A Long Weekend to Remember

This is crazy week in my world.   I have a longer to-do list than normal and not enough hours in the days.  Kass’ birthday party is Friday and I don’t even have her gift yet.  But that isn’t even the problem.  I have a meeting tonight with her troop and then a three hour training class tomorrow night – leaving me exactly 2 evenings to get all that’s on my list for the party finished…

BUT…

That’s not what I wanted this blog to be about… but in saying all that… you understand why this is only a glimmer of what I want to share later in more detail…. about my long weekend.

Thanksgiving Day was great with the kiddos.  We ended up at Mr. M’s house with his mom and stepdad for our special meal… and it was just that – special.  We did watch the parade together and after the meal the kiddos had to leave with their dad.

Following their departure, Mr. M and his boys and I headed up to DC where we spent the rest of our downtime.  WHAT A TREAT!  I want to share more with pictures and details of all we did while we were there and I have to tell you about meeting his dad!

But with my hectic week… that will have to come at a later time… but stay tuned.  More is coming soon.  I promise.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo credit:  http://plus.maths.org/latestnews/jan-apr08/sand/sand.jpg

Technorati Tags: holidays,travel,Washington DC,Thanksgiving,weekends,relationships

Happy Thanksgiving… What it’s all about….

THANKFUL

I am very thankful this season.  It’s more than just about the traditions of turkey and the parade.  I have so many things to be grateful for…. so very many.

What am I thankful for?

I am thankful for….

• health insurance 
• my kiddos are doing well in school and are healthy (no swine flu yet)
• a wonderful job (I’m not just saying that – I love my job)
• wonderful relationships with people in my life  - family, friends, girls in the troop, Mr. M… and my seamstress
• my vehicle – still running strong after 185,000 plus miles
• a warm bed at night
• a home with laughter, tears, good times, and comforting, encouraging words.

I am blessed… beyond measure.  So for this Thanksgiving blog post I wanted to share one of my gramma’s favorite scriptures.  Here it is in two versions, the Message and King James.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  Take time out to show thanks to HIM for all you have to be grateful for.

What are you thankful for?

Psalm 100 (The Message)

Psalm 100

A Thanksgiving Psalm

^1-2 On your feet now—applaud God! Bring a gift of laughter,
      sing yourselves into his presence.
³ Know this: God is God, and God, God.
      He made us; we didn't make him.
      We're his people, his well-tended sheep.
⁴ Enter with the password: "Thank you!"
      Make yourselves at home, talking praise.
      Thank him. Worship him.
⁵ For God is sheer beauty,
      all-generous in love,
      loyal always and ever

Psalm 100 (King James Version)

Psalm 100

¹Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands.

²Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing.

³Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

⁴Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.

⁵For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo credit: http://supplementalscience.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/thanksgiving-meal.jpg

Technorati Tags: thanksgiving,thankfulness,gratitude,thanks,singing,Lord,gladness,home,health,relationships,family,holidays

Teens and Drugs – Dare you ask?

Today over on www.TWITTERMOMS.com I participated with a posted discussion question:

Would you ask your teen whether he's using drugs?

My answer:

Definitely! You have to continually - on a daily basis - keep your teen engaged. Don't just ask the hard questions, keep communication open by asking and staying informed about their lives in general – E.V.E.R.Y.D.A.Y.  Yes, with hard questions, you might get the 'attitude'; but in the grand scheme of things - SO WHAT!

Keeping your teens away from drugs and smart about their choices – because they know they are accountable to you as a parent IS YOUR JOB.

Don't hesitate to talk to your teenager. I make it a point to let my son, Jas (14) know that he can tell me anything.... A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G. and that I will refrain from - reacting with shock or over-reacting in general. I want him to know he can talk to me - not only is it an option... I want him to feel inclined to talk to me.  I can’t stress this enough.

Find out what your teen is interested in... beside video games and iPods and talk to them about their interests... research and get brushed up on "did you know" kind of trivia about those topics that interest them.... try it!!!

Keep them engaged - no matter what it takes – then… the hard questions - won't be so.... hard to ask.

How do you feel about talking to your teens about drugs…. about anything for that matter?

Share your thoughts.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit: http://www.softchalk.com/lessonchallenge/lesson/Pharmacology/prescription_drugs.jpg

Technorati Tags: teenage years,teenagers,teens,drugs,drug use,parenting teens,communication,interests,relationships

Turkey Day Traditions

I started thinking about our Thanksgiving traditions when I heard about this contest sponsored by Target and www.Twittermoms.com.  Since my favorite store happens to be Target and Twittermoms is one of the best blogging contest sources around…I had to participate! 

Thanksgiving traditions changed for us when I lost close members of the family two years ago.  We had always spent that special day with my grandmother and my mom.  They both went to Heaven in 2007.  So with that year our traditions changed. 

But there are still two or three things that I do with the kiddos, and I think of both of these lovely ladies every Thanksgiving.

The Parade

Curling up on the couch to watch the parade is definitely the number one tradition of sorts.  Even my son, now at 14 will sit on the sofa and watch as Kass and I curl up on the loveseat and we comment on each of the floats, singers, balloons as they pass by. 

We always watched the parade at my grandmother’s house over the years when we would celebrate this special day with family… so now doing the same with my kiddos at home… makes the day special.

Turkey at home

We have to have turkey (and mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie).  I asked my daughter if she wanted me to fix the meal this year for us three or if she wanted to just go out to dinner.  She said we have to cook turkey and mashed potatoes, and…. (the list continued as she explained her choice to me).  So we will be at home, as tradition has it… and I will be cooking.  It used to my mom and my grandmother that had this job (when they were able)…. but I don’t mind (I guess).  It’s for my kiddos… so it’s worth it.

One Christmas story

This is one tradition I haven’t kept up with, but want to start it again even though my kiddos are getting older.  My mom would always take my cousins and my sister and me into a room after the Thanksgiving feast and she would read to us a Christmas story… as the kickoff for the Christmas season.  I’m not sure if my fourteen year old will sit for me to repeat this sentimental tradition… but I plan to find one special story (it was different every year she read to us) and read it to them after the meal.

What are your special Thanksgiving traditions?

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: Thanksgiving,Target,contests,traditions,familytimes,children

Writing IS Cathartic

I was recently approached via email by Leah Carey about a project she is initiating for personal development through writing prompts.  Writing is cathartic, I totally believe that on so many levels.  Her idea is a great one so I wanted to share it.  November 18 is the kickoff and she is focusing on two groups with this initial project of writing ideas, divorce and breast cancer.  Having survived divorce, she contacted me to share this with my readers and I hope you will jump over to her site and check out this great project.

Here is her spill verbatim:

“The WriteAway concept is based on the use of writing as a healing art.  I have been facilitating writing workshops for about five years to support people in healing their thoughts, beliefs, and fears around issues like breast cancer and aging.  You can see the results of this work at the Video Gallery on my website (www.leahcarey.com).  WriteAway is my first foray into bringing this work to an online community.

At 9 AM each weekday morning for 40 days, I will post a writing prompt that offers participants a vehicle for exploring their thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and experiences around divorce. Prompts will be available through my website, Twitter, and Facebook.  My suggestion is that participants spend approximately 20 minutes each day on this activity.

Because the questions are designed to help people dig deep and move forward in the healing process, it is important that there be a place of support for participants.  At my website there is also a WriteAway Forum where writers can post what they’ve written, read other people’s writing, discuss their feelings, challenges and victories, and support each other through the process of healing. Participating in the forums is not required; they are simply available as a place to share, learn, and grow.

About once a week, I will blog in response to what I am reading on the boards.  My primary interest is always in maintaining and promoting an atmosphere of healing and forward movement, and my blog entries and all interaction with participants will reflect that.

The first writing prompts will be posted on Wednesday, November 18 at 9 AM.  People can join the process at any time, and everyone who has been through a divorce is welcome.” …. Leah Carey

Leah’s website - www.leahcarey.com/writeaway
Leah’s Twitter – www.twitter.com/leah_carey
THE PROJECT on Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/pages/WriteAway-with-Leah-Carey/174131584874?ref=mf

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: writing,social community,healing,cathartic,divorce,relationships,breast cancer,personal development

List for Newlywed Marriages, Part 4 of 5

7.  MAINTAIN A SUPPORT SYSTEM: 

Keep your support system intact, instead of withdrawing from family and friends.  I’ll never forget the falsehood I was told when I was about to get married, “Now you will have to give up your friends.” I believed that back then, but realize now – what a mistake!  You  need to retain your support system of close friends and family.  Getting married doesn’t remove your need for others in your life: People to talk to, share your ideas with, or from whom to ask advice.  These people earned that position in your life for a reason.  Why would anyone think you have to give up that support system, just because you get married?  This idea is reiterated and expanded upon in the book, Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness and Transform Your Life by Lauren Mackler.  Even though her emphasis is referencing establishing this support system while you are still alone and single, that support system continues to be important when you are in a relationship.  

8.  COUNSELING FOR ALL COUPLES: 

Counseling for couples is a good thing and doesn’t mean you are a doomed couple; instead it means you are a smart couple trying to maintain a healthy perspective of each other’s needs by having an insightful mediator.  Participating in a newly developed healthy relationship I realize, no matter how much you have in common, no matter how well you get along, there’s still going to be ‘stuff’ that needs to be hashed out.  Having a mediator there to guide the conversation and keep you on a productive efficient track is a helpful and healthy way of addressing the tough issues.  Since I just started back to counseling, I will be sharing more on this idea in the near future.

Please check out the other posts in this series of things I wish I had known when I got married:

List for Newlyweds, Part 1

List for Newlyweds, Part 2

List for Newlyweds, Part 3

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit:  http://jollyblogger.typepad.com/jollyblogger/images/couch.gif

Technorati Tags: relationships,marriage,newlyweds,counseling,support team,networking,friendships,conversations

Get the Hint

Coaxing

Going down the interstate last night I was approaching an entrance ramp while driving in the right lane.  There was a truck entering from the ramp.  I slowed and blinked my lights (to inform him to merge in front of me).  He hesitated.  I slowed a little more and blinked high beam/low beam once again as a signal.  He hesitated and slowed.  I slowed even more to about a crawl at this point, flashing my lights as if I was trying to send SOS to a passing UFO nearby.

Finally after I came to almost a halt, the truck merged in front of me and went on. 

Why did I insist on letting this guy over?

Initially I was trying to do the right thing.  I was in the right lane and didn’t want to keep him trapped from merging into the traffic while at a high speed.  Then it just became a mission for me to get him to merge while I was blocking upcoming traffic behind me.  “Come on buddy, merge already!”

Trust and Communication

But he may not have trusted my motives or my flashing headlights.  He apparently didn’t get the signal or understand what I meant while trying to communicate the words “merge over”, as I slowed down and blinked my headlights.

After much persistence on my part, he was able to get the “hint,” get the message, and merged into traffic.

How often does this happen when we try to communicate with people?  Do you feel like you are blinking your lights, waving your hands, saying every word in your vocabulary attempting to get a message across to someone while they just stand there like a deer in headlights?  Stunned, hesitant, clueless.

I hate that feeling.  It is frustrating when they just aren’t getting it. But then I remember I need to be patient and slow down allowing them to have time to get a grip on what it is I am trying to relay, so it finally clicks.  Sometimes people need

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Change Is Coming

Continue to Embrace Change

Life is changing.  Whether we like it or want it or create it or NOT, changes in life happen.  We can’t stop it.  We might as well embrace it, enjoy it, and make the most of it.

 

I try to do this. I don’t like the thought of my kids growing up and one day leaving me to start life on their own; but I know it’s coming. That’s change; change that I can mold in the making by instilling in my kiddos today what will carry them into their future as adults. It’s the whole point of parenthood, right? It’s my obligation in parenthood.  Embracing the changes that I know are coming in the future can inspire me to take advantage of every waking moment, every opportunity of influence; and try to make the most of them with my kiddos.

New Relationships

But what about those changes that you do control? These are changes like moving to a new city or just to a different neighborhood where the kiddos will go to different schools. Or changes like bringing new relationships into the picture and exposing your kiddos to bonding with a person you just recently started getting to know.

 

Dating is one of those things we control as single parents. We control the timing; we control the depth of it. It’s normal to be tempted to ignore all the logic in waiting to introduce your kiddos till you really know someone you are dating. I was and still am a stickler on this one. I strongly encourage anyone dating as a single parent to wait till you know this guy (or girl) is a serious deal before having the kiddos to meet him or her.  You don’t want your kiddos to meet a different guy (or girl) every other weekend while you are still sorting out your definition of your own dating life and who’s who and who is a potential relationship.

 

But once you make the decision you have dated someone long enough or been with them on enough dates, to where you feel it’s ok for your kiddos to meet this new guy (or girl); this person is now a part of your kiddos’ life. Like it or not, once you make that choice… the journey of their developing relationship begins.

Getting Serious

As that relationship, that you introduced, develops over time and gets serious, it leads to more and more change. But these are changes that you control, once again, because you are in the driver’s seat when it comes to the timeline of your new relationship.  So you have to keep your head engaged and guiding you through the journey… not just your heart.  The heart may cause you to speed up and then you might just end up with a ticket, or worse. 

 

Don’t ignore your heart… but keep it in balance with the logic involved as well.  Remember that time when my heart could have led me down a different path – that wasn’t right for me, nor for him?  Instead I pulled myself back down to earth, faced reality, and logic kicked in.  But I digress….

 

There are changes going on in my little world as I have shared. But I have decided to put graduate school on the shelf for the time being. The anxiety attacks in the middle of the night were whispering to me that now may not be the time. With the investment (student loans) and all that comes with advancing my degree to a master’s degree, I don’t think I can add it to my plate with other “unknowns” on the horizon at the moment. I want to keep my sanity and my composure intact a little while longer.

 

Right now I am holding back on sharing everything going on in my little world. According to my fortune in last night’s Chinese fortune cookie, I am supposed to “Keep my plans secret for a while” or something like that.

 

But, I will tell you I started going to counseling again yesterday - I am now seeing someone from a different practice than where I went after the divorce. But I like this guy. He’s blunt and makes me face some hard questions about my future.

If you think I am speaking in riddles and getting a little too deep for a Friday post…. You’d be right. I don’t mean to sound vague. But essentially I wanted to share a little about what is on the horizon of my life, as the mysteries remain (even for me) as to what that horizon actually holds.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit:  http://itp.nyu.edu/projects_documents/1179008282_1177129345_thesis_preshow4.jpg

Technorati Tags: relationships,dating,single moms dating,changes,future,graduate school,counseling

Environmentally Conscious Kitchen Cleanup & Contest!

NO Nasty Chemicals: No problem – NO Nasty Cleanup: No problem

Remember the post when I talked about the way it used to be with just the three of us?  Back then I used my little itty bitty George Foreman – you know the one that will only hold 2 hamburgers on the grill at time… I still have it.  I love that little thing.  I would pull it out to make grilled cheese, quesadillas, and even FRENCH TOAST!  It’s great for one person or two.  Yes it will even make French toast – you have to try it.
Then when I started grilling for four and six people at a time… Mr. M brought over his ginormous George Forman grill.  It has been at my house ever since.  Now I like using this larger version of the grill I grew to love, (having 6-8 hamburgers ready in minutes is awesome) but cleanup became a little more involved because the thing is huge. 
Just recently I received some free samples from Ecostoreusa.com  (to do a review). They sent me a citrus spray cleaner – (with no nasty chemicals) and also a toilet cleaner.  So I used the citrus cleaner on the grill after it cooled down…(no not the toilet cleaner) and let it sit.  Then I just came back after a few minutes to wipe off the grill and the grease wiped right off!  What a treat.  That’s just what a single mom on-the-go with no time for scrubbing stubborn grime needs.  I love letting the product do the work for me and then coming back to do the follow-up wipe-down… that’s my idea of kitchen cleanup.
Thanks Ecostoreusa.com for such great products and keeping the nasty chemicals at bay as well!!!
If you would like to try out some of their stuff – I am offering one lucky reader $25.00 certificate to use in their store (sent via email from www.ecostoreusa.com)  You can buy at least two different products with that certificate to try them out…. (and with your free $25.00 purchase – you get FREE Shipping!!!)

Here’s how to win:

1. Leave a comment below on this post about how you would use the www.ecostoreusa.com products.  Remember to list your email – or at least a link to contact you through twitter or blogspot account.
2. Get an extra entry for signing up for the No Nasty Newsletter from their website.  Leave me a comment after you have done this to let me know you signed up for their newsletter on their blog.
3. Get one more entry for following me on twitter and following ecostoreusa on twitter as well!  Just leave one more comment to say you have followed both… and you are all set!
The winner will be picked at random from the entries on Tuesday, November 17.
Comment soon – contest for $25.00 certificate from www.ecostoreusa.com ends in two weeks (Monday, November 16 at midnight)!
Thanks for stopping by.
Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: www.ecostoreusa.com,healthy cleaning,environment,chemicals,cleaning,kitchens,grease,grime,george foreman