else instead!

This time I have at home without them makes me miss them, but I do not understand how parents get it all done (so to speak) when they never get a break. I know I have read of single parents who don’t even have the liberty of an “every other weekend” break so they can get caught up on anything! They definitely don’t get three weeks in the summer. So my hat goes off to you single parents that do not even have “the other” parent taking the children off your hands on occasion for their visitations.

However, I would encourage you to find other ways of getting yourself that much needed “me-time” once in a blue moon, at least. Try to leave the child/children for a night or two with a relative, a parent, or a friend that you trust immensely.

This will at least give you a chance to:

1. Sleep in for once.
2. Go out for a late night dinner/dancing/party with friends and let your hair down.
3. Get some uninterrupted time to read, blog, or even clean the house!
4. Listen to grown-up music.
5. Watch a movie that doesn’t
   1. have only teenage movie stars or
   2. have Barney or another cartoon character involved.
   3. (Better yet for number 5 – go to the theater to see that movie.)
6. Plan a mini-vacation with friends, i.e. long weekend away.
7. Go shopping with no one pulling on your clothes or telling you they are tired or bored.
8. Setup an online account for paying bills (so when the children are home, you have a quicker way to get this task done)
9. Organize pictures, either in your online album or in photo albums…. (With kids you always have hundreds of pictures.)
10. Experience true quiet time… ssssshh – Do you hear that? (And yes, it can get a little too quiet after a while; trust me.)
11. Get that painting done you have put off for weeks.
12. Stay with your brother in the emergency room till 2AM because you don’t have to worry about being at home with the kids. (OK, you wouldn’t plan this on your list for “me-time” but it happened to me; and I appreciated the fact I could get up and go without having to worry about where to take the kids.) :)
13. Eat dessert for dinner. Yes I have done that by the way; but I have also been known to do that one even with the kids around (but only once a year as a special thing). I am not a terrible mother; quit that!

Now, you will not be able to splurge and do everything on my list in one weekend of “me-time.” But you can enjoy a few; or you may have a completely different list of your own you would like to indulge when you get that much deserved “me-time.” Heck, even if you are married – you still need some “me-time” every once in a while… away from the kids, away from your schedule and routine (and yes occasionally even away from your spouse). This is not you or me being selfish; it is simply a way of getting that much needed retreat from the chaos of life and responsibility so we can enjoy the renewal and refreshment that results.

I know, at least for me, when my kids get back I will be waiting at that door with open arms and even when they start up with “No, I want to show mom, my souvenirs first!” I will just smile and say…. “I am so glad my babies are home.”

So what is YOUR list for “me-time?”

What do you think I should have been doing over the last two and half weeks while my kids were away?

Now that it’s almost over…. I am thinking, why hadn’t I thought to blog this inquiry weeks ago?!!

Photo Credit: fedexrewardsclub.com/images/shopping_bag_girl

Technorati Tags: single moms,marriage,relationships,me-time,vacation,reading,shopping,children

by Katherine S.