When it comes to BUDGETS, keep it simple – Part 2

Early on I told you, my readers, I was going to have monthly missions for 2010.  January was about finances.  In sharing with you about budgets last week, I split up an article I wrote a year ago on the topic.  Last week and this week those two articles (Part 1 and 2) were highlighted on a lovely blog entitled, Integrated Mother.  The founder, Michele Dortch, wanted to use the material and helped me polish it up a bit.  I was very excited to get the articles featured.  Below is part 2 “When it comes to Budgets, keep it simple”  but I hope you will jump over to Integrated Mother to see it there as well as participate in comments and discussion.

When it comes to budgets, keep it simple

Last week I described the financial mindset you must have before setting a budget. Now it’s time to set  the budget! When you think about it, budgeting is simple. You have a set income and what you spend each month shouldn’t exceed that amount. Simple!

But for many, it’s not that simple so I’ve broken down the elements of a budget here with some suggestions for how to allocate your money. For the sake of this illustration, we’ll assume your income is $1,000 per month. Here is how I suggest allocating your expenses:

Charity – 10%: In my personal budget, I take 10% off the top and give it to my church, my charity of choice and something I believe in.

Mortgage/rent – 25%: This is the normally suggested range for housing expenses.

Food – 20%: Include the amount for groceries and prepared foods.

Transportation/gas – 11%: This is money spent for gas, tolls, and car payments. You might need to eliminate a car payment and drive an older, used vehicle.

Child care – 10% This can be expensive, but may be less if you solicit friends or family to help in this area.

Insurance – 2-3%: This includes auto, home, life, and health insurance premiums. Try to combine plans for auto and home to get the best rate.

Health care expenses – 2%: With children you’ll have the occasional co-pay for doctor’s visits as well as the medications (ask for generic)

Utilities – 5%: These differ by the season and/or usage, but an average monthly electric bill and water combined would be about 5%.

Phone, cable, Internet – 6%: Consolidate where possible. Cable is a luxury for many households, as is the Internet. Determine if these are some things you can afford.

Debt payments – 0%: These include credit cards, student loans, leased furniture payments, or anything you have purchased on credit. Being debt free would allow you to leave zero in this section.

Total fixed expenses = 92% of your budget, or $920 in this example.

Use the left-over 8% of your income for the “extras” like clothing, self-care, vacation, entertainment, dining out, home repairs, and landscape maintenance. And be sure that you don’t under-estimate the upkeep for your own home, if you aren’t renting. Prepare for these expenses – trust me. Also, the “extra” 8% should be used to reduce your debt if you have any.

Speaking of debt, you can probably tell that I’m a strong advocate for living within your means and removing “debt required living” from your lifestyle. Train yourself to live within your means and avoid pulling out your credit card for a quick fix. The stress of getting in over your head isn’t worth it.

I suggest having only one credit card for emergency purposes, and then cut up all others. To safeguard against impulse buying, give that one credit card to a friend or secure it in a safe place (not your wallet!) to help you be accountable to your promise not to use it except in the case of an emergency!

Remember, this is a bare bones, basic budget outline. You’ll need to customize it to your unique situation. The important part is to keep your expenses under control. At the end of the day, impulse buying and frivolous spending gets you more things (that you have to figure out how to store). Do things matter most?

———- By Katherine Shinault

Editor’s note: Any financial advice presented on this blog is for your personal information only and cannot substitute professional financial advice. Always seek advice of a competent financial advisor with any questions you may have regarding a financial matter.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit: PhotoXpress\Petro Feketa

Technorati Tags: budgets,finances,credit card debt,debt-free living,personal development,life goals,lifestyle

WOW, That’s a Low Price

Emotional Night of Retrospect

Last week Jas turned 15. Yes you read correctly; my oldest is fifteen years old.  I used to tell people I had him at the age of 12…(tongue in cheek) because it makes me feel “slightly” old to have a teenager for a son.  Since I am refusing to get old… I will just say slightly.   That was an emotional night for me.

I enjoyed taking the kiddos and Mr. M out for a birthday dinner celebration.  We had a super time together.  It wasn’t that.  I just started thinking after I went to bed that night about all those years ago when he was just a toddler, my little boy.  It made my heart ache.  Watching them grow up so fast really gets to me sometimes. 

In three years he will be going off to college and I am crying at the thought of him turning 15 – by then I will be a basket case.  Where is my counselor?  We need to prepare for this.

Entertainment in Kroger

Tonight after we went out for pizza, we all went to the grocery store.  I needed some things (and still ended up forgetting the batteries I needed for the smoke detectors). – Remind me to tell you about that story sometime.  One started going off at 2:30 am last night and I ended up taking down all three around my room before I found the culprit! And I do digress.  Where were we? Oh, so we were at the grocery store.  Any time I take both kiddos with me to any store I am reminded why I try to do this as a solo activity.  Can you relate?

Jas got stuck on the new Staples commercial and ended up reciting the line from it all over the store.  Not kidding.  And loudly so.  You haven’t seen it? Check my link below.  This is what he was doing all through Kroger.  But I do love him…

Oh and for the sake of the FTC, this is not a sponsored blog.  I just like shopping at Kroger and this is my son’s latest fave commercial.

Find yourself…keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: Kroger,Staples,emotions,birthdays,Single moms,teenagers,commercials

Video Credit: YouTube\stapleschannel

No, Everything is not going to be ok

When I read this title on Seth Godin’s blog this week, it made me stop in my tracks.   What do you mean, it’s not going to be ok?  But read that title again, it says “everything”.  He goes on to say more about this thought:  how change is inevitable which brings more change and that some things will get better with change – but other things will get worse.  That is the cycle of life.  Yet we seek the reassurance, that it will all be ok.  And at times we lie to each other and say, Yes, everything is going to be ok. “But everything is never ok.”

It is true isn’t it?  Some families will fall apart and get divorced, while other singles are finding true love, some for the second or third time.  Marriages that are thriving in their relationships might be dealing with financial problems.  One friend will lose his job at the same time another finds a better one.  At any one point in time “everything” will not be ok, not all at once.  Even as a Christian I can say EVERYTHING is never completely ok. So instead of seeking reassurance of that perfection in life, it might make for a smoother ride if we can accept the fact, there will be some bad along with the good for each of us in our lives.  Focusing on the good helps – and developing a strategy to deal with the bad also helps as we face this fact.

My brother is still working through his depression.  He is getting better (thanks to all of you who have been praying for him) and is continuing therapy.  Encouragement and support are definitely what he needs right now.  But blindly telling him that the problems that were going on in his life before this depression hit, will somehow magically disappear is a falsehood and unrealistic.  Instead I am encouraging him about getting better and stronger emotionally and mentally but also gently reminding him that there will still be the “stuff” he has to deal with on the other side of this.  Right now he just needs to focus on getting better so he can deal with that stuff…later on… like the rest of us deal with our own stuff.

So when you are tempted to say to someone, “Everything is going to be ok.”  Stop and think, but is it?

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo credit: http://www.sxc.hu/…/amirhd

The Mysterious Box

I was in my normal position of relaxing on the couch.  Only this time my knees were up closer to my chest  as I halfway stretched out on the sofa.  I was falling asleep while my head bobbed to the right but I was trying to stay awake.  My back was against Mr. M.  He touched my hand, then he pulled my legs toward his lap as if he was going to allow them to hang over his knees.  It didn’t seem to startle me that it would mean I would have to turn a good 180 degrees to place my legs this way, since he was behind me.

The dogs were barking in the front yard, or at least one dog, Jovi was barking.  I heard her which was followed by the front door opening.  This was weird since I keep the front door’s deadbolt locked all the time; we go in and out the back door.  But even with the ruckus I wasn’t phased by this.  I was still turned away from the door, aware of Mr. M, but only slightly as I was about to doze and fall into a deep sleep. 

After the door opened I heard a large thump as if a heavy box had been dropped in a hurry to bring it in.  That startled me.  My kiddos’ voices rang out with the bustle of moving the box inside.

Something inside me stirred. I knew my kiddos were not supposed to be home; it was their dad’s weekend to have them. 

Then I woke up. 

This had all been a dream.

I had been asleep, having a dream about me falling asleep, no doubt. 

After cleaning house Saturday morning, I settled on the couch to read a book and fell asleep… by myself.  This was my me-time.

Jovi was barking outside, that much was true.  But I was the only one there, on the couch, with my book, wondering… what might have been inside that box.

What do you think could have been in that box?

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit: http://www.sxc.hu/svilen001

Technorati Tags: boxes,narrative writing,dreams,sleeping

Mist Over the Snow

The snow is finally gone after three days in a row with high temperatures held in the fifties and the sixties.  But before it melted away, I was able to snap this photograph over the weekend on one of my trips up to Mr. M’s house.  The fog or mist was settling over the snow late in the day after the temps rose to the fifties that day as well.

Find yourself… keeping it real

Photo credit…all mine.

Technorati Tags: photography,snow,pictures,mist

Making Plans for V-Day?

Conversation with me and Mr. M last night:

me: Did you get my text message?

him: No.

me: Really?

him: not yet

me: I sent it to you around 8 while I was in that meeting.

him: What was it about?

me: about making plans for V day.

him: what day?

me: V Day

him: D Day?

me: V Day, V Day

him: What are you talking about?

me: V Day …in February… it’s on Sunday this year.

him: Was that what your meeting was about?

me: No, it just occurred to me that you would need to ask your mom to keep the boys so we could do something.

him: Oh.  It’s on Sunday?

…

D-Day? Seriously? Come on…

But it’s not very romantic if I take time out – during a meeting – to send a text message about making plans for V-Day, hmm?  

Then again, what is my relationship coming to if Mr. M doesn’t have a clue what I mean when I ask about V-Day?

Oh well…. At least February is coming… remember that monthly mission?  I think we need it.

What are you doing for Valentine’s Day?

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: Valentine's Day,V-Day,Romance,Relationships,Dating,Single moms dating,communicating,new years resolutions

Photo Credit: Photoxpress.com, WaD

As Far As Mondays Go….

For my day off Monday, I was able to get some things done around the house and finished reading a book I started recently titled, Mr. Darcy Broke My Heart by Beth Pattillo.  I received an advance copy to do a review from Phenix & Phenix Literary Publicists and was very impressed.  If any of you reading this post are Jane Austen fans.. let me start by saying:  you definitely must read this book.  And if you aren’t crazy about Jane Austen – but you think Mr. Darcy is the dreamiest… then you also must read this book.

It’s of course a love story… but enticing and exciting with it’s setting in Oxford as the main character, Claire, takes a week long seminar about Pride and Prejudice and in turn meets her very own version of Mr. Darcy.  Since she already has a boyfriend back home (Neil), it proves to be quite the love triangle as it quickly evolves into something she hadn’t intended.  Her good intentions also place her in the middle of a mystery long held at Oxford as she finds herself in possession of some ancient writings never published of the renowned author, Jane Austen.

The plot picks up quickly right from the start and keeps you captivated, because I couldn’t put the book down.  For me that doesn’t happen often, but this book did the job well.  So you may want to pick up your own copy and check it out for yourself.

There’s still more to my Monday being a good day.  Not only because I was able to get some things done (including that book, Mr. Darcy Broke My Heart) but also because my blog was highlighted on a social community website – just for moms! I was so flattered when they approached me late last year about this opportunity to be highlighted for a week during their blog tour on www.mom-stuffcommunity.com.  I started visiting last year and found it a good resource for kids crafts, holiday ideas, family fun, recipes, saving money, alternative health and nutrition…even ways to keep the romance in your personal life.   I hope you will take a moment to visit their site, www.mom-stuff.com, take a look around, and leave a comment or two.  I also have a quick link on the top right side bar of my blog where you can click over to their site anytime.

So as far as Mondays go - a day off, with time to catch up, read a good book, AND get my blog site highlighted by www.mom-stuffcommunity.com, that’s not such a bad Monday.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: romance,single moms dating,Mr. Darcy Broke My Heart,www.mom-stuffcommunity.com,moms,resources,Jane Austen,Beth Pattillo,book review

BUDGET Woes? Try this – Part One

Budgets:  They aren’t fun, but they are a necessity.  As a single mom, I’m the sole breadwinner and I’ve found there are two choices that let me successfully support myself while raising my children: 

1. I can sit around in self-pity, moaning and groaning about what I don’t have and wishing away life as I run up credit card debt; or
2. I can embrace my current financial status, appreciate it and create a financial strategy that lets me live well and get out of debt.

I choose the latter, and I hope you will too because it’s really the first step to create and keep a good budget.

Embrace where you are.

– Your life is perfect. That may be strange to hear if you’re in a stressful financial position. But if you have a job, then be grateful. If you are unemployed continue working towards the goal of getting a job. Be willing to accept something – even if it is not your dream job right at first. Getting a job somewhere will be better than no job and no income. Always be grateful for where you are and what you have in life. Focus on the positive aspects of your current circumstances and remember the glass is half full. Count your blessings which include more than just your income.

Appreciate what you have and enjoy it!

– You have a roof over your head. You have food to eat and provide for your family. Instead of buying things, pull out the things you already own; put them to use and enjoy them. These might include books, music, instruments, games, etc. that are collecting dust in your closet. Make use of the things you already own instead of mulling over a wish list of the ‘other’ things you want.

Don’t compare yourself (or your possessions) with others.

– A writer once said of her younger growing up years that she didn’t know how poor she was till she befriended a rich girl. If we stop comparing ourselves to others and what they have, we might find we don’t even miss those extra things. Things are not as fulfilling as the media makes them out to be. If you own “this must have item” it still won’t bring you true happiness.

Keep life simple so you can save – every penny counts.

– Even the smallest of luxuries can be cut back to make way for other uses like getting out of debt or saving for a rainy day. Small luxuries include specialized coffee drinks, soft drinks with lunch (get ice water), or vending machine items for snacks. Making even the smallest sacrifices, will allow you to put money left over toward reducing your debt or increasing savings.

Once you embrace your current financial position, appreciate what you have and are content with the here and now, it will be easier to stick to a budget and make it work. You may also be surprised at how leading a simple financial life leads to enjoying a richer life overall.

Stay tuned for Part 2 – The Simple Monthly Budget

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: budgets,contentment,finances,credit card debt,gratitude

Helping Haiti… It’s Not About Our Economy

Well I am working from home today because my oldest is sick with a stomach virus.  I went in to the office for a while this morning to pick up some work and make sure some projects would still get out in my absence and now I am settled back at home working on our office’s new redesigned website as we push towards a go-live date of February 1.

This week has been busy and I still need to prepare those posts on my article about creating your budget.  Still planning to get to that this weekend.  In the meantime… I wanted to post a few words about what was going on in my world. 

Sometimes getting so focused on my own world I lose sight of all that is in the news and the media.  But Haiti definitely got my attention as my heart went out to those people dealing with devastation around them at an extreme degree.  My prayers go out for them and my thoughts are with them as we plan at our state office for a coordinated effort to raise funds for sending containers of supplies to those in need.  There are plenty of ways you can donate and help, just confirm the source of help before simply giving your money, however.  If you follow my twitter or read Seth Godin’s blog yesterday you saw where he referenced a cool way to contribute while getting a T-shirt in the process encouraging others to give.  And obviously anything you give to www.redcross.org is going to a good resource to help out Haitians. 

Now talking about finances and staying on a budget, you may wonder, “How can you ask people to give?”  Well it is definitely up to your own heart and budget what you can give.  But remember sacrificing something you would have bought with that five dollars or 20 dollars… to give to those who need it following a devastating catastrophe will make you know you did something for the right reasons.  (Even if my son said… with the economy the way it is, President Obama is going to give how much from the U.S.?)  But we do have to step up and take care of our fellow man in time of need, don’t we?

Well Jas is up and moving around… so I probably once again need to focus on things closer to home…as in right here at home.  But leave me a comment and let me know you stopped by. 

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: Haiti,twitter,Seth Godin,donations

The Crunch

Well it’s January and the cold is in full swing here in Virginia.  The snow is still on the ground and the temperatures have been in the teens and low twenties for weeks.  We are still crunching in the snow that won’t melt away.  It finally made it to the thirties yesterday but by Friday it is supposed to hit 50… I’m calling it a heat wave!

January’s Focus – Money Crunch

If you remember from my monthly missions, January’s focus as we crunch in  the snow is on the “crunch” of finances.  I have so much to talk about in this area.  My brother who is dealing with his own drama and issues at the moment wants me to help him get on a budget and my sister’s husband mentioned Sunday they too would appreciate some guidance in this area.  I was flattered.  So this will be a resource at least for family if no one else can glean from it.  But I hope more of my readers can use this information and put it to work for them.

The first thing for anyone to do who has found themselves in a financial bind – is to admit they need to get their money under control.  Taking this step in realizing the need for the budget is huge.  Because the initial phase of cutting back for anyone is a little painful, so recognizing the larger picture here will help you endure the “cuts”. 

Getting the Household Onboard

Secondly, you need to get everyone in your household on board with the newly defined lifestyle that will be determined by your budget.  If there is a warning issued – Hey this is coming down the pike and you may not get to buy everything you have been used to in the past – it will help prevent potential surprises.  This is true for your children (my kiddos know what it means to live on a budget, trust me) and it is also true for your spouse.  If you both don’t see eye-to-eye on keeping a tight rein on the checkbook… it could mean friction, so have that conversation from the start.  (One advantage to being a single mom… I control the checkbook by myself.)  But couples can define these boundaries together as well and make it work.

Now if this is all brand new to you – you might ask, “How do I set up a budget?”

It’s not hard.  The main thing is that you add up all your income and then add up all your expenses for a month, lets say, and compare the two amounts.  The main thing you have to realize is remembering all those expenditures, and other possibilities – so you are prepared.  I outline how to set up these two lists in detail and at length in an article I wrote about budgets in 2008.  My plan is to break that down in parts to share here on my blog.

Please come back later this week and read my other posts about finances… as I make the attempt to at least help my brother and sister and their families set up a budget. 

Where is Your Heart?

There is a quote by Billy Graham, “Give me five minutes with a person's checkbook, and I will tell you where their heart is.”  How true, how true.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit: http://www.vintageadbrowser.com/

Technorati Tags: finances,budgets,single moms,money,couples

Boots to Boot

Those snow boots

Remember the cardboard boots Kass made last year when we didn’t get the forecasted snow and  she was so disappointed?  Well we definitely were not disappointed this year with all the snow that came before Christmas.  You got a chance to see those photos, right?  That snow is still around: on the lawn, piled up on the sides of the streets, along the banks, lots of snow remains here.

Well one thing we found out when we received all that snow was that Kass had outgrown her real snow boots from last winter; and now we are on the lookout for new boots for her.  I heard about these kids wellies that are pretty cool.  So they will be on the list as we keep searching for a pair of boots that she will want to wear.

I learned a year or so ago that just because I pick out something I like or even think she will like… doesn’t mean SHE WILL like it.  Ever since, I don’t buy stuff for her to wear unless she has seen it and said she will indeed wear it. That’s why I want to make sure I let her pick out the boots online before I attempt to order anything.

What age do you start letting your kiddos decide what they are going to wear? 

Kass just turned 11 and yes, I have been letting her choose for over a year, maybe longer.  But I can remember when she started getting tougher to buy for and when she stopped liking the “girly” stuff I was buying… oh the dresses and tights I invested in that she only wore one or two times…after they sat in the closet collecting dust - that’s when it finally sunk in. I needed to let her pick things out – before I invested in the outfits or the shoes.

Is 11 too young to have some independence in making her own choices? 

I would love your feedback.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

This post was sponsored by http://www.startriteshoes.com.

Thankful for Christmas

Christmas has already passed and I haven’t even shared much with you about mine.  Sadly I didn’t even take any pictures throughout all of our celebrations.  I don’t have an explanation why… I was just too busy with entertaining or milling about from place to place, I guess… but I am kicking myself for not taking photos.  Yes it is sad.  So take note of the photographers name at the end of this post – to whom I want to give credit for this lovely photo to the right.

Now this leads me to the presents of Christmas.  I gave Jas and Kass an iPod Touch and they love them.  They truly are cool and now I want one!  But I guess I will just use theirs from time to time to get my fill for using one.  These were gifts I had to plan for in advance by saving what I could and then ordered back in October to help spread out the cost of the Christmas season. 

For Mr. M. I ordered 8X10 prints of some of the photographs I had taken of his boys and had them matted and framed as a series.  I did a couple of these as black and white versions and one in color.  My favorite was of his youngest that was highlighted in my list of biggest little things for 2009.

One of my favorite gifts I received would have to be a lovely personally made just for me necklace to match the bracelet I got over a month ago… from, of course, you guessed it: Mr. M.  I will take a picture of it soon so you can see what it looks like.  (Yes I promise to take pictures… this time.)

So what was one of your favorite gifts this Christmas?  What were some of the favorite gifts you gave your kiddos?  Did you give a girl’s bracelet to your daughter?  Did you give a masculine necklace to your son? 

My kiddos also received jewelry especially made for them by Mr. M.  Jas received a cool necklace in a pattern that is chunky and masculine and Kass got earrings made just for her. 

It was a great Christmas season… and not just because of these unique gifts… but because we got to be together with each of our families.  Mr. M. was a part of my Christmas celebration with my brother, his wife, my sister, and her family.  And my kiddos and I spent Christmas with Mr. M’s family including his mom, stepdad, sister and her family.  We had lots of fun, lots of food, and yes lots of gifts were also in the mix.

Now that it’s all behind us… have you reflected to be thankful for your Christmas?

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit: Photographer: Giovanni Gagliardi

back to normal?

Well today I got back to the grindstone, back to my routine, back to work after two wonderful weeks off.

As much as I enjoyed the downtime, with family, celebrating every moment of the holidays; I am glad to be back to a sense of normalcy and productivity.  Hope that doesn’t mean I’m too terribly weird.  Mr. M. might disagree and say I was already weird… But I digress.

As I pick up the pace and try to play catch up at the office today, my thoughts are occasionally on my brother who has been searching for that ‘back to normal’ feeling for weeks.  He started a group therapy program today and I am hopeful this will lead him down the path to get to some sense of normalcy himself.

Interestingly, yesterday in church my pastor preached on the passage from Philippians 4:13 -  I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.  He broke it down to show that we have an important personal contribution in this statement.  We have to make the choice to do something… whatever it is for us specifically…. first, and then rely on the strength from Christ (the divine directive).  In his message, he relayed that we need to take steps to move forward up that mountain, or stopping that habit, or acquiring that goal… before He (Christ) can show up and provide us the strength to get through it.  And he goes on to say we shouldn’t use the word “can’t” but instead use the word can.  If we choose to say ‘can’t’ then in essence we are saying we “won’t” do something… not that we cannot do that something.

I thought this was very profound and ended up praying for my brother and ingested for myself this concept which hit home the very thing I have been trying to share with my brother from the start in his current crisis.  When I got home I called him and shared about the message my pastor preached.  Later I found out from my brother – his pastor preached about the very same thing that morning at his church.  Wow, if that isn’t God trying to tell him something, I don’t know what else it could be.

He is taking steps, moving forward through therapy and even asking about other avenues of medical help from his counselor.  I am proud of him.  He has a mountain to climb to get over this… whatever this is and in dealing with the his job and the aftermath of his decisions, but he is taking it one step, one boulder, one moment of the climb at a time.

What are the mountains you are facing in 2010? 

What are YOU going to do about them?

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: personal development,relationships,crisis,messages,Christ,devotions,goals,resolutions,habits,therapy,counseling

 

Photo Credit:  Alec Stewart – www.stockvault.net

2010 – THE LIST: Monthly Missions

In contemplating what my list would be like for 2010 I tried to remember my list from 2009.  How much had I accomplished?

I actually read more than the three books outside of book club and was even approached to do reviews for some.  I tackled the half bath but not the main bath as planned.  The painting in the kitchen ended up being only a touchup job and redoing the countertop… does that count?  And I didn’t keep up with playing board games with the kiddos every week; just once in a while.  But I did start writing my book and I ended up buying my son’s laptop when he started high school.

Over the last few days I finished a book I won from www.Mothersclick.com: Up For Renewal by Cathy Alter.  The book was funny and interesting with it’s tongue in cheek approach to life lessons and self improvement tactics through advice she found in the latest popular magazines.  It was truly humorous and an enjoyable read.  She has quite the whimsy voice in her writing and a witty way of sharing her developing love story. 

She made a pact for 12 months (each devoted to one focus of her self-improvement agenda) that she would rely on magazines to offer her advice in each of the focuses for her life and personal development.  The first month after she began she devoted to ‘diet’ and the rest ranged from bettering her relationships to bettering herself and her sex-life.*

I loved the way she talks about what leads up to her year summation of turning her life over to magazines, through witty and comical reactions that I could see myself doing in some instances.  Finally she summarizes she was not only subscribing her life to magazines but was also subscribing to change and working through the transitions it required for her to get out of a bad relationship and even a rotten job… Cute, cute story – that gets you thinking about changes you might want to work on in your own life.

So after reading the book, even though I was entertained by her humor and her approach to personal development, it also got me thinking… for my list this coming new year I want to focus on just 12 to-do items and have one assigned to each month of the year: my monthly missions.  Now I won’t be listing improving my sex-life (since I don’t have a sex life, by choice while I am still single) nor will I be consulting the latest popular magazines for advice in accomplishing these missions; instead I may seek advice from close friends/mentors, my pastor, or my counselor.  I will also focus on researching for info from blogging communities and other website resources.  (If it’s on the web it has to be true and good advice, right? Just kidding.) 

In fact breaking this down into monthly missions may help me keep up with the list and actually fulfill the goals each month further serving as a measuring rod for accomplishing what I want to set out for myself as attainable in 2010, what do you think?

So here is what I came up with:

Personal Improvements List for 2010

January – Improve my financial discipline by reevaluating my budget, expenses, and other means of possible income.

February – Improve my one year relationship with Mr. M.  Plans are to work on this through counseling and self-awareness techniques.

March – Improve my personal appearance through nutrition and other beauty regimens. (I chose this for this month because it’s my birthday month and … it’s a big one this year!)

April – Improve my spiritual walk.  I want to focus on establishing a more disciplined daily personal devotions time.  And I still plan to read the devotional book, Love Dare (this serves two purposes).

May – Improve my relationship with my kiddos by finding ways to make our time together more qualitative through playing games and interacting more in conversation.

June – Increase my knowledge in an area of my choosing.  I may take a summer class or a seminar.

July – Improve my physical fitness.  I already have some ideas of what I need to put together for a routine and may start this before July but this will be the focus month.

August – Improve one room in the house through home improvement projects.  Plans are still to tackle that main bathroom. 

September – Improve my writing and blogging skills as well as networking.

October – Improve my skills on the job and proficiency in the office through administration.

November – Improve entertaining friends and family by planning early for the holidays and up and coming birthdays that are around the corner.

December – Improve my time management. (This is the most hectic time of the year for me personally, it seems.)

That’s my list for 2010. 

What all do you have on your list for 2010?

Find yourself… keeping it real.

*Let me just share my disclaimer here in the fact that even though I enjoyed the book, I don’t condone her choices in the level of intimacy she talks about in the book with her relationships.  I simply have learned that when I disagree with specific things in a book, I can still take away from the experience with other things that are appreciated and filter the rest.  So overall – it was a good read.

Photo Credit: http://gorx9395.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/mission.jpg

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