My new favorite

I took about a dozen photographs of this gorgeous butterfly last weekend.  I had a hard time choosing a favorite.  There were a few great shots IMHO.  But this one is my current fave.

Later this week when I was reading a book I am currently using for personal devotions, I read this passage and it made me think of this beauty as well as reflect for a few moments:

…If we look closely at the workings of creation, we find that God nearly always works through process.  Think of it.  First there is a seed, then a sprout, then a blossom, and finally fruit.  God does not begin with a butterfly, but with a larva that becomes a chrysalis and finally a creature with wings.  Neither does God speak a star into existence, but sends dust floating into space, then interstellar gas that slowly heats up, and eons later a star is formed.  Perhaps most mysterious of all is the unfolding process of ovum, fetus, baby, child, adolescent, adult.  The universe is designed to move stage by stage, from incompletion to completion.  Now why should we suppose that God has designed the heart any differently than the rest of creation?… (pp. 69-70, Firstlight, The Early Inspirational Writings of Sue Monk Kidd)

The heart goes through stages just like the butterfly.  It is a process, it takes time.  I’m currently trying to be more aware of the stage of my heart.

Where is your heart? What stage or level in the process of becoming… more compassionate, more aware, more tender?

Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit:  Katherine Shinault, SOLO dot MOM (http://kitkat4real.blogspot.com)

Technorati Tags: relationships,personal development,photography,photos,nature,butterflies,butterfly,metamorphosis,devotions,God's love,God's creation

Love, it moves me

He said I love you and it touched the deepest part of me.

Having a teenager is full of challenges.  I talk about them often.  My frustrations and my moments. Not necessarily my moments of overwhelming joy, just my moments.

To his credit, my teenage son is a good kid.  He is.  He just has his “moments.”

A couple months ago when we were at the lake celebrating Memorial Day, he was misbehaving like most big brothers do and was bullying his sister in the water.  She was fine, but he kept doing it and getting a reaction from her of course.  I didn’t realize how persistently he had been doing it since I only witnessed one episode in the water.  Later in conversation with the girls (Kass and her friend E) I realized there was more to it.  “I couldn’t believe you only had him to sit out of the water for 10 minutes when he was doing that to Kass,”  E said to me in that conversation.  I had only made him come out the one time I saw him pushing her around and dunking her in the water.  E told me he had been doing that most of the day.

With this new information I wondered how I would help Jas see the way more clearly.  When I mentioned the concern to Mr. M he gave me a brilliant idea.  “Have him write a paper as his punishment.” Let the punishment fit the crime.  Knowing Jas doesn’t like writing papers for school, I knew this would be punishment enough and the topic combination would be none other than “how people drown” and “teenage bullying.” That should cover it.  I wanted him to realize for himself that “messing around” in the water dunking someone or holding them under temporarily to be funny, was no laughing matter and could lead to something serious if someone panicked. 

So he had to write the paper before spending any time with friends or getting his laptop returned.  Long story short, he wrote the paper.  We went back to the lake, July 4th weekend and the incident was not repeated; not even once.

I’m not going to sit here and tell you “Yay for me,” I’ve got this raising teenagers thing down to a science.  Because quite simply, I don’t. I’m still learning. Every day.

The kiddos have been gone spending some time with their dad for three weeks.  To say I miss them is the understatement of the year. Yes, even with their “moments” I miss them. I have talked with them every couple of days since they have been gone.  Today, when I was talking to Jas, which usually lasts all of 45 seconds with each phone conversation, I ended with, “I love you.”  Normally he won’t say it, especially in front of his dad.  So consider my surprise when he said “I love you, too.”

It has happened before, if you read this post from 2008.  Yeah, 2008.  It’s been said at other times sporadically since then, that I haven’t blogged.  But still you can appreciate that it doesn’t happen often.

When he said those four words, it immensely touched the deepest part of my being.  I cannot articulate it better than to say… it moved me.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Technorati Tags: discipline,teenagers,love,family time,parenting

My first time

“You take all the time you need.”

I heard these words and then was left alone, in the darkened room with candles lit and soft zen-like music playing.  Water was rushing through the fountain on the table, yet calming and relaxing. 

Only a few minutes passed and I was ready. 

For my first time.

My first time (you wonder)? oh for…my massage. (You weren’t thinking THAT were you? I have been married and have two kids, ya know.)

This wasn’t just any massage but a therapeutic massage.  I didn’t know what to expect.  And to my surprise, it included hot stones. I was giddy.  Hot stones!  They were wonderful.

What a Christmas present… that I finally found time to use in July.

As a single mom, living on a budget and cutting out most forms of luxury now that I’ve added braces to the list of monthly payments, I don’t get to indulge in things like this… ever.  It just isn’t part of my “allowance.” 

The kids like to eat.

They tend to eat a lot.

Everyday in fact.

So I began thinking on my drive home, how I might manage to save some money to splurge ‘once in a while’ and repeat this experience.  What could I remove from the weekly spending so that I could save up for a few months at a time to have enough for this little bit of pampering?

Some might buy Starbucks coffee once a week or buy sodas at work, and if so, you could cut those out.  But I don’t.  Some might choose not to get their nails done one month or two and use that manicure money.  But I don’t get my nails done professionally either. 

So where could I cut back?

I decided I can pack my lunch more often and save those dollars till I have enough to splurge on another one of those…

amazing…

relaxing…

me-time massages.

Yeah they’re worth a few more peanut butter and jelly sandwich lunches.

At least in my book.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

(And believe it or not, this isn’t a sponsored post, but my genuine enjoyment of a first-time experience.  I want my regular readers to know that I owe you more for your time of stopping by than so many sponsored posts.  I will be writing more from my heart, so stick around; do come back to hear more about me finding myself, over and over again.)

Photo Credit: Author: alma_sacra (photoXpress.com)

Technorati Tags: budgets,spa,massage,therapeutic,saving money

Walk Like You Have Somewhere to Go

In reality, my unhappiness wasn’t Phil’s fault or anyone else’s. 

As women, we often look to our men to be the knights in shining armor who will make everything right. 

We expect them to be the ones to validate us and make us feel worthy. 

Trust me when I say, the men in our lives can’t do that. 

More often than not, they are fighting the same insecurities and demons we are. 

It would take me years to realize that I was the only one responsible for my happiness and that blaming others only shifted the focus away from where it needed to be – on me.

Quote above from pages: 125-126 (Walk Like You Have Somewhere to Go).

The mother of Shaquille O’Neal, Lucille O’Neal shares her life story in this book, Walk Like You Have Somewhere to Go.  She struggles through a difficult childhood and shares about her life when she becomes pregnant as a teen and the ramifications when she starts her journey as a single mom.  Her path may have been full of difficult moments but in her later years she gives credit to God for guiding her journey to a place where she finds answers to questions many of us share right along side her.

Later on page 177, she writes:

I never saw the possibility of changing my life while struggling to figure out how to feed a family of six with one chicken.  But that is the true beauty of God’s plan for us.  We may not know what His plans hold for us, but we must trust that they are bigger and better than anything we could ever imaging for ourselves. “With God all things are possible.” – Matt. 19:26 (NKJV)

To read these words from someone who now has everything available to her at her fingertips – is impressive.  One of my favorite stories she shares is after Shaq has acquired his wealth and she has his “driver” in his limo take her to Kmart to buy furnishings for Shaq’s new house.  But that one, you have to read for yourself.

Each single mom may have a different story about how we came to this role in life; whether through a divorce like me or like Lucille O’Neal who was thrown into adulthood quickly as a teenage mom.  But each of our stories can become a better story if we know where to turn to find the answers.  Lucille realized this.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

This review was made possible by Thomas Nelson Publishing.  The book listed above was received to read for possible review.

Technorati Tags: Walk Like You Have Somewhere to Go,Thomas Nelson,relationships,self-esteem,personal development,Faith,teenagers,single moms,teen pregnancy

Me-Time for a massage

Me-Time is in abundance this week.  I have already started a list of things I want to do while I await my kiddos return from their summer break with their dad.  Mr. M just left this morning with his sons for a week long visit to see family in Maryland, so the me-time just multiplied. 

As a single mom, one of the things I had to conquer from the very beginning was how I would use the time I had alone when the kiddos were at their dad’s house.  In the early stages with no ‘relationship’ of interest I found myself lonely instead of utilizing that time to pursue interests that had been buried during my past.

Now all these years later I manage this time as a source of productivity. This week, I have a list of small projects I may (or may not) get done during my free time/me-time as well as some overdue pampering.  Reading and writing is definitely ranked high as well as some touch-up painting needed on baseboards after the floors were refinished.

Mid-week I have a special treat planned: an appointment for my first ever therapeutic massage after work.  Thanks to my best friend, TB for a gift card to a nearby day spa, I get to have this treat.  (The gift card should have been used months ago, since I got it for Christmas. Finally I have the me-time to do so.)

What are some extra-special things you like to do during your me-time?

Share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Find yourself…keeping it real.

Photo Credit: SXC.hu \ Kikashi

Technorati Tags: massage,me-time,pampering,home improvement,spa,therapeutic,gifts,single moms,lonely,time management

Never Let You Go

If you like the suspense and page turning intensity of Ted Dekker, you have to read works by Erin Healy.  She coauthored Burn, which I also read and reviewed a few months ago. But the book, Never Let You Go, was written by Healy herself.  It is definitely full of suspense and surprises.  She gets you pulled into the story quickly…

Quote from Never Let You Go:

The parking lot light gasped again and this time faded to black.  The steady yellow light behind her also flickered once and died, stranding Lexi in black air exactly halfway between the restaurant and car.  She stopped.  A second later, two at most, the light over the Volvo staggered back to relative brilliance.

She gasped.  The thin air knifed her throat.  The grasses had fallen silent, and the winds were as still as if God had stepped between them and the earth.

All four doors of her car were flung wide.  Two seconds earlier they had been sealed shut, but now they gaped open like Lexi’s disbelieving mouth, popped open with the speed of a switchblade, with the flip of an invisible lever, the flick of an illusionist’s light.

A heavy hand came down on her shoulder from behind. Lexi yelped and whirled out from under the palm.

“Sexy Lexi.”

Her hand was at her throat, her pulse pounding through the layers of the thin jacket her breathing too shallow for her to speak. (end quote)

And that happens on page 4!

Scenes like these are what keep you wondering from one chapter to the next as the flips and turns in the story keep you up till midnight and later on a work day.  (I know this from experience.) But late nights are worth it when you have to know what is going to happen to “Lexi” next and how she is going to survive the threats that come her way as a result of her sorted past.  A past that lead to her own sister’s death.

The author even captures the dynamic of a spiritual element between heaven and earth that haunts her every decision. Finally can “Lexi” find the true depth of forgiveness?

You will have to read it and find out.  Without revealing too much let me just say:  Well done, Erin Healy.  I will be looking for more of your works even if they do rob me of my beauty sleep.

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Disclosure:  I received this book, Never Let You Go, by Erin Healy to read for a possible review from the publicist, Amy Currie, Senior Publicist for Phenix & Phenix Literary Publicists

Technorati Tags: Never Let You Go,Erin Healy,Ted Dekker,book review,suspense,thriller,spiritual depth,forgiveness

A Day at the Lake

Part of our weekend celebration for Independence Day included a day at Smith Mountain Lake.  We tried a different community park this time: it wasn’t crowded and was very relaxing.  As the kiddos played in the lake, this butterfly got Jas’ attention so I grabbed the camera and caught it in mid-flight. 

He enjoyed trying to catch it literally.

I enjoyed catching him and one of God’s beautiful creations on film.  (Correction they are both God’s beautiful creations, just don’t tell him I got all sappy, ok?)

Earlier that day we were getting everything together and ready to head out.  The list included beach towels for each of us, sunscreen, a mat, plus my big beach blanket.  And I was able to get all of that into my new personalized beach tote I received for a review post from www.simply-bags.com.  I absolutely love it.

When they contacted me about doing a review on my blog, I had to stop and think about it for all of twenty seconds before I hit reply with a resounding “Absolutely!”  Totes are my weakness, I will admit and this one is my new fave.  It is not only roomy but it also zips across the top to keep all my goodies from falling out while carrying it across the sand.  We had quite a bit in there for our trip as you can see.

Our day was as full as the beach tote.  The kids had a blast.  Here’s Kass and our neighbor, E, enjoying the water…

I didn’t get any good pics of the guys…but

 

…I captured this other beauty that landed on my knee and beside me on the blanket several times. 

And of course, Mr. M, himself…(quite the catch isn’t he?)

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo credits: Katherine Shinault

Technorati Tags: beach totes,personalized bags,www.simply-bags.com,family time,holidays,lakes,vacation,photography,butterflies,dragonflies

He’s getting older…and wants to drive

Jas has been bringing up the driving thing lately.  Not that I wasn’t expecting it. He turned 15 several months ago and is just weeks away from being old enough for his learner’s.

But this is the part of his growing up I have been dreading.  You know, since he was two and started riding a big-wheel I have hated the thought of him driving.

It’s not even so much about the expenses involved like buying a car, a car insurance policy, or paying for gas.  Although, I have included these items in our conversations so he understands the reality of that next step. Perhaps he should get quotes for insurance on teenage drivers to fully realize the magnitude of driving.

But my bigger concern is simply the hugeness of this step into independence.  He will be officially growing up when he has a driver’s license and a car.  Plus I know what is inevitable.  Once he is driving, it won’t be, “I wonder if he is going to have an accident,” but “when.”

Not that I want to sound morbid or negative, (I know I am sounding morbid and negative) but I am just preparing for the reality of my baby driving out there on those busy streets where all the crazies are.

Maybe instead of wanting to drive he could come to me and say he wants to start a business in California.  Then we could just all move to California with him, discuss getting insurance for business in California and put my mind at ease about this whole driving thing.  Seriously, I would much rather be getting rates for business insurance.

Yeah, I know… dreaming. (Now who’s crazy?)  Instead of looking into business insurance information, I need to start looking into a good deal for a used vehicle, the best deal for teenage drivers insurance, and sending up many prayers for travel mercies.

What are your fears about your baby growing up into adulthood?

Find yourself… keeping it real.

Photo Credit: Katherine Shinault

Disclaimer:  This post was brought to you by your friends at localinsurance.com.