She is her mother’s daughter

My daughter is easily startled, her scream mechanism is easily tripped.  If she sees a ‘bee’ by the mailbox, you know it; if Jovi gets outside the gate, the whole neighborhood quickly knows something has gone awry at our house.  I ask her to work on this quick reaction of the screaming kind but… what can I say?

Last night Mr. M got to find out first hand, Kass is her mother’s daughter, once again.  I was back in the utility room and saw something on the floor, long legs, fat body, grossly tan with specks.  I called for Mr. M to come and check it out.  He’s a guy, he is supposed to take care of these things, right?

Once he looked at what I was staring at, he said, “It’s a camel cricket,”  calmly, nonchalantly and then began to walk off: leaving it there for me to contend with.  “Wait, you have to take care of it,” I replied.  “Step on it. You have shoes on, I don’t,” was his reaction.  So before it could “hop” into my bedroom I stepped on it.

As I stepped down on it, the cracking sound was just too much; without thinking I screamed (and rather loudly).  My son came running, and laughed, “I thought she saw a bug 6 feet tall from her screaming.”  So as you can see, he and Mr. M got a kick out of my reaction.  But it’s automatic, I can’t help it.  I was proud that I hadn’t screamed before then.

Oh well, they will just have to accept our inherent reactions… to bugs, and the like when it comes to Kass and her mother.  We just can’t help our nature to scream.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit:  [Photo from the Flickr stream of AlbinoFlea ]

Technorati Tags: camel cricket,bugs,screams,insects,daughters,mothers,Single moms,relationships

Caught in the act

I just realized I never posted this blog of pics taken hiking on the Blue Ridge Parkway.  Enjoy:

While Mr. M was taking this picture of me on the Blue Ridge Parkway back in April…

I was taking pictures of…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: Blue Ridge parkway,photography,black and white photo,nature,hiking,landscapes,flowers,walking away

Love is in the air…

Today I am participating in Heather’s (Desperately Seeking Sanity Blog) Trading Spaces Bloggy Style.   Several bloggers are switching with each other and sharing our thoughts with each other’s readers on (you guessed it) Love.

Below is the guest post shared by Tishia Lee.  Please take a moment to see her definition of Love below and then jump over to her blog, http://www.adventuresofasinglewahm.com to see my post for the day, titled: Love is Personal.  We would both love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below.

 

Trading Spaces, Bloggy Style

What is Love?

A child always seeking, reaching, trying to please her parents but always coming up short. Nothing she did was ever good enough especially for her dad. As she got older she became consumed with seeking her dads approval, seeking his love only to find that no matter what she did she couldn't make him love her how she wanted. She wanted to feel like a little princess, that she was the most important person on the face of the earth. She wanted to feel him wrap his arms around her and hug all her troubles and worries away. Instead she found it was easier to distance herself from a daddy she couldn't please because her grades were never good enough or her room wasn't clean enough. She found that making him love her wasn't going to happen. Sure he loved her in his own way but it always felt conditional and never like 'I love you just because you're my daughter'.

That girl mentioned above is me. I'm a grown woman in my 30's and the effects of growing up feeling unloved by my dad had some pretty harsh effects on me. In college I found that sleeping with a man was an easy way to feel loved, accepted and special...at least for a little while. Truth be told it always left me feeling more unloved and even 'emptier' in my heart than I did beforehand. And I soon found that men loved me conditionally just like my dad - as long as I was doing what they wanted they 'loved' me.

It didn't take long to build walls around my heart and learn that no one could ever love me unconditionally. Or that no one would ever want to love me like that. Obviously I wasn't worth being loved so deeply by someone. If my own dad couldn't love me the way a child deserves to be loved then why would anyone else? Imagine my surprise when in 2001 I was introduced to Jesus and taught that my Father in Heaven loved me unconditionally - faults and all. Sins and all. That no matter what I had done He loved me. That no matter what I do he loves me.

It's been 9 years since I became a Christian and while I still struggle with knowing that God loves me unconditionally I've seen my perception of love change drastically. When I think of the question what is love I giggle because I don't have the standard answer I used to have anymore (thank gosh!). I used to say it's feeling butterflies in my stomach, it's physical attraction, it's being intimate with someone. Sure those things can still be a part of how people perceive love but not for me anymore. Now a days I find myself answering that question with things that make me stop and think of love and one other thing - my son.

I think of how God loves me regardless of my faults, regardless of my sins. I think about how He knows the number of hairs on my head. I think about how He is so quick to forgive when I mess up. I think about how He doesn't expect anything in return other than me loving him back. And then I look at my son and think about how I love him and would do anything for him and that no matter what he does I'll always love him and suddenly I understand what love is and how God's love is even greater than what I feel for my son.

The moral of all this? To share my story and say that while my dad and I have a decent relationship today my heavenly father is the one that shows me unconditional love. My heavenly father is the one that wraps his arms around me and takes all my cares and worries away. My heavenly father is the one that I put my trust in because I know He will always provide for me and that He will always love me no matter what!

Brief Bio:
Tishia Lee is a 30 something single work at home mom to one child. Her and her son reside in lovely Northern Michigan. Be sure to check out her blog at http://www.adventuresofasinglewahm.com where she writes about her faith, dating, the trials and tribulations of being a single mom and more.

Photo Credit:  sxc.hu \ SexyMama

Now don’t forget to jump over to http://www.adventuresofasinglewahm.com and catch my post for the day, Love is Personal.

Technorati Tags: Love

Heavy Heart for Friday – But Diversion is Good

I have a heavy heart today.  Lots of things are happening in the circles that spin and touch mine on a daily  basis.  My best friend (TB) – her father has only hours left to live.  So their family is dealing with the turmoil of that emotional experience.  My heart is heavy for them. 

But this weekend I have so much to do, it will seem more like a whirlwind than a weekend.

Tonight the Girl Scout troop will be completing their service project, volunteering at our local SPCA.  That starts right after work.

Tomorrow bright and early I will be bringing my daughter and her friend to a ‘jamboree’ that she enjoys every year hosted by my employer.

Sunday my sister is having my niece’s 4th birthday party right after church.  At the same time my good friend and blogging buddy will be getting married!

So the weekend ahead will be a busy one keeping me on my toes - but my heart will still be heavy as I go through the motions of the weekend and pray for my friend’s family and stay in touch with them. 

Whisper a prayer.  They need comfort and strength; this has been a long battling road the last few weeks as they have watched him digress.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit: photoXpress.com \ mambarum

Technorati Tags: death,loss,family time,birthdays,volunteering,service,weekends

Hey Soul Sister… dot MoM

It’s my new fave song… I know, right? But I like it. Have you heard it? Here are the lyrics:

"Hey, Soul Sister"
Heeey heeeey heeeeey
Your lipstick stains on the front lobe of my left side brains
I knew I wouldn't forget you
And so I went and let you blow my mind
Your sweet moonbeam
The smell of you in every single dream I dream
I knew when we collided you're the one I have decided
Who's one of my kind
Hey soul sister, ain't that mister mister on the radio, stereo
The way you move ain't fair you know
Hey soul sister, I don't wanna miss a single thing you do tonight
Heeey heeeey heeeey
Just in time, I'm so glad you have a one track mind like me
You gave my life direction
A game show love connection, we can't deny
I'm so obsessed
My heart is bound to beat right out my untrimmed chest
I believe in you, like a virgin, you're Madonna
And I'm always gonna wanna blow your mind
Hey soul sister, ain't that mister mister on the radio, stereo
The way you move ain't fair you know
Hey soul sister, I don't wanna miss a single thing you do tonight
The way you can cut a rug
Watching you is the only drug I need
So gangster, I'm so thug
You're the only one I'm dreaming of
You see I can be myself now finally
In fact there's nothing I can't be
I want the world to see you'll be with me
Hey soul sister, ain't that mister mister on the radio, stereo
The way you move ain't fair you know
Hey soul sister, I don't wanna miss a single thing you do tonight
Hey soul sister, I don't wanna miss a single thing you do tonight
Heeey heeeey heeeeey (tonight)
Heeey heeeey heeeeey (tonight)
[Thanks to Matthew Letourneau, Lauren, Kirsten for correcting these lyrics]

It just sticks with you – it’s catchy.  Check out the video from youtube.com below to hear the song if you haven’t heard it before. 

I was telling Mr. M I liked it so much that I might have to change the name of my blog to:

And he said.

No.

So no.

I won’t be changing the name –anytime soon.

Enjoy:

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: Hey Soul Sister,Train,love,romance,music,pop,favorite

Teen Dance, Angst, and Slaps: Oh My

Recently I received an email from a guy we’ll call John.  I had previously posted a blog titled: A woman’s value is NOT based on her Bra size and he saw it and responded to me by asking for some advice.  Here was the dilemma he experienced:

Dear Katherine,

My name is (John) and I'm 17 years old.  I came upon your blog and  even though you don't have teenagers, I thought you might have some good insight on an experience I recently had.  It involved a girl I had just met at a dance.  We talked for a good half hour and seemed to be hitting it off.  She was very pretty, smart and nice.  We even exchanged email addresses.  I was so excited!

Then, things suddenly went downhill.  I commented that she had a “really nice, hourglass figure”. I thought she would take it as a compliment but instead she became deeply offended.  She told me I was being "inappropriate" and with a look of complete disgust, WHAP!, she slapped my face and departed. 

As I was standing there alone rubbing my cheek, with my friends nearby laughing at me, I was wondering why she was so offended.  She had a classic hourglass figure - busty, narrow waist, shapely hips/legs.  I guess she had interpreted “hourglass” as meaning big/overweight/full figured. Why can't girls embrace their curves?

Btw, I do have her email address.  Do you think I should send her an apology note or should I interpret the slap in the face as another way of saying she does not want to see me again?  

(John)

I have already responded to John, and my advice was to go ahead and try “only once” to email her with an apology.  Even if she didn’t respond I told him he could take away from this experience a newfound sensitivity to communicating with girls.  We are complicated creatures and puzzling when it comes to communication, you know.  Plus we all have our own angst about body image.

This long story short has a happy ending… but what do you think? 

Did she over-react? 

Should guys be more cautious when speaking to a girl he just met? 

What could he have done differently at the dance?

Well in the case with John here, he has kept in touch with me every step of the way: from the email apology all the way to their coffee date they had this past weekend.  For his date he was encouraged by his mom to take the young lady a small token of his heart felt apology (a daisy is what I suggested). 

After sharing a little about their time together on the coffee date,(John) says this is how it ended:

As we were leaving, she gave me a hug and peck on the cheek. I told her it was a big improvement from the last time and she laughed :-)

Sweet.

Please share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Find yourself…keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: relationships,dating,dances,first date,self esteem,confidence,body image,hourglass figure

Have you been seeing someone else?

Well have you? That’s what I expected to hear today when I made a phone call.

It was the phone call to my hair stylist.  I haven’t been to see her in probably over nine months.  I had to “refine” my budget when Kassity got her braces, and that was one thing I could eliminate from the monthly or bi-monthly expenses.  Yes, my plan was to have my hair professionally done (instead of using the little boxes off the shelf and my own trimming shears) back during my birthday month.  But all I can say is where does the time, go? Seriously, March came and went and I missed any opportunity to get my hair professionally done as well as many of the things I had planned to do – just for me.

But my hairstylist, Veronica, didn’t even flinch; she didn’t even skip a beat when she heard my voice.  She really knows how to keep a relationship, don’t you think?  And then I asked if she could ‘work me in’ because I was hoping she could do my color and cut this weekend.  Not only did she work me in, but I went the same day (today, Friday) after work and got everything done –no questions asked!

You know how hair stylists can be, but not this one.  Ah, all is well and I explained to her all about Kassity’s braces and that my tight budget was the reason I hadn’t been to see her in a while (all without being asked).

So that was my Mother’s Day pampering excursion for the weekend:  a new hairstyle.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: hair styles,haircuts,Mothers Day,pampering,me-time,budgets

Aging and Insurance

Work is hectic right now, and so blogging has been taking a back seat.  I still have the six tips for realizing your inner beauty I want to share and along with that series I have to tell you about a recent email I received from a young man asking for advice about a girl he had just met… and mistakenly insulted.  Yes more about all that soon.  Sign up for the subscription RSS feed if you don’t want to miss the upcoming blogposts.

But today as a sponsored post, I want to talk to you about life insurance.  A difficult part of growing up is realizing your parents also continue to get older.  As parents age sometimes it leads to difficult subject matters, difficult decisions, and complicated legal matters.  

A friend of mine is dealing with aging parents.  Her dad is in the hospital as I write this; he has been suffering from a long battle with Alzheimer's – sound familiar?  I can relate many times to stories she shares with me as I remember a few years ago dealing with many of the same issues when my mom suffered from the disease.  It is a horrible disease and as I listen and share related stories –I so want to help her but then realize there’s nothing I can do to fix it.  I can only be a friend, but in essence that is all she really needs from me.

As she and her family come to terms with what’s next, they have taken steps to ensure certain things were in place.  They met with lawyers and now have a game plan for handling his estate and her mom’s assets.  It can be so complex and overwhelming.  One item that people need to have already in place when considering all this is funeral insurance.  At the very least they need to have this expense anticipated as a part of his insurance package.

It  is hard to talk about aging parents.  Some of you reading this don’t have to worry about such matters for a long time.  But in the mean time, there is no reason you can’t go ahead and get life insurance quotes.  Life insurance is something you want to think about and plan for earlier rather than later.  I remember how grateful we were that my mom had it in place when the time came.

My heart goes out to my friend who is in the middle of this difficult part of her dad’s journey.  I am praying for her and the family and hoping comfort and peace surround them at this time as they make such difficult decisions.

Remember, sometimes we have to deal with things that are not on the pleasantries list of life.  Life insurance is one of those things, but a necessity all the same. 

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Disclaimer: The above has been a sponsored post.(http://www.aussie.com.au/)

Photo Credit:  PhotoXpress.com – Paul Paladin

Strawberry Festival – our day in pictures

 

Mr. M looks so happy to be at the festival.

 

 

His youngest enjoying some chocolate dipped strawberries.

Chocolate dipped strawberry

 

Mr. M’s oldest son and my son enjoying the strawberries.

 

What a crowd.  Beautiful day – but warm. (Close to 90 that day)

This guy looked a little too happy to have this corn snake around his neck as he shared some facts about it at the zoo table.

I don’t have any pics of me getting overheated.  It was so crowded and so warm that at one point I had to find a place to sit down because I started feeling light headed.  Oh well.  We didn’t make it to the chili cook-off because of that. (Sorry Jas.)

But it was still a good day, we just ended up going somewhere cooler and getting a late lunch after being at the festival a couple hours.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credits:  Katherine Shinault

Technorati Tags: corn snake,photography,pictures,strawberries,chocolate,recreation,family time,festival