Home Alone – the kiddos

If you are considering leaving your child(ren) home alone for small periods of time or during the afternoon while you are still at work, you may be wondering: what are the rules? Are there laws dictating at what age a child can be left at home alone?

According to About.com’s article linked below, few states mandate a specific age for allowing parents to leave their child at home.  However, National SAFEKIDS Campaign recommends no child be left at home alone under the age of 12.  At the age of 12 other factors also have be considered to determine if your child is ready for this new realm of responsibility and safety issues.  The article, “When Can I Begin to Leave My Children Home Alone?” provides some guidelines to consider before taking this ‘leap of faith.’

• Is your child mature enough?
• Leave a phone number where you can be reached.
• Call and check in regularly
• Establish a routine for your child to check in with you too.
• Discuss expectations and what will be allowed while the child or children are home alone.  Is television permitted? Should homework be completed? Is the computer off limits?
• Explain how to handle emergencies. 

As a single parent, after school care can be an expensive budget item.  When your child nears the age of responsible independence, it’s tempting to urge them to spend this time at home and save on after-school care programs.  But make sure your child is comfortable with this new plan.  Ensure she feels confident with her ability to manage things on her own in your absence for those couple hours after school. Be sure to cover all the bases before making it a permanent solution.

We have been working on this plan in our home for a few weeks now that the school year is in full swing.  I can’t believe how much my kiddos have grown up.  They are becoming responsible young people right before my eyes.

What are some added tips you can share about leaving your tweens and teens at home alone?  Share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: home alone,children,childcare

Photo Credit: fanpop.com

Creativity…How to get more of it

I found this article just today on 20 Tips from Psychology for Boosting Creativity from About.com.  Take the few minutes to read the article linked and take some time to innovatively expand on your own creativity.

• Do you like to blog?  Use the blog as a realm or outlet for some of your creativity.
• Do you like to write in a journal? Use the journal as your outlet.
• Do you reward yourself for being curious: wanting to learn something new?  Perhaps it’s time to make allowances for your own curiosity and learn that foreign language or new software to design a poster.

If you are like me, the time I get to set aside for such passions, or curiosities is only after the kiddos go to bed.  I work a full-time job and evenings are spent having dinner, doing homework, family time, and other evening meetings.  So regularly I schedule me-time from 10 pm –11:30 pm.

During that me-time, I try to do any writing, blogging, research, photo organizing, personal devotions, etc. that I enjoy.

Take some time out for yourself and your creativity this week to keep your creative juices flowing and refreshed.

I’m way behind on getting my photos organized and out on the web, but I have been doing some writing about family nights.

Don’t miss your next masterpiece, just because you didn’t make time for it to be discovered!

Find yourself…keeping it real.

Looking for some of my more “fun” writing using some of that creativity?  Check this older post:  The Mysterious Box or this post titled: Don’t Pinch Me.

One of those photos yet to be posted to the web album from our family vacation in August. 

Some fun at Wonder Works in Pigeon Forge, TN.

Technorati Tags: me-time,family time,creativity

 

Dating Online – the basics

The following is a sponsored post:

From personal experience, I can tell you about some of the best online dating websites, at least the ones that worked better for me.

I tried too many to count and certainly they included ones you have heard about on commercials every other day of the week.  I could confidently recommend eHarmony, Match.com as well as Plenty Of Fish (which is free).  This is not a Match dating site review, but you get the idea.

No matter which online service you use to meet people, however, you have to use caution and you have to practice some tips to keep safe. 

• Never meet someone new in a private or isolated area.  Meet in a public place. 
• Have multiple conversations by phone before taking the next step of meeting someone in person . 
• Don’t tell anyone your home address until you are comfortable they are not a potential stalker, or worse.

These are just a few of the basics.  But eHarmony spells out other safety measures and they are worth reading.

Take it from me, it is not easy being back in the dating game after years of marriage.  It sounds like it would be “fun” to get that chance to meet new guys and start a fresh new relationship.  But after many failed first dates, and second dates, I am glad to be in a serious relationship again. 

Do your research and get information about a dating website before you “take the plunge.”  Once you feel comfortable and understand how to maintain your personal safety in meeting new people, give it a chance.

One more tip I can offer to those out there “dating” online.  Give it time.  Don’t expect your prince (or princess) to be one of the first few guys (or girls) you talk to. Time is your friend.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

What to Expect When You’re Divorced- My Upcoming Book

There’s much I want to blog about.  And much that I cannot blog about.  This post may be saying too much, but I have had enough. 

My X has found my blog; it’s no big deal because I have nothing to hide about single parenting or dating which I share with my readers, here.  My relationship with Mr. M is public knowledge.  But sadly, my X has continually shared his negative opinion to my kiddos about me having a new relationship.  These are ugly irrational things that my kiddos don’t need to hear. Nor do they need the mental duress from dealing with his rants about his rejection of my new relationship.  He tells them what he will do if I get married again. And it’s not pretty.

How do you recommend dealing with an X who has not moved on… five years after the final D?  I plan to investigate my options, especially when the mental abuse is being subjected to the kiddos when they are with him.

Transparency isn’t always pretty when you are living a life as a single mom and your X insists upon being uncooperative with the co-parenting concept.  I understand everyone has their own opinion about remarriage after divorce, but I don’t believe imposing personal dogmatic convictions upon someone else is appropriate behavior.  Nor do I think you should make your own children feel bad about their other parent moving on in her life, whether you agree with that other parent’s choices or not.  If the other parent’s choices are moral, legal and not bringing harm to the child nor placing a child in an unsafe, unstable environment, then you should keep your opinions to yourself. (IMHO)

Longsuffering in this case, however, has been long used up by this single mom.  Now I have to take next steps to ensure my children do not needlessly endure unnecessary stresses from their father.  Hopefully he will realize the harm it is doing to them not me, in the process and just finally move on and let it go.

We can only hope and pray he chooses that route before other actions have to be taken.

Did you read that, Mr. X?

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit: Created image using the background of a well known parenting book and adding my own text, title.

Technorati Tags: Divorce,relationships,personal development,co-parenting,coparenting,ex-husband,ex-wife,marriage,remarriage,convictions,mental abuse

The Butterfly Effect

Did you know the slightest ripple of action can alter the earth’s atmosphere on the other side of the globe? 

Sounds farfetched. 

But this book provides examples of actual events, small tokens of doing the right thing that have resulted in an outcome drastically different from what ‘it could have been’ had these individuals not stepped up to the plate and taken action that made a real difference.  Even if the difference was something that person couldn’t realize but we see it centuries later.

Powerful, meaningful and yet a quick read; I read it aloud to my son and kept his interest and I’m hoping it made a true impact.  He’s 15 and loved the dialogue of the battle of Gettysburg.

Every moment counts.  This book just reminds us why.

It’s title: Butterfly Effect by Andy Andrews and here is a portion of its description from the publisher (Thomas Nelson):

Speaker and New York Times best-selling author Andy Andrews shares a compelling and powerful story about a decision one man made over a hundred years ago, and the ripple effect it’s had on us individually, and nationwide, today. It’s a story that will inspire courage and wisdom in the decisions we make, as well as affect the way we treat others through our lifetime. Andrews speaks over 100 times a year, and The Butterfly Effect is his #1 most requested story.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

I received a pdf version of this book, with the option of sharing a review.